Abuse within families is the worst cruelty because we humans never asked to be born into the families we are given

[FireFox]

Family abuse is the worst cruelty because we never chose our families we are born into just like we never chose to be born in this awful shitty world. Our families chose us our existence is because our families chose to have us. As I grow older I am actually ashamed of my own relatives because they are emotionally abusive arseholes who live off other relatives money and goodwill and have absolutely no remorse for the suffering they continue to bring others. These people will never change. I am always nice to my relatives on my grandmothers side of the family still they absolutely hate me all because I have achieved more with my life going to university and not getting pregnant compared to their kids and grandchildren who all got pregnant, didn't finish school and live in poverty.

I am from an Immigrant family and in my family's culture ( African) family is an enormous deal and in my family's culture people who live in the western countries send money back home overseas to help relatives who are struggling.

I had a massive row with my religious grandmother and expressed my pure resentment over her along with my mother sending money overseas to help these ungrateful relatives throughout the years because our family is poorer because of it and I ended up getting left behind. My grandmother said the bible says "you must help" and "forgive". I told my grandmother a good God would have given us a better family relatives and not these evil shameless people called relatives who just continue to bring suffering to other people and refuse to take responsibility for their actions. I told my grandmother I never asked to be born into this family and now I am suffering because of these arsehole relatives.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I agree with the title. If I got treated right by my parents, I most likely wouldn't be here to begin with. Or maybe I would. But my life would be better. Though part of it to blame is me too as I most likely would have gotten treated right if I wasn't born autistic.. if I was born normal

 

[needrelief18]

I agree. Our little child brains collect the trauma and we live it out for the rest of our lives. Born into this existence is a curse.

 

[Photographer Fizzle]

Family abuse is the worst cruelty because we never chose our families we are born into just like we never chose to be born in this shitty world. Our families chose us our existence is because our families chose to have us. As I grow older I am actually ashamed of my own relatives because they are emotionally abusive arseholes who live off other relatives money and goodwill and have absolutely no remorse for the suffering they continue to bring others. These people will never change. I am always nice to my relatives on my grandmothers side of the family still they absolutely hate me all because I have achieved more with my life going to university and not getting pregnant compared to their kids and grandchildren who all got pregnant, didn't finish school and live in poverty.

I am from an Immigrant family and in my family's culture ( African) family is an enormous deal and in my family's culture people who live in the western countries send money back home overseas to help relatives who are struggling.

I had a massive row with my religious grandmother and expressed my pure resentment over her along with my mother sending money overseas to help these ungrateful relatives throughout the years because our family is poorer because of it and I ended up getting left behind. My grandmother said the bible says "you must help" and "forgive". I told my grandmother a good God would have given us a better family relatives and not these evil shameless people called relatives who just continue to bring suffering to other people and refuse to take responsibility for their actions. I told my grandmother I never asked to be born into this family and now I am suffering because of these arsehole relatives.

I hear you.
I, too, have suffered trauma from "family." I am in poverty, too. I am in my late 30s and wake up deeply ashamed of being stuck where I am.
I suffer still.
I hear you.

 

[FireFox]

I agree with the title. If I got treated right by my parents, I most likely wouldn't be here to begin with. Or maybe I would. But my life would be better. Though part of it to blame is me too as I most likely would have gotten treated right if I wasn't born autistic.. if I was born normal

@ijustwishtodie You deserved so much better. I do not understand why people have kids if they are never going to love them. Parents who abuse and treat their kids badly deserve everything they get it, these people deserve no peace in ageing.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

@ijustwishtodie You deserved so much better. I do not understand why people have kids if they are never going to love them. Parents who abuse and treat their kids badly deserve everything they get it, these people deserve no peace in ageing.

People have kids for their own selfish gain. My mum had kids for her own selfish gain (i.e. for familial reputation and to have people who would unconditionally take care of her during old age). Though this kinda backfired as she made me so dependent on her to where I'm the one who now needs to be taken care of. But, at the same time, if I stay being dependent on her, I'll have to take care of my parents at old age.. unless if I kill myself before then

 

[FireFox]

I hear you.
I, too, have suffered trauma from "family." I am in poverty, too. I am in my late 30s and wake up deeply ashamed of being stuck where I am.
I suffer still.
I hear you.

@Photographer Fizzle You deserved so much better. I wish society started talking more openly and being honest about the fact cruel and abusive families do exist and it does harm an individuals mental wellbeing. I hate how society tells us not to kill ourselves but doesn't provide any support to enable us to live more freer, comfortable and dignified lives worth living.

when i was at university my symptoms of depression began to show and when i reached out to my close university friends they told me to go talk to my relatives. When I told my university friend that talking to my relatives is not an option because they gossip too much. The last relative I was close with she publicly revealed our private conversations and the family thought I was nothing but a freak, werido who needed " fixing" and pretty much gossiped, laughed about how I am crazy. It was so humiliating

My friends didn't want to know. The minute you mention you come from a dysfunctional family people do not want to know. Its time we be honest not everyone has caring families and family can be quite factor in why an individual chooses to end their life.

 

[WonderingSoul]

One of the main reasons I'm even on this site.

 

[FireFox]

I agree. Our little child brains collect the trauma and we live it out for the rest of our lives. Born into this existence is a curse.

@needrelief18 Growing up I always felt like I never belonged anywhere because my blood relatives never gave me the real love and belonging a family is supposed to give one of their own. First they all knew my mum was struggling as a single mother when she had me and absolutely NONE of them cared even the middle class ones didnt care so as result as a teenager i always felt unwanted and unloved. These entilted arseholes have audacity to demand I see them and spend time with them.

Then as a teenager I also had to deal with my relatives thinking I am a crazy freak of the family all because I used to have a habit of talking to myself. I do it mainly out of boredom as visiting family gatherings are boring as hell, I like to comment on things I see and I tend to see things more deeply. These relatives gossiped about how I was crazy and tried to get me fixed by sending me to witchdoctor until my family had to intervene.

I knew someone who went to witch doctor in an African country because thier relatives got their way. The entire experience permanently messed up the poor woman mentally. The woman when she went she was never the same person again. It is scary to witness how the whole thing fucked her up. This is what my piece of shit relatives wanted for me. People do get abused in witch doctor sessions, others come back with other kinds of psychological trauma because of the methods these witch doctors use during the experience.

I have experienced relatives looking down upon me for being absolutely nothing like them. Ie I don't speak the language nor i do I enjoy the foods and I live a completely different lifestyle to them.

Meanwhile the male relatives who beat their wives still get respect in the family.

One of the main reasons I'm even on this site.

@WonderingSoul you deserved so much better. Families and relatives who abuse other family members deserve absolutely everything they get. These people deserve no peace whatsoever in life and shouldn't be allowed to die peacefully in old age.

I believe terminally ill abusers should be banned from getting euthanasia because a peaceful death is far too good for them. Abusers should suffer till the very end of their lives

 

[hermestrimegistus]

Its the absolute worst. Sexually abused by a sibling. Physically abused by my mother. And I guess technically emotionally abused by my father. You can't choose your family. It sucks. Especially when it permanently fucks you up and ruins your ability to interact with others

 

[Rational man]

You make an important distinction, that we do not choose our famiy so I could have written this because it happened to me. The abuse, theft, bullying, neglect was part of my journey until I disowned them. Some families believe their behaviour is normal but in reality, they are reflecting their own pain and dysfunctional thoughts on others. I think my parents were abused too by their parents, neither could show feeings of love. Despite this I empowered myself to forgive them not for their benefit but to help me move on as best I could. Regrettably, I carry the scars, like so many kids until I leave this world.

 

[FireFox]

Its the absolute worst. Sexually abused by a sibling. Physically abused by my mother. And I guess technically emotionally abused by my father. You can't choose your family. It sucks. Especially when it permanently fucks you up and ruins your ability to interact with others

@hermestrimegistus Sending lots of love to you.

You deserved so much better and more. All my life I have been looking out for my little sister because she suffers from a chronic delibating illness since birth. It makes me so sad hearing people abuse their siblings. I believe how a person looks after a sibling reveals their true character. If an individual violates and abuses their siblings then such an individual is pure evil and incapable of love. For me as time has gone on I truly believe being an elder sibling is a real gift it has finally taught me to love and care for another person apart from my self

Family members who abuse other family members deserve absolutely everything they get,. These arseholes deserve no peace whatsoever in life and shouldn't be allowed to die peacefully in old age.

I believe terminally ill abusers should be banned from getting euthanasia because a peaceful death is far too good for them. Abusers should suffer till the very end of their lives just like the victim has been suffering.

You make an important distinction, that we do not choose our famiy so I could have written this because it happened to me. The abuse, theft, bullying, neglect was part of my journey until I disowned them. Some families believe their behaviour is normal but in reality, they are reflecting their own pain and dysfunctional thoughts on others. I think my parents were abused too by their parents, neither could show feeings of love. Despite this I empowered myself to forgive them not for their benefit but to help me move on as best I could. Regrettably, I carry the scars, like so many kids until I leave this world.

@Rational man I have really tried with my relatives god knows I have fucking tried. I am always nice and respectful to everyone in my family but still my relatives can not do the same for me. My relatives are not only leeches they are fucking evil, pure evil and its worst realising how evil your own family is.

I have done nothing wrong to family members but still they hate me all because my family made it to the western world and they didn't. The relatives in poverty on mum side of the family are even jealous of the fact I graduated from university while their own kids and grandchildren got pregnant as teens with multiple children and never finished school while the wealthy relatives do not even live in reality.

My own relatives even wanted me to be abused and almost were successful in organising the abuse. As a teenager my relatives thought I was a freak that needed "fixing" all because I had a habit of talking to myself which i have grown out of in my mid20s. I, I like to comment on things I see and I tend to see things more deeply,. These relatives gossiped about how I was crazy and tried to get me fixed by sending me to witchdoctor even organising appointments behind my back ntil my own family had to intervene as they were furious this was done without their consulting.

I knew someone who went to witch doctor in an African country because thier relatives got their way. The entire experience permanently messed up the poor woman mentally. The woman when she went she was never the same person again. It is scary to witness how the whole thing fucked her up. This is what my piece of shit relatives wanted for me. People do get abused in witch doctor sessions, others come back with other kinds of psychological trauma because of the methods these witch doctors use during the experience.

Male relatives who do rape, sexually abusing kids, domestic violence they DO NOT sent to witchdoctor for fixing buy my relatives believe I need "fixing"

This year my arsehole relatives have finally taken the abuse and leeching too far I am now serious about cutting ties. The arseholes have overdone it this time

Family abuse can definitely be the worse. It's not only something you've never had the choice to choose for yourself, especially what family you fall into but It can also be just so hard to get out of and can make the torture, pain and trauma last even longer and sometimes you can never seem to get out of it. Why does life have to be so complicated and cruel at times? My heart does go out to you.

@February My family have the audacity to say all the abuse they arsehole relatives carry is "part of God's Plan."

A good God would have given me loving relatives and not this piece of shit relatives called a family.

Family abuse can definitely be the worse. It's not only something you've never had the choice to choose for yourself, especially what family you fall into but It can also be just so hard to get out of and can make the torture, pain and trauma last even longer and sometimes you can never seem to get out of it. Why does life have to be so complicated and cruel at times? My heart does go out to you.

@February My family have the audacity to say all the abuse they arsehole relatives carry is "part of God's Plan."

A good God would have given me loving relatives and not this piece of shit relatives called a family.

 

[silentnights56]

Family abuse is the worst cruelty because we never chose our families we are born into just like we never chose to be born in this awful shitty world. Our families chose us our existence is because our families chose to have us. As I grow older I am actually ashamed of my own relatives because they are emotionally abusive arseholes who live off other relatives money and goodwill and have absolutely no remorse for the suffering they continue to bring others. These people will never change. I am always nice to my relatives on my grandmothers side of the family still they absolutely hate me all because I have achieved more with my life going to university and not getting pregnant compared to their kids and grandchildren who all got pregnant, didn't finish school and live in poverty.

I am from an Immigrant family and in my family's culture ( African) family is an enormous deal and in my family's culture people who live in the western countries send money back home overseas to help relatives who are struggling.

I had a massive row with my religious grandmother and expressed my pure resentment over her along with my mother sending money overseas to help these ungrateful relatives throughout the years because our family is poorer because of it and I ended up getting left behind. My grandmother said the bible says "you must help" and "forgive". I told my grandmother a good God would have given us a better family relatives and not these evil shameless people called relatives who just continue to bring suffering to other people and refuse to take responsibility for their actions. I told my grandmother I never asked to be born into this family and now I am suffering because of these arsehole relatives.

Incredibly sad but true. Which is why I am personally an antinatalist (who is resigned and comfortable staying in the comfort zone and interacting with like-minded people). Repect activist a great deal, but the endeavour seem quite pointless to me because majority of the world would never see it from our perspective.

 

[lightnings]

Family abuse can definitely be the worse. It's not only something you've never had the choice to choose for yourself, especially what family you fall into but It can also be just so hard to get out of and can make the torture, pain and trauma last even longer and sometimes you can never seem to get out of it. Why does life have to be so complicated and cruel at times? My heart does go out to you.

And indeed without years of therapy, traumas will follow you even miles far away from them.
One of the reasons I want to CTB, after returing to their hellish place and losing hope.

 

[tinyghost]

the worst part is that its like my brain is hardwired to love them but i can't get past the fear of them. maybe i tell myself its love but i'm just scared. and people always expect you to forgive them and go back to them. it makes it so hard to escape even as an adult.