Help “Accident” vs “Intentional”

[needtogo]

I need to ctb ASAP. I really feel like I need to say why I am the way I am, and how doctors literally destroyed me with horrible advice and deception. But at the same time, everyone dismisses me saying "it gets better". I know objectively it can only get worse, so it makes logical sense to end it sooner than later. But at the same time, if I write a note/ make a post, people will then hate my parents and my family will be tarnished. I don't want to do that.
I've been lucky enough to have many friends and to have attended a smaller college so if I die it will be talked about.

I'm dealing with terrible pain in the rectum/Perinium/penis 24/7, sitting down, laying down, everything. I've lost my sexuality from SSRI, I'm lost all my muscles, my mind is shot. I've ghosted every friend. But if I make my death an accident it will be easier for people to deal with, that is, an accidental OD on opiates/pills laced with F. But it's much more difficult to obtain those for me. I can however drive 20 minutes and pick up a shotgun. But that's impossible to say I "accidentally" shot myself in the head, given ive never owned a weapon ever.

What would you do in this situation?
I feel like I have a moral obligation to let people know the dangers of psychiatry and the horrors of the mental health field, but at the same time I care about my family.

 

[PhilosOfDoom]

That must be very frustrating for you. You don't feel recognized, right? It's really hard to play a shotgun off as a misfire, jumping as tripping, od as being drugged, and etc. Less of someone shooting you, car crash or faking your death, I don't see anyway to pass your suicide off as accidental. Only method would be car crash, that could be passed off as accidental, especially on a rainy day. Why do you need to commit suicide so urgently? I'd recommend thinking about this before doing a specific method, or doing such a drastic move.

 

[s1mplem3]

It's time to think about yourself. You suffer from pain and your family have to understand it.

 

[needtogo]

Thank you for the reply. I need to do this because my mind and body have been declining since this medication fuck up happened 5 months ago, and my methods of recovery are not feasible. I was on track to become a successful musician. It took me 20 years to finally have confidence to perform in front of a crowd, and with 2 years of performing I got very comfortable. I went from that, having no social anxiety, to now being scared/ annoyed by any music and afraid of the public. I don't know what my hell will be, but it's getting more fuel by the day. I'm subconsciously punishing myself because I took a drug that ravaged my sexuality, when my only anxiety left to conquer was ED. I used to be intelligent and fun and free, and now I'm a slave to the medications. I need to liberate myself as soon as possible, and I'm going to be home probably for only a short period of time until I get shipped off to some other bs facility. So if I'm gonna do it, it's gotta be within the month.

 

[PhilosOfDoom]

Thank you for the reply. I need to do this because my mind and body have been declining since this medication fuck up happened 5 months ago, and my methods of recovery are not feasible. I was on track to become a successful musician. It took me 20 years to finally have confidence to perform in front of a crowd, and with 2 years of performing I got very comfortable. I went from that, having no social anxiety, to now being scared/ annoyed by any music and afraid of the public. I don't know what my hell will be, but it's getting more fuel by the day. I'm subconsciously punishing myself because I took a drug that ravaged my sexuality, when my only anxiety left to conquer was ED. I used to be intelligent and fun and free, and now I'm a slave to the medications. I need to liberate myself as soon as possible, and I'm going to be home probably for only a short period of time until I get shipped off to some other bs facility. So if I'm gonna do it, it's gotta be within the month.

You're being shipped? wtf. Well, if you truly wanted to be accidental, on a rainy day with the roads slippery, in a rural area where people won't immediately report your crash, wear a seat belt, and crash into a tree, with as high of speeds as possible. But it's possible your living conditions could disqualify this method, if so, then best of luck with your plan. Make sure to update us.

EDIT: The method would likely be found out by investigators, I retract what I said. Plus low chance of death. Do not try.

 

[needtogo]

You're being shipped? wtf. Well, if you truly wanted to be accidental, on a rainy day with the roads slippery, in a rural area where people won't immediately report your crash, wear a seat belt, and crash into a tree, with as high of speeds as possible. But it's possible your living conditions could disqualify this method, if so, then best of luck with your plan. Make sure to update us.

Interesting idea. Will do!

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Here's why I do not believe the accident attempt will work.

My father was a death investigator, I learned a lot about his work. Law enforcement has accident scene investigators. They can tell by tire tracks and other evidence whether it was an accident or intentional, such as braking for am animal and losing control versus pretending to have an accident. I also worked in auto insurance claims, if LE doesn't investigate the scene, they can hire independent investigators that can do the same, but I never saw a claim that didn't have detailed police reports of how the accident occurred with diagrams, etc. None of them were suicides, but the investigations were thorough. If there were doubts and the claim required it, they would go out to the scene and take photos and do their own investigation, hire experts if needed.

I'm sorry.

 

[jgm63]

You're being shipped? wtf. Well, if you truly wanted to be accidental, on a rainy day with the roads slippery, in a rural area where people won't immediately report your crash, wear a seat belt, and crash into a tree, with as high of speeds as possible. But it's possible your living conditions could disqualify this method, if so, then best of luck with your plan. Make sure to update us.

Sounds like a terrible idea.
In a modern car (with many safety features), wearing a seat belt.
Surely there is a fair chance of just ending up with severe injuries ?

 

[PhilosOfDoom]

Here's why I do not believe the accident attempt will work.

My father was a death investigator, I learned a lot about his work. Law enforcement has accident scene investigators. They can tell by tire tracks and other evidence whether it was an accident or intentional, such as braking for am animal and losing control versus pretending to have an accident. I also worked in auto insurance claims, if LE doesn't investigate the scene, they can hire independent investigators that can do the same, but I never saw a claim that didn't have detailed police reports of how the accident occurred with diagrams, etc. None of them were suicides, but the investigations were thorough. If there were doubts and the claim required it, they would go out to the scene and take photos and do their own investigation, hire experts if needed.

I'm sorry.

Didn't realize that, thanks for the insight. I will redact my recommendation then. Sorry for the misinfo. Do you have any methods that would look accidental in mind?

Sounds like a terrible idea.
In a modern car (with many safety features), wearing a seat belt.
Surely there is a fair chance of just ending up with severe injuries ?

I was going off of the most accidental I could think of. I just now realized it still wouldn't look accidental to investigators. Why would a person intentionally not wear a seatbelt during bad weather? Guess I should put a disclaimer, apologies.

Interesting idea. Will do!

I redact what I said. Investigators would find out. Additionally, chance of death would be low.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

The only believably accidental deaths I know of involve CO, like the guy who barbecued in his van, or folks who run generators in their garages during power outages.