Venting A year of not looking at the forums

[ThatSnakeParent]

Hey all! I've not been on here in a year because I wanted to give myself a fair chance at living and improving. In that year however I got a job and almost went to uni (long story). During this year though, I've realised nothing has improved, last night I went to a works party with my other half. He's very hyper sexual and is being investigated as he's been accused of touching a young child inappropriately. Last night he got me extremely drunk and did it on purpose as "it's fun". He did it on purpose so I'd sleep with him. He bought a hotel room and tried to get me to go with him, if it wasn't for my boss I would have gone with him and we were at his hotel room door. He tried to get me as drunk as possible so I'd sleep with him and told me I owed him for all the drinks he bought for me. I'm sick to death of being wanted for my body to the point where I've SH on certain parts of it to look uglier so no one will want me for my body. He's constantly calling me fat amongst other degrading names and he's always joking about the previous abuse I've suffered. I don't know what to do anymore and I feel like everything is a bit pointless. Sorry for the vent :/

 

[Jean Améry]

Don't be sorry for speaking your mind.

Good for you that you've made an honest effort to improve your circumstances which is probably not easy to do for someone who ended up here and in all likelihood suffered great trauma. Getting and keeping a job is a huge step.

Your companion (whatever he is to you: 'other half' generally implies marriage) sounds like someone that drags you down and makes you question your efforts and gains in the last year. If he's disrespectful and using you I think you should get rid of him. Life's too short to waste with people who aren't good for you and don't respect you.

I suspect things will become much clearer if you distance yourself from this man.

I wouldn't give in to temporary ennui and despair. Certainly not in the circumstances you're describing.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

It sounds like you've made a real effort and should be applauded for that.
It's not my business and I may be wrong but if I may be frank, your other half sounds like you'd be better off without him.
I know it can be complicated and often not that easy though. Still he's not helping and you deserve better especially if you make so much effort.

 

[Backwood_tilt]

You have an abusive partner. You may have had other abusive partners in the past, you may not have, but none of the behaviour you are describing should be normalized in any healthy behaviour. In addition, your partner is potentially a child sexual predator.

On average it takes ~6 times for someone to leave an abusive relationship. So try not to be discouraged if you make plans and things don't work out right away.

But you should definitely start making plans to do something else with your life, because if you want to stay off of this website i think the first thing you need to do is get away from your abusive partner.

 

[Sadddd]

Agreed with everyone, partner doesn't sound like a help to you

 

[HopeDiesLast]

@RemoveMePlease, how old are you, and how long have you been with this person? Are you married to him?

 

[Kirbster]

God, your situation sounds terrible. I'm so sorry for what you're going through. The only reckless advice I can give you would be to leave it all behind and start over again. If you've been trying something and it's not working...that means it's time for a change. Death can also be that change, but maybe it isn't necessary so long as you find a partner that isn't a dickhole and establish satisfying relationships with others.
Either way, I wish you the best of luck.

 

[squirtsoda]

That's 100% unacceptable behavior out of your partner. Do you feel like you're able to move on from him? Do you live with him or are you on your own? I really hope you can find a way to improve your situation, because you seem like you were making some headway before things went south. It sounds like you have the potential to change things.