A poem about cbt and a note I hope he will never have to find again

[kitkatt]

I'll carry all your woe and burdens to me
I'll trudge forth till I'll reach my grave
A shallow hole dug to soon
I'll no longer fight to dull myself of the world for when I fall I want the earth to overtake me.
I shall not poison her essence as his poisons my mind
I shall lay you to rest with me
Within me
For I shall love all that you are not
For I've felt my once still heart thump in a word full of misery
I will lay you to rest with me even if I must pull heart this thumping from mine rib
I thought me wrong unlovable
But you saw me and even if I was to much for your own leaky vessel I'll shall hold you eternally in the depths
If I die when i die I shall crawl from hell for you if it is real
Because my mind knows what to do when there is naught
But you shall stay in every recess in my hearth
You dwell on my skin not because you were awful but because you were kind
Because I finally saw myself in one's soul and even after the life of a fool finally understood the world
I understand why poets died
They picked up swords for you
And if not you the world because I'd rather scream from the rooftops I love you before making change
I'll pick up my sword I'll go to war with this fucked up world and eventually I'll die
My own blade
For I am an author who cannot write my own story

I love you Mike i hope I lie to myself and find some secret purpose I've never found before. I hope you find it. I've never felt someone so patient and warm even if you were sharp at the end. I was broken because I was made to hold sharp things. But this is my last year it was before you it is after you. But after you I'll do my best to not hurt anyone else I won't date ill just visit I'll try to have a warriors death I'll fight for what is right as I always have and either it will kill me or I will. But I love you Mike and I hope you are never hurting enough to find this place. But I will write to here this is time because I have no where else. Because I've seen you in me. Even though I cannot remember I remember you actively I'll choose you. I'll bury your pain all of it with me someday in hope that you may be at peace even though I know it'll all be in vain. I know I can't procure peace for you or anyone but myself. Just know that when I go it was all thought out. I've wanted to die since I can consciously remember. So I hope you never find this place. I hope my undoing never reaches you. I'll give you whatever cosmic karma I have in hopes all my superstitious luck reaches you but only that I hope no other ripple of me in the universe ever touches you so that my undoing will not add to your pain.

 

[tonicer]

That poem is really good. I turned it into a song with suno maybe you like it too?!

Here's a link for a hard version: https://suno.com/s/eXuPcgXjnYGFmMVZ

This version is a bit softer: https://suno.com/s/eWSSzHE7MWkE7oNB

I know a lot of people hate AI but it gave me something to do and fiddle around with.

 

[kitkatt]

That poem is really good. I turned it into a song with suno maybe you like it too?!

Here's a link for a hard version: https://suno.com/s/eXuPcgXjnYGFmMVZ

This version is a bit softer: https://suno.com/s/eWSSzHE7MWkE7oNB

I know a lot of people hate AI but it gave me something to do and fiddle around with.

Thank you! Also I like the first one best! I have been learning how to do different screams maybe I'll get good enough to cover it myself lol

Ai may not be my favorite environmentally but I'm not here to judge anyone for coping! Listening to this also encouraged me to get up and clean up my room a bit so extra thank you:)

 

[tonicer]

Thank you! Also I like the first one best! I have been learning how to do different screams maybe I'll get good enough to cover it myself lol

Ai may not be my favorite environmentally but I'm not here to judge anyone for coping! Listening to this also encouraged me to get up and clean up my room a bit so extra thank you:)

You're welcome. If you want to learn screaming i can recommend this tutorial:

Yeah AI is basically wasting electricity but it makes my life a little bit happier so i think it's worth it.

 

[kitkatt]

You're welcome. If you want to learn screaming i can recommend this tutorial:

Yeah AI is basically wasting electricity but it makes my life a little bit happier so i think it's worth it.

This is a good tutorial thank you for sharing! Another good technique I've found is meowing like a creeky old kitty and meowing is already a vocal stim so if's been really helpful to find the right throat and mouth shape

Hey the earth is already on fire and none who can do anything big to stop it will. It's absolutely worth it if makes you happier. My roommate told me I did a good job for getting up and brushing my teeth today. I'll take all my wins