About to CTB, but my bestfriend’s granfather just did it last saturday

[kiwipanda]

Hi all,

I've been fighting with my feeling and depression over the last 3 years. I did some failed attempts of ending with my life in 2020 and now I'm back feeling like I don't have a place in this world.

My family tries to help me, but they can't… I have a nice family and no economical issues, but I can't remember last time I felt happy. My friends are so superficial and I don't have anyone to hug, or vent when I'm feeling bad.

My bestfriend's granfather passed away last saturday night due to a massive OD. Now my friends is refusing my support as he knows that I tried the same 2 weeks ago. This is broking me even more, the only person I realy love (on top of my mother) can't support me and he refuses my support…


I am really broken right now, trying to decide if I should OD with propranolol to pass away so he can pass both berevements together or try to do a last effort to become stronger to support him.

In regards of my planned method, I have unlimited access to propranolol, so I plan to take 8g before going to the bed sooner than later. No one will realice at least for the first 12 hours, time enough I guess to pass away.


Any thoughts?

 

[mortuarymary]

Stick around. Your friend is grieving. Losing you too could be too much

 

[rozeske]

Hi welcome, you are new so I would suggest you think your method through as oding rarely works and may leave you with permanent damage. Take your time and first do your research, there is a lot of information here. As for your friend, from what you wrote you seem in a good circumstance and doesn't seem like you are in a rush to leave. Your friend could benefit if you stick around through their grief. But only you know your situation best and if that is worth sticking around for. I wish you all the best in your decisions

 

[cosmic_traveler]

Hi all,

I've been fighting with my feeling and depression over the last 3 years. I did some failed attempts of ending with my life in 2020 and now I'm back feeling like I don't have a place in this world.

My family tries to help me, but they can't… I have a nice family and no economical issues, but I can't remember last time I felt happy. My friends are so superficial and I don't have anyone to hug, or vent when I'm feeling bad.

My bestfriend's granfather passed away last saturday night due to a massive OD. Now my friends is refusing my support as he knows that I tried the same 2 weeks ago. This is broking me even more, the only person I realy love (on top of my mother) can't support me and he refuses my support…


I am really broken right now, trying to decide if I should OD with propranolol to pass away so he can pass both berevements together or try to do a last effort to become stronger to support him.

In regards of my planned method, I have unlimited access to propranolol, so I plan to take 8g before going to the bed sooner than later. No one will realice at least for the first 12 hours, time enough I guess to pass away.


Any thoughts?

I'm sorry you're in so much pain. You are the master of your own destiny. We wish you peace. Big hugs. Be well on your journey.