A video terrified me

[dust-in-the-wind]

I found a video on you tube where patients are dying in a hospice. It showed them right until their dying gasping last breath. It was the most real and raw video I have ever seen online of the natural dying process. I found the video terrifying. I immensely fear old age and any type of serious illness. I know it's going to happen eventually, that is why I need to cbt so I can be in control of my destiny. Can anyone relate to this fear of dying a natural death? It fuels my anxiety and depression. I shouldn't have watched it but it was like a car crash you can't look away from.

 

[Gangrel]

My grandma died of cancer at 88 years old, i saw her die. While of course her illness made her incredibly weak and have pain, she died in a rather peaceful way. She was sitting on the bed and gave a heavy breath, opened her mouth and fell on her back. It felt like watching her organs literally shut down in front of me. It felt VERY peaceful in my experience.

I'm really not trying to invalidate your experiences, but your fear of it could have heightened the complex nature of the situation.

Sadly our bodies are machines with no power off button. We are designed to function our entire lives, we simply go into sleeping mode for a few hours. If you can't disable a machine that has no power off button then there is only two solutions: entropy or destruction. Both rather cruel in my opinion, but undoubtedly with pros and cons each. It's a big dilema, personally both is awful and just really depends on how your life is going.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

Thank you for responding. I'm glad your grandma went peacefully. In the video all had the death rattle breathing with their mouths wide open for quite some time before they passed. One of the younger men had a horrible death, gasping loudly for days. They really need to euthanize people by this point. No one wants to see it. It's traumatic for the family.

 

[J&L383]

I found a video on you tube where patients are dying in a hospice. It showed them right until their dying gasping last breath. It was the most real and raw video I have ever seen online of the natural dying process. I found the video terrifying. I immensely fear old age and any type of serious illness. I know it's going to happen eventually, that is why I need to cbt so I can be in control of my destiny. Can anyone relate to this fear of dying a natural death? It fuels my anxiety and depression. I shouldn't have watched it but it was like a car crash you can't look away from.

"Natural" deaths aren't always like that. My mother died at home with some caretakers in attendance and she was quite comfortable up until the last couple hours. But as you saw it can be difficult and prolonged. Or you might die quickly in a heart attack or stroke, or accident. Painful for awhile, though.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Videos of people dying are terrifying tbh. I saw a video of someone using the night night method and that was horrifying to watch, as well as other videos of the same nature.

What's debatably worse are the comments of those videos mocking the people dying.

 

[soonnotkoei]

its somewhat easy for me to watch people die by a gun or by jumping since its an instant death. but those of people suffering, their screams of regret, it's painful to watch. there was this one specific video of a guy jumping from his window and his mother witnessing it in pure shock and grief. horrible vid.

 

[reversebandaid]

I've only seen one person die and they didn't seem aware of anything around them at that point. They just breathed slowly and it eventually stopped. It didn't seem painful or anything too horrible. If your scared of natural death you could always ctb in very old age or if you get sick. There's no rush or anything to fear immediately. I'm also scared of stuff so I get that probably doesn't help.

 

[danny10]

I can totally relate. I used to watch gore videos when I was young and I think those videos are horrible, scarred me for life. Death is always horrible in my opinion, it doesn't matter if you die at 40 years or 88. The process of dying what terrifies me. That's why I prefer CTB with SN. Yes, you probably suffer for 40 minutes or so but at least it's over rather painlessly.

 

[Gustav Hartmann]

This video is a shame, because dying is a very private affair. Me and my mother were with my father when he died at home. We were at his side for hours and just when we both left the room he did his last breath. My impression is, dying people steal away when nobody is looking.

 

[bluehawk]

I was 15 when I first saw death, i came home from school went to my bedroom to place down my backpack and heard my father say from my parents bedroom "oh my son is home, my son is home"

I walked into their bedroom and asked my mother how is he doing, and she replied hes doing ok. Then I saw my father slightly gasping for air not struggling just slight heavy breathing and then I saw him pass. After that I dont fear death, I just wish that my passing to be instant and swift just like his was. Honestly I dont know how I lived this long as my father passed when he was 45 and I am now in my mid 50s.

last night and tonight while sitting outside staring up into the night stars, I looked up at some of the brightest stars and down deep inside I was just wishing to be absorbed back into the great vastness of energy back into those stars above or beyond.

 

[L'absent]

I can tell you that unfortunately reality can be even harsher than imagined. What I witnessed in some hospitals in Africa is that these people were treated, but still suffered from excruciating pain, and the painkillers administered no longer had any effect. I saw people dying from terrible diseases or untreated infections, with extreme wasting and agony. However, these things don't only happen in distant places but also in our hospitals, even though they are often kept from the public eye, as they would tarnish the "pro-life" image of the gift of life. The truth is, we are all subject to a myriad of similar situations.

I myself have had friends who died from a simple colonoscopy, others who were left paralyzed from seemingly trivial back surgeries. I knew a man who took his wife to the mountains, and a small stone fell on her head, leaving her paralyzed in bed. And these aren't even the most extreme cases. Worse things can happen at any moment in life, without needing to reach old age. Even falling off a motorcycle, down the stairs, or simply hanging a picture in your home can be fatal.
I also remember the cousin of a friend of mine, a girl who was under 15, who became ill with brain cancer. In the end, no treatment helped. She became obese, and her skin began to peel away from her body due to the excruciating pain, with no way to ease it. And this isn't a rarity. Existence is always frightening, and death and suffering can arrive at any time, without warning.
What I'm trying to say is that natural death, the one we fear so much, is not the only form of suffering. Sometimes, even the path toward that death is an agony we can't even begin to imagine. And, unfortunately, we are never truly safe from what life can throw at us.
Obviously, a premature death is preferable to waiting for all these things to happen at any moment. Something might also happen that prevents you from having a premature death, and then you'll have to adapt to a terrible condition, in which you'll have to live without being able to decide for yourself, because others will decide how much you should suffer, how long you should live, and how your life will end. What could be more frightening?

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yes, definitely. Not even the actual dying process itself. Just the thought of having to be in a home or dependent on others for care really troubles me. Partly because I know I can't afford it! But, I love my independence and I hate being reliant on others.

Definitely though, a drawn out death seems horrifying to me. I'm hoping keeping the prospects of either of the above will make me realise that if I'm lucky enough to have a successful attempt, suicide will still be unpleasant- no doubt but, it will at least (hopefully) be quicker and with a whole lot less suffering on the run up.

I don't even want to experience things like arthritus. It's so stupid to prolongue human bodies when they're 'planned obsolescene' starts showing up. That's not to say we should all be culled off at a certain point! But, people shouldn't be forced either way.

 

[L'absent]

Yes, definitely. Not even the actual dying process itself. Just the thought of having to be in a home or dependent on others for care really troubles me. Partly because I know I can't afford it! But, I love my independence and I hate being reliant on others.

Definitely though, a drawn out death seems horrifying to me. I'm hoping keeping the prospects of either of the above will make me realise that if I'm lucky enough to have a successful attempt, suicide will still be unpleasant- no doubt but, it will at least (hopefully) be quicker and with a whole lot less suffering on the run up.

I don't even want to experience things like arthritus. It's so stupid to prolongue human bodies when they're 'planned obsolescene' starts showing up. That's not to say we should all be culled off at a certain point! But, people shouldn't be forced either way.

I agree. If a person wants to live 200 years in such conditions, they are completely free to do so. however, no one can prevent those who have no intention of living in those conditions from continuing to do so compulsorily.

 

[VoidAetherium]

A couple of days ago and so as many times ago i use to pass to a house where there is a old lady sitting in a wheelchair looking at the surroundings as someone who couldn't understand what or why is there. No one was with her. The parents sound like to left her there at the front house like some attraction for others to see while they stay inside and copulate their own disgust sensations of living. i never asked her mental illness but surely sound like Alzheimer. And this wasn't the first. Many times walking at street and seeing other old people getting old and looking like on the same zombified vegetative state where could no longer had the will to do something. This view of the impregnated future, is the view i don't want to wish to be ended up to because right then where you had your inside screaming to end but outside forgotten on the miserable and mental sense. My last dog end his last months of living on a walking deteriorating state. He was abused by my parent on food issues and had turned fat with atrosis walking at home while keeping being absorb by meds to stay alive. "i give him meds so i was doing the right thing", he said while the right thing was making him suffering countless times trying to sleep and walk everytime. In the end he opt to euthana but was done very later one where he was on a worse situation. I'm on my 30s now and feels like a terrifying countdown to do something while the cursing time is on my side. And one can't never know what problem could hit earlier. Always this damn unexpected could hit things earlier and every fucking new year i surely regreat being alive because i know deep inside it will be worse then the other and something bad may happen that will make my mental state degree even more.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

Videos of people dying are terrifying tbh. I saw a video of someone using the night night method and that was horrifying to watch, as well as other videos of the same nature.

What's debatably worse are the comments of those videos mocking the people dying.

I won't watch any cbt videos. That would seriously disturb me. But the video I was watching was more educational on hospice and the dying process. No one mocking the patients in the comments.

I can tell you that unfortunately reality can be even harsher than imagined. What I witnessed in some hospitals in Africa is that these people were treated, but still suffered from excruciating pain, and the painkillers administered no longer had any effect. I saw people dying from terrible diseases or untreated infections, with extreme wasting and agony. However, these things don't only happen in distant places but also in our hospitals, even though they are often kept from the public eye, as they would tarnish the "pro-life" image of the gift of life. The truth is, we are all subject to a myriad of similar situations.

I myself have had friends who died from a simple colonoscopy, others who were left paralyzed from seemingly trivial back surgeries. I knew a man who took his wife to the mountains, and a small stone fell on her head, leaving her paralyzed in bed. And these aren't even the most extreme cases. Worse things can happen at any moment in life, without needing to reach old age. Even falling off a motorcycle, down the stairs, or simply hanging a picture in your home can be fatal.
I also remember the cousin of a friend of mine, a girl who was under 15, who became ill with brain cancer. In the end, no treatment helped. She became obese, and her skin began to peel away from her body due to the excruciating pain, with no way to ease it. And this isn't a rarity. Existence is always frightening, and death and suffering can arrive at any time, without warning.
What I'm trying to say is that natural death, the one we fear so much, is not the only form of suffering. Sometimes, even the path toward that death is an agony we can't even begin to imagine. And, unfortunately, we are never truly safe from what life can throw at us.
Obviously, a premature death is preferable to waiting for all these things to happen at any moment. Something might also happen that prevents you from having a premature death, and then you'll have to adapt to a terrible condition, in which you'll have to live without being able to decide for yourself, because others will decide how much you should suffer, how long you should live, and how your life will end. What could be more frightening?

Videos of people dying are terrifying tbh. I saw a video of someone using the night night method and that was horrifying to watch, as well as other videos of the same nature.

What's debatably worse are the comments of those videos mocking the people dying.

I've only seen one person die and they didn't seem aware of anything around them at that point. They just breathed slowly and it eventually stopped. It didn't seem painful or anything too horrible. If your scared of natural death you could always ctb in very old age or if you get sick. There's no rush or anything to fear immediately. I'm also scared of stuff so I get that probably doesn't help.

If don't cbt first and get sick or old age, I am just going to do VSED to get it over with asap.

I've only seen one person die and they didn't seem aware of anything around them at that point. They just breathed slowly and it eventually stopped. It didn't seem painful or anything too horrible. If your scared of natural death you could always ctb in very old age or if you get sick. There's no rush or anything to fear immediately. I'm also scared of stuff so I get that probably doesn't help.

If don't cbt first and get sick or old age, I am just going to do VSED to get it over with asap.

 

[divinemistress36]

Most Hospice nurses report people dying pretty peacefully then again most are doped up on Morphine to make the dying the process easier

 

[neonzebra]

I watched my mother die slowly over the course of a week. She had cancer which ruined her immune system and infections in her body were uncontrollable so they stopped treating her and let her body start to die.
We stayed in the hospital because the hospice was in a weird location and she said she didn't want to have to go through the hassle of travelling there.
Seeing someone slowly die is horrific, especially someone you love. I think I have PTSD from it. I wish we had gone to hospice or she had been able to come home because she may have had a chance to be given more morphine and had more dedicated end of life nurses around rather than the regular ward nurses already run off their feet.

Anyway. She slowly lost control of her body completely over the course of a week til she was just lying unable to move and just making the worst noises for days and nights on end. She had various drugs going in but who knows how much she was suffering. Her body was racked with horrific infections. Her last breaths were some of the most peaceful sounding but the whole process was devastating.

I would much rather die by ANY means rather than that.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

Most Hospice nurses report people dying pretty peacefully then again most are doped up on Morphine to make the dying the process easier

They may have been at peace. But to an outsider it looks disturbing. I don't want anyone seeing me look like that. I guess I'm vain even in death lol

 

[divinemistress36]

They may have been at peace. But to an outsider it looks disturbing. I don't want anyone seeing me look like that. I guess I'm vain even in death lol

me to another reason I wouldnt use a gun. I wonder if theres a death rattle with Sn?

 

[Richard Langford]

I watched my mother die slowly over the course of a week. She had cancer which ruined her immune system and infections in her body were uncontrollable so they stopped treating her and let her body start to die.
We stayed in the hospital because the hospice was in a weird location and she said she didn't want to have to go through the hassle of travelling there.
Seeing someone slowly die is horrific, especially someone you love. I think I have PTSD from it. I wish we had gone to hospice or she had been able to come home because she may have had a chance to be given more morphine and had more dedicated end of life nurses around rather than the regular ward nurses already run off their feet.

Anyway. She slowly lost control of her body completely over the course of a week til she was just lying unable to move and just making the worst noises for days and nights on end. She had various drugs going in but who knows how much she was suffering. Her body was racked with horrific infections. Her last breaths were some of the most peaceful sounding but the whole process was devastating.

I would much rather die by ANY means rather than that.

I'm dreadfully sorry she had to go through that. I've had a immediate relative pass in Hsptl after an 8 week stay. It's harrowing. I'll never get past it

 

[KillingPain267]

Yeah, a study showed that 80% of people dying from "natural causes" in old age is a long drawn out process and not peaceful or painless. So for most of people, a slow death is inevitable. It will come eventually no matter how pro-life they always were.

 

[Forveleth]

By the time people get to the point where their breathing is slowed and they are laying there mouth open, they are no longer conscious. It looks terrible to us watching, but the person is, for all intents and purposes, already gone. I take solace in this knowledge and it has taken most of the fear out of a "natural death" for me.

Plus if you are in that situation in a hospital, they usually have you hooked up to some pretty sweet drugs.

 

[WatchmeBurn]

I'm hoping that, if I live to be old, I'll be able to access assisted dying rather than having to circle the drain for years. In the Netherlands and Belgium they're moving in the right direction, and even here in the UK we're making the first steps now with the ongoing legalisation of assisted dying for those with terminal conditions and 6 months or less to live, so I am mildly optimistic. The more the population ages, the more demand there'll be for assisted dying, because the population as a whole will be sicker, more disabled, and will know more suffering.

It seems awful, death being so protracted and undignified.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

I can totally relate. I used to watch gore videos when I was young and I think those videos are horrible, scarred me for life. Death is always horrible in my opinion, it doesn't matter if you die at 40 years or 88. The process of dying what terrifies me. That's why I prefer CTB with SN. Yes, you probably suffer for 40 minutes or so but at least it's over rather painlessly.

Yeah from what it seems like, the worst part about SN is tachycardia and nausea, but it only lasts 45 minutes or so, and that time frame with minor discomfort sounds better than over a minute of extreme discomfort or pain.

 

[LukaParrot]

When I was researching about SN, I found a article with photos and about their cadaveric state. It was really disturbing.

I had to burry my dad, he was only 67 yo, I can still remember helping to hold him with a funeral assistant and putting him in a coffin. I felt the cold skin in his legs while my mother and sister was hugged and crying. I could see his eyes open, but didnt have more the bright, they were like misty.

I took a long time for me to recover.

 

[aac894]

Yes, my mom died of brain cancer when I was younger and I remember thinking WHY nobody helped put her to sleep like a dog, it made no sense, she was not even herself anymore and was suffering so much, watched her die too and it was awful. One of the reasons I am getting SN, even if my circumstances were to change in the near future (very unlikely), is that I would like to keep it as a backup in case I am ever diagnosed with something like that. My country is not friendly toward dying with dignity, unfortunately, and now I am almost the age my mom was when she got diagnosed. I think she (and I) lived enough, anyway. Anything over 40 is unnecessary overtime for some people...