Venting A permanent solution to a temporary problem?

[orca87]

I have always felt disconnected and out of place.

I had periods where I managed to find social circles, friends, and relationships. All of that was temporary. It always came to the point that it all fell apart.

I tried from scratch so many times.

Mow, I have hit rock bottom more than ever. I will never be "normal".

So, the problem might seem of temporary nature for a third party. But that's just because no one knows my story. Because no one was on my journey for longer than one of these episodes.

It's a good time for ctb now. Why should I try again building relationships with strangers that might or might not become friends or partners? Only to fail again, only to do them wrong again? Why bother?

 

[JudasIscariot]

I feel this way too. I hate that bullshit saying. It's disgusting how professionals reiterate it constantly. I always say, stay away from cliches and acronyms. Both signs of something sinister, especially in the situation of a "treatment." I too feel I am very deformed and abnormal, never to fit in or be comfortable with anyone. A horrible curse. It is said that a symptom of certain disorders is an "enjoyment of solitude." But it's all we know! It's ridiculous. I'm sorry you feel this way.

 

[orca87]

enjoyment of solitude.

It's loneliness—there is no choice. I blame no one for not accepting me. In fact, people were nice to me. I am the one who always detaches without wanting it…

Here are my thoughts on loneliness vs solitude:

I don't see the point of living when you can't have any of the things you want and pain outweighs pleasure

I have had multiple people tell me over the course of several years tell me that I should continue to live even if I can never have any of the components which I deem necessary for having a happy and fulfilled life. Time and time again, I've been told to compromise any modicum of happiness...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[Lost in a Dream]

It just shows that some of our problems aren't actually temporary, unless we find a way to make them temporary ourselves. Lost friends and failed relationships are among the reasons I want to die too, and it's really hard when I miss what I used to have and wish I could have those days back.

Maybe if other people knew all that we have experienced, they would finally stop using this platitude against us. It's not like it's even a good argument against suicide anyway, since they're telling people the solution is permanent. That's what we want isn't it?

I can relate to always feeling out of place, like I don't belong anywhere. I'm sorry you're in a similar situation.

 

[orca87]

It just shows that some of our problems aren't actually temporary, unless we find a way to make them temporary ourselves. Lost friends and failed relationships are among the reasons I want to die too, and it's really hard when I miss what I used to have and wish I could have those days back.

Maybe if other people knew all that we have experienced, they would finally stop using this platitude against us. It's not like it's even a good argument against suicide anyway, since they're telling people the solution is permanent. That's what we want isn't it?

I can relate to always feeling out of place, like I don't belong anywhere. I'm sorry you're in a similar situation.

Yeah. I don't blame normal people for their platitudes. How could they know how it feels? I even myself didn't know. Because I always tried so hard and succeeded. It was just exhausting. Now I know the reason.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

They seriously want us to be decrepit 90-year-olds suffering from the same problems we had at 20 and will tell us it's only "temporary".

 

[Euthanza]

Still a solution though. Also there are far too many permanent problems in my life than temporary solutions anyone can suggest; Most of them always conflicted my finance, I know exactly they were made and presented the best of all kindness and qualifications only for the richest 1%

 

[HadItAll]

I had periods where I managed to find social circles, friends, and relationships. All of that was temporary. It always came to the point that it all fell apart.

Sounds normal. Most social circles, friend groups and relationships eventually fall apart.

Not to be that guy, but sounds like a permanent solution to a temporary problem to me.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

They seriously want us to be decrepit 90-year-olds suffering from the same problems we had at 20 and will tell us it's only "temporary".

Along with all of the new problems that came along in between 20 and 90. They expect us to just keep piling on the BS until we can't take it anymore and get mad when it breaks us. If only people would stop trying to "save us" and leave us alone.

 

[orca87]

Sounds normal. Most social circles, friend groups and relationships eventually fall apart.

Not to be that guy, but sounds like a permanent solution to a temporary problem to me.

Judging by your account name, you probably feel the same. Wanna DM?

 

[HadItAll]

Judging by your account name, you probably feel the same. Wanna DM?

Nah, I never wanted to ctb because of a friendship or relationship that ended, I think it's wrong, as it's not actually a part of you that you lost. Basically I was trying to say that I don't see the problems described in your post as a good reason to ctb.

I mostly want to ctb only because I have multiple chronic illnesses, and all the bad things I've caused to happen trying to live a normal life while being basically a cripple.

 

[JudasIscariot]

It's loneliness—there is no choice. I blame no one for not accepting me. In fact, people were nice to me. I am the one who always detaches without wanting it…

Here are my thoughts on loneliness vs solitude:

I don't see the point of living when you can't have any of the things you want and pain outweighs pleasure

I have had multiple people tell me over the course of several years tell me that I should continue to live even if I can never have any of the components which I deem necessary for having a happy and fulfilled life. Time and time again, I've been told to compromise any modicum of happiness...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Exactly, no choice at all. I am not sure if anyone has enjoyed solitude except to escape from abuse or torment. It's not your fault that you detach. I also cut and run from relationships. I do blame my parents and institutions for forcing me to suffer in this world, never teaching me any viable social skills. I like your post in that thread. You illustrated my thoughts greatly. It disgusts me that "enjoyment for solitude" is a symptom of disorders. There is no fucking choice. Retreatists are forced by society to retreat. Thanks for your reply.

 

[orca87]

Nah, I never wanted to ctb because of a friendship or relationship that ended, I think it's wrong, as it's not actually a part of you that you lost. Basically I was trying to say that I don't see the problems described in your post as a good reason to ctb.

There is no good or bad reason. If it hurts too much, it's what it is. I wish I could go on, but there is absolutely no one around.

I mostly want to ctb only because I have multiple chronic illnesses, and all the bad things I've caused to happen trying to live a normal life while being basically a cripple.

I'm sorry to hear that you're in this situation. Hope you will find relief

 

[TheSadStranger]

I have always felt disconnected and out of place.

I had periods where I managed to find social circles, friends, and relationships. All of that was temporary. It always came to the point that it all fell apart.

I tried from scratch so many times.

Mow, I have hit rock bottom more than ever. I will never be "normal".

So, the problem might seem of temporary nature for a third party. But that's just because no one knows my story. Because no one was on my journey for longer than one of these episodes.

It's a good time for ctb now. Why should I try again building relationships with strangers that might or might not become friends or partners? Only to fail again, only to do them wrong again? Why bother?

I've made this analogy before, but I'll say it again. Life is like a game of poker. You get the hand your dealt. What you do between now and the end of the game is up to you. It may seem like you have a bad hand, but if you stick through the game you might end up with a royal flush or you might end up with a pair. It's up to you to know "When to hold'em and when to fold'em"

I hope you are of a sound mind when you make your decision and I hope only the best for you.

 

[FuneralCry]

That phrase that pro lifers say really is so stupid to me, as long as one exists there will never be any escape from suffering and problems, it's just the way that life is. I actually see life in itself as being the true problem. But anyway every reason to wish to die is perfectly valid, in fact suicide doesn't even need a reason in the first place, it's a completely personal decision when to leave.