A Ramble On Self Harm

[Anonymoususer1234]

This post goes out to people who haven't ever hurt themselves but are debating it.

I know a lot of people, including me before I started cutting, want some sort of physical proof that they're suffering. But the thing you don't realize when you're in that headspace is that once you harm yourself and it scars, that's it. The scar is forever.

While you might be okay with that other people will absolutely box you into the label of "mentally ill." I have been denied job opportunities on the bases of having scars, I've had people suddenly lose all trust in me once they found out about my self harm. The mainstream perception of self harm is that it's something only crazy people do. You will absolutely be impacted by that perception if you choose to hurt yourself.

Which brings me to my third point, you can't hide it forever. Eventually, if you see others regularly, someone is going to find out. Regardless of how careful you are, people pick up on these things.

Also, it's extremely difficult to quit. Cutting isn't just a habit you can drop whenever you feel like. The urge lingers constantly, even in the best of times. It's not just a matter of getting better coping mechanisms, ethier. Once you've started you can't go back.

I know it's the only option for many, but if you haven't started yet don't. If you want proof of your suffering just know that the fact you want to hurt yourself in the first place is proof enough.

I've been doing this shit for at least three years. It's not worth it.

 

[cami]

i agree, its such a slippery slope. it starts with just a few scratches, then a little deeper, then a bit more, then permanent damage and stitches and it's really hard to stop yourself from doing "more" to prove how bad you're hurting. you are sick enough and you don't need scars to prove it.

 

[EternalShore]

I'm sorry, dude. :( Hopefully, one day, you can be able to tell them it was a thing of the past~ hehe~ :)

 

[lokabe82]

This is beautifully said. I have always said that my arm looks like a bumpy gravel country road. I'm fairly certain that the amount of scars I have range from 100-200 on my left arm alone. Most times it doesn't bother me. My job requires short sleeves and it's so embarrassing that they are visible for everyone to see. Luckily no one has ever said anything about them and I have never seen anybody staring, yet I know they notice. You could probably see them from a mile away so who wouldn't notice them? This will be a part of me for the rest of my life. The skin on my wrist feels so paper thin that it constantly gets itchy and it feels as if I could tear it open with my fingernails. I started self harming when I was 10 or 11. All because my friend at the time wanted to try it but didn't want to do it alone. It can easily consume your life.

 

[Anonymoususer1234]

i agree, its such a slippery slope. it starts with just a few scratches, then a little deeper, then a bit more, then permanent damage and stitches and it's really hard to stop yourself from doing "more" to prove how bad you're hurting. you are sick enough and you don't need scars to prove it.

This is a great addition. I've had that exact experience. It didn't matter how deep I went or how badly I hurt myself, it never feels be 'bad enough'.

 

[chloramine]

It really can become more like a need. I was lucky in that I was terrified of people seeing from the start so I always chose methods that didn't leave marks, but that impulse still definitely exists at times.

I once encountered a website that had suggested alternativesbased on why you wanted to hurt yourself which I thought was a cool idea. For example if you really liked seeing the marks then thinks like markers or henna (which also allows you to pick it off and can be a tactile bonus). If the act of destruction was what drove it then doing the same thing but to paper. If it was a release of pent up emotion then exercise, screaming into a pillow, crying, etc. If it was the need to physically feel something then warm shower, holding ice, eating really spicy food, etc.

I just really liked the idea that looking at what specifically drew you to self harming could inform where to look for alternatives as opposed to a one size fits all approach.

 

[MidnightCat]

I've been free of self-harming for 7 years now.

I still miss it every F day.

If you think you can manage to go without doing it... Don't make the same mistake I did.

It's really addicting in a really weird way. And not a good one.

 

[Remeer]

It really can become more like a need. I was lucky in that I was terrified of people seeing from the start so I always chose methods that didn't leave marks, but that impulse still definitely exists at times.

I once encountered a website that had suggested alternativesbased on why you wanted to hurt yourself which I thought was a cool idea. For example if you really liked seeing the marks then thinks like markers or henna (which also allows you to pick it off and can be a tactile bonus). If the act of destruction was what drove it then doing the same thing but to paper. If it was a release of pent up emotion then exercise, screaming into a pillow, crying, etc. If it was the need to physically feel something then warm shower, holding ice, eating really spicy food, etc.

I just really liked the idea that looking at what specifically drew you to self harming could inform where to look for alternatives as opposed to a one size fits all approach.

how interesting your comment, I was going to ask why they were cut, but you gave an interesting general answer

It would be good to see the reason why they do that, for example smoking is supposed to be due to anxiety
finding other ways to release the internal is important, in my case I write and make spoken recordings of what happens to me, it has helped me a lot

I hope you are improving in your matter, keep in mind that since everything is a process and relapses are part of it
greetings