Hi folks,
I am a newbie to the forum, but I have been reading the posts on the forum for months. I just registered today to be able to post my question. I failed a CBT attempt this year. I was hospitalized. My life is horrible. My mood disorder has costed me so many friendships and relationships. I cannot take it anymore. There are so many people that hate me. I screwed up so much this past year, I cannot undo the damage. I honestly cannot live with the anxiety, pain, guilt, grief and shame. My pet died too. I was supposed to die, but I did not. I hurt people without intending to do so. I am also tired of being bullied and disrespected because of my personality. People walk all over me.
I am looking for advice. I want to CBT in a way that would look like an accidental death. It would be amazing if my family could get life insurance for me. I only have life insurance for one more month and then it is over: no job and probably will not get one because I messed up so badly at this one. I attempted to CBT at my place of employment to send a message. Management treated me like crap. I was being bullied, they did nothing about it. I cannot attempt to CBT there again. Because of the coronavirus, there is no way into the building and security is probably already on the look out for me.
I just cannot take it anymore. It is one bad occurrence after another. This has been the worst year of my life. CBT is my only way to get peace.
I have accomplished everything I wanted to in this life. It is just going downhill from here, nothing but shame, grief and guilt.
Any suggestions? It will be easier on my mother, if it appears accidental. Life insurance would be my way of getting back at my employer. The $200,000 would help my mother. She has no income coming in because of the virus and my father was laid off work.
Bath tub? I hope I am not breaking any rules. I have court in May. I really want to be dead by then. I am just exhausted of this life. Corona is only making this life more unbearable and will make life much worse. The recession coming will be worse than during the great depression.
tx for reading.
I am a newbie to the forum, but I have been reading the posts on the forum for months. I just registered today to be able to post my question. I failed a CBT attempt this year. I was hospitalized. My life is horrible. My mood disorder has costed me so many friendships and relationships. I cannot take it anymore. There are so many people that hate me. I screwed up so much this past year, I cannot undo the damage. I honestly cannot live with the anxiety, pain, guilt, grief and shame. My pet died too. I was supposed to die, but I did not. I hurt people without intending to do so. I am also tired of being bullied and disrespected because of my personality. People walk all over me.
I am looking for advice. I want to CBT in a way that would look like an accidental death. It would be amazing if my family could get life insurance for me. I only have life insurance for one more month and then it is over: no job and probably will not get one because I messed up so badly at this one. I attempted to CBT at my place of employment to send a message. Management treated me like crap. I was being bullied, they did nothing about it. I cannot attempt to CBT there again. Because of the coronavirus, there is no way into the building and security is probably already on the look out for me.
I just cannot take it anymore. It is one bad occurrence after another. This has been the worst year of my life. CBT is my only way to get peace.
I have accomplished everything I wanted to in this life. It is just going downhill from here, nothing but shame, grief and guilt.
Any suggestions? It will be easier on my mother, if it appears accidental. Life insurance would be my way of getting back at my employer. The $200,000 would help my mother. She has no income coming in because of the virus and my father was laid off work.
Bath tub? I hope I am not breaking any rules. I have court in May. I really want to be dead by then. I am just exhausted of this life. Corona is only making this life more unbearable and will make life much worse. The recession coming will be worse than during the great depression.
tx for reading.
