ctb★prince

ctb★prince

villain otd
Jul 7, 2023
110
i feel like i keep having the smallest of issues and keep being hurt by them more than i should, but each time something doesnt go right im getting closer to just giving the fuck up, this time ot turned out that my art isnt worth as much as i thought and got humbled really bad, i was afraid of opening commissions up since i can remember, tried like once or twice before and got one order from the same person each time, but that was alright, i had no audience, i didnt care much, but this time i wanted to try something serious, even if its small, and despite overall support noone is interested, i got the price as low as i could, so i wouldnt feel bad, and because artmaking is genuinely just fun for me, and wanted to use the money to buy presents for others, but i think i should try looking for something else to do after all, even if its too late for me
i never really payed much mind to artists and small business owners posting these guilt trippy posts about their work not getting much recognition, but now its really getting to me, we're entering an era where artists arent valued as much, ai is taking over no matter how much we fight back, people are starting to attack artists for creating for money instead of pure joy out of it, creators are begging people to buy their work, i feel like this combined with my queernes and everything thats been going on around the world really fucks with me hard, first they want me to give up my entire identity, then they want me to abandon my passion, i really dont know which direction life wants me to go at this point, i dont have the strenght to go on and fight against inconveniences that are this big, i just want the world to stop for a minute, i dont want to end with myself, i dont want to give up, i want to go on, but i cant do it, im getting weaker and weaker, the only thing that seems to keep me going is hate and anger, because i cant seem to enjoy things anymore, this isnt a world worth living in, i want to start over so badly, i just want to be happy, its just unfair, it doesnt make any sense to me, i just dont get it, sorry for rambling
 
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