Venting Abandonment by friends after failed attempt

[Moon Flower]

One of my friends called me selfish for even thinking about it and blocked me
Another who knew of my plans told me "I knew you weren't going to do it, you don't have it in you" and hasn't said much to me since
Next time for sure

 

[Darkhaven]

These people aren't really your friends.

 

[MeltingHeart]

One of my friends called me selfish for even thinking about it and blocked me
Another who knew of my plans told me "I knew you weren't going to do it, you don't have it in you" and hasn't said much to me since
Next time for sure

not nice!

 

[Jengator]

It wasn't hard for me to see who the narcissists were in my life when I no longer became useful to them. You're better off without them.

 

[woxihuanni]

Fuck them so much, they are not friends. SS is here for you if it gets lonely.

On the bright side, it is always a favour when trash takes itself out. And being suicidal is an excellent trigger for trash to to take itself out.

 

[Jean4]

No worries. You always have us. We don't judge :)

 

[Asta]

Perhaps it's not a good idea to tell anyone at all about your plans either before or after an attempt - only your friends here.

 

[metalchic_74]

I lost most of my friends too. There is a major stigma with mental illness a lot of people don't understand unless they have been through it themselves. I'm so sick of people saying it's selfish to ctb. Well until they walk in your shoes they can all just F off!!

 

[Wreck-it-Riley]

These kind of people want what you give them, not you. True friends respond with concern, like your S/O, fake friends respond with upset.

 

[WhiteDespair]

Ironic, that isolation increases CtB and CtB increases isolation.

 

[Winter_Flower]

I'm 40 and had known someone since our first day of school. So 36 years. We had been through everything together but my mental health she didn't understand. Didn't understand why I'd want to self harm. Didn't understand that withdrawal off my mood stabiliser was shear hell, took three months to come off it and another three months to start a new one. She gave up on me exactly a year ago this week. Being so close to someone for so long and it end up like that is horrible. Another reason to climb the next step to ctb. It gets very lonely x

 

[OreoWellington]

I truly understand how you feel....
This happened to me just recently and I hadn't even actually mentioned any actual suicide plans (even though I would go on to develop them and begin to acquire supplies). I am a recurrent, chronic sufferer and perhaps there is something about recurrent and chronic they don't understand? It's like the feeling of being kicked and gutted while you are already down to begin with.

 

[Reyki6667]

Unconsciously they know that you would kill yourself, so to clean their hands of yourself and possible outcome of grief, they selfishly blocked you.
Not really friend to begin with.
Friends are meant to share your bitter and good moments together.

 

[BrokenAngel8]

I'm sorry you have to go through this. I would say that true friend might not always understand, but they won't ditch you either. They might be confused, they might forcing toxic positivity on you, and if you're lucky that they're mature enough, they would learn more about your issue and try their best to keep you safe without harsh judgments. Surely there would be time when they have issues themselves, and might temporarily distant themselves from you, but NEVER ditch you and turn their backs on you. (Then again, even if they are true friends, talking about your ctb plan with them would only make it harder to execute because often times than not, they would put extra eyes on you...)

I hope you find a little ease on your loneliness here in SS. You can also vent about your ctb here, and make sure if you choose to do it, you do it with proper research and not by impulse. Regarding friendship, or any relationship in general, I personally stick with the idea of: Those who matters don't mind and those who mind, don't matter. We don't mind. You have us. Hugs xx

 

[NotForThisWorld]

These people that have abandoned you aren't really your friends. No true friend would abandon you knowing what you're going through.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

One of my friends called me selfish for even thinking about it and blocked me
Another who knew of my plans told me "I knew you weren't going to do it, you don't have it in you" and hasn't said much to me since
Next time for sure

Humans. Nothing we do, no matter how awful, surprises me anymore. Very sorry you've been treated this way.

 

[Edward1]

Not that I'm defending your friends in any way but 'normal people' don't get it (death) and are afraid of it. It's a taboo subject that they would much prefer to run away from. It's because people know death is inevitable but are too terrified of it to contemplate. So when it comes to dealing with a friend who has thoughts of, or tried ctb they are totally and utterly lost as to the type of response they should give. And, of course, their thoughts are conflicted. The phrase 'selfish' is an interesting one because I think it's meant on different levels. I think it's them being selfish, not the other way around. They are just looking in the mirror but reflecting it back on you. They are too selfish to contemplate the thought of helping you because it's too much like hard work, and it would open the 'death box' they've worked so hard to convince themselves doesn't exist.

 

[noctiva]

I'm sorry to hear your pain @lunarpoppies420. I don't know if I can agree with the people in this thread that your friends behaviour means that your friends aren't real friends or don't love you. Only you can, based on your precious experience with them, say if they feel like real friends or not, based on other actions in other situations. In my own experience, suicide is a very tough nut to swallow for people that have never thought of suicide themselves or have attempted, got scared and abandoned any attempt from then on, basically those people that had their one attempt, got saved and have since then embraced life differently (became a specific flavour of pro-lifers, so to say).
If you, based on their previous actions, think that they are real friends, consider that they are struggling with your attempt as much as you do. You are emotionally ready to go, but they aren't emotionally ready to let you go. I know you need their support over your failed attempt to cope, but maybe they also need your support, to deal with almost losing you.

I told my one real life friend that I want to CtB. We are very close. She attempted suicide herself twice, and went through a very tough time a few years back, talking to me about her method and where she would like to CtB and when and why. So I felt confident I can confide in her as well. I was wrong. She panicked, she made a bit of a mess, but it's okay. She had made her own peace with dying, but she had never made her peace with others she loves dying. These are two very different things.

Please be gentle with yourself on your journey, you deserve it.

 

[Haku]

It's sad that people who are supposed to be there for you no matter what, treated you with such unkindness, its distasteful. You do not need them @lunarpoppies420 , they are no friend to you if that's how they treat you. I know we do not talk much, but I hope you can see me as your friend, I would never put you down. No matter what choice you make, that's your decision, and no one has the right to judge you for doing what you feel is right.

 

[Soul]

@lunarpoppies420, I'm sorry people you thought of as friends are being so harsh with you. I suppose it's possible that the one who's blocked you is shocked and scared and doesn't know how to respond; people's first reactions when we're scared and confused are often not our best responses. The other one just sounds like an assbutt.

Either way, I'm sorry they've hurt you. Please try to be good to yourself - hydrate, get fresh air and enough sleep and eat right. I wish you good choices and good friends. (((Hugs)))

 

[puppy9]

One of my friends called me selfish for even thinking about it and blocked me.

Ironic

 

[Nem]

Sorry to hear. Exactly the same thing happened to me, two friends stopped talking to me and my ex broke up with me the next day.
Peace/hugs

 

[837]

Say this back to them: If you are my real friends then why didn't you care about the reasons I felt suicidal? Arent friends supposed to care about each other?
Sorry they said this. Non suicidal people just don't get it. Hell even suicide hotlines. It is frustrating. This will help you find if they are real friends.

 

[Nem]

Say this back to them: If you are my real friends then why didn't you care about the reasons I felt suicidal? Arent friends supposed to care about each other?
Sorry they said this. Non suicidal people just don't get it. Hell even suicide hotlines. It is frustrating. This will help you find if they are real friends.

My shit hole friends knew about my situation and even one of them said they would kill themselves if this happened to them. Pretty hypocritical
Peace/hugs

 

[837]

My shit hole friends knew about my situation and even one of them said they would kill themselves if this happened to them. Pretty hypocritical
Peace/hugs

Holy that's manipulative I'm sorry. This is largely the reason why I haven't told anyone that I am suicidal. People freak out when they are happy to ignore me in the first place being a background character.

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

Love you, S. Your situation was not ideal and it wasn't your fault at all.

You'd been intervened. But I can't lie... It's nice to see you here for a little longer. Love you bunches, hon. x

PS; Those friends can suck my ass.

 

[charlie_z]

Ironic, that isolation increases CtB and CtB increases isolation.

Well said.