The rationale part of me knows it's just anxiety, and it comes and goes in waves, but I'm dealing with something stressful lately and I keep spinning out of control and thinking that the worst is going to happen. It makes every minute painful. I know there are better things to focus on, but I just have the overwhelming sense of doom that leaves me unable to move. I also feel so totally untethered and with no one in my life. I have one person I have reconnected with as a friend, but otherwise I am isolated and I feel unable to handle it if/when something bad happens. I've been thinking a lot about ctb, but it's harder than it seems. I really wish fate would step in and take my life for me.
