Venting "a permanent solution to a temporary problem" irks me to no end

[Daxter777]

When people say "it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem" it really pisses me off and feels out of touch with people that are suffering. usually what makes a lot of people suicidal are cronic health issues be it physical or mental. Literally something that is a permanent problem.

I understand there is recovery and resources to help people with these problems but to me it comes off as undermining the people's struggle.

Maybe my view is too pesimistic but I just wanted to voice my thoughts...

 

[Darkover]

For individuals with chronic physical or mental health conditions, the problem may persist for decades or a lifetime, with no realistic expectation of relief. In such cases, the suffering is not "temporary" but enduring.

The statement assumes that all lives follow a trajectory where problems resolve or improve over time.

Individuals have the right to decide the value and meaning of their own existence. For some, the permanence of a solution may align with their own values and reasoning, even if others disagree.

 

[whytrymyguy]

When people say "it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem" it really pisses me off and feels out of touch with people that are suffering. usually what makes a lot of people suicidal are cronic health issues be it physical or mental. Literally something that is a permanent problem.

I understand there is recovery and resources to help people with these problems but to me it comes off as undermining the people's struggle.

Maybe my view is too pesimistic but I just wanted to voice my thoughts...

This. Not going to disclose the condition due to some people's selfish and incorrect views surrounding it, but I have a psychological disorder that only gets worse over time, and quite literally damages your brain. By the end of my life, i'll be a completely different person, unable to function in an appropriate, rational, or survivable manner, and day to day life will require constant attention from those around me, who I will actively be hurting. I still want to try and be happy, to try and live happy, but I do NOT want my disease to progress to this level. It has already progressed so much, I can't go back, I can only try to stop it from progressing too quickly.

 

[L'absent]

The phrase 'it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem' is one of the most senseless and dangerous things that can be said. First of all, reducing chronic suffering – whether physical or mental – to a mere 'temporary problem' is pure ignorance. The person who says this probably thinks a headache is the same as metastasis, or that anxiety can be cured with a little self-help and a few mantras. Really? If you lived with chronic pain or a mental disorder that accompanies you day after day, maybe you'd start to realize that suffering isn't 'temporary', but an unavoidable reality.

And then, this infantilizing and superficial view of suicide is a real gem of bad taste. The people who say this might wish all those who suffer would wear a t-shirt that says 'Stay positive!' while battling their own body or mind, as if it's all just a bad dream from which you wake up in the morning. But the reality is a little more... permanent. Yes, suicide is a 'permanent solution', and who knows, maybe it's a nice solution for those who insist on thinking that a chronic problem can be 'fixed' with some nice advice from Twitter. The truth is that many people who suffer are forced to live with this suffering, and thinking that suicide is a response to a 'temporary problem' does nothing but trivialize everything, without understanding anything about what leads someone to that final decision. And if there's one thing nobody has the right to do, it's to reduce such a complex and painful experience to some kind of miscalculation or distorted view of the world.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Life itself is temporary. Do these people really think that everybody is immortal and lives forever? There isn't anything regarding life that is permanent since we will all have to die one day regardless of what we do. Also, even if somebody did kill themselves over a problem that is acute and they would recover from, how is that a bad thing exactly? I have yet to see a valid argument based on logic and not emotions as to why it's bad that such a person were to kill themselves. Would they feel regret from killing themselves over something that would have gotten better in the future? No because the future doesn't exist for them anymore since there is no "them" anymore. I'm so sick and tired of these pro lifers being unable to think through this rationally and logically. Instead I get presented with a lot of bullshit emotional arguments as to why an earlier death is bad. It's so fucking frustrating

 

[Life'sA6itch]

When people say "it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem" it really pisses me off and feels out of touch with people that are suffering. usually what makes a lot of people suicidal are cronic health issues be it physical or mental. Literally something that is a permanent problem.

I understand there is recovery and resources to help people with these problems but to me it comes off as undermining the people's struggle.

Maybe my view is too pesimistic but I just wanted to voice my thoughts...

I get very angry with that statement as well. It completely dismisses your lived experience and dismisses that life too is temporary. This statement when made by ANYONE, dismisses you! If anything, those saying this reveal to you they have no empathy or understanding of those they blanket-judge.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Life isn't always predictable. For some, it may be irrefutable that their situation won't improve. I agree- saying that to them is actually cruel. For those whose pain may pass though- it's not guaranteed either. They may overcome that problem only to encounter something worse! They may live to a ripe old age and regret not having freed themselves earlier. Or, they could indeed turn everything around.

Surely though- they should have the right to choose their path. Sure- give them likely scenarios to ponder. Offer them help even but- don't force it on them, insisting it will work. It very well may not!

To me- that slogan is along the same lines as: 'Things will get better.' It's a low effort response to shut us up I think- a lot of the time. It simply dismisses what we're going through as an inconvenience- both to us and them. As in- things will (magically) improve, so- don't you dare consider suicide.

 

[Leichter Kampfwagen]

It's just a funny saying because it doesn't make sense when applied to anything else. Why would anyone want a temporary solution to a problem, even if the problem is temporary? If my roof is leaking, I wouldn't want to keep patching and patching it until it doesn't leak anymore, I'd replace it with a metal one that will be here long after I'm gone.

"It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem."
"Uh, yea, that's the point. Yes, exactly. Good."

Also they say it's a temporary problem, but then you go to the doctor and they say it's a lifelong thing that will require constant mitigation. So you need a permanent solution. Eat correctly, exercise, get sunlight, socialize, do therapy and potentially meds, work on yourself, reduce stress, maintain sleep schedule, practice mental strategies, etc. and if you mess any one of these up (or sometimes even if you do them all perfectly) you are back to wanting to kill yourself and starting off at square one again. Sounds like a crappy deal to me, I'm out!

 

[PlutonianRooster]

Behind it, and many other catchphrases, is that it lets people feel good about 'helping' without any of the difficulty of thinking deeply about problems and perspectives besides their own. (If you want to take a view that's less cynical at the individual level: I tend to pin it on the widespread watering-down of social support, if the speaker's intentions are caring.)
I resent the popularity of the phrase as well, as someone who would describe their problems as persistent. Perhaps, like "it gets better", it applies to certain young people and impulsive situations. But most of the time, it is inappropriate - and even where the sentiment may be appropriate, it could likely be phrased better. "Permanent solution" is encouraging - "temporary problem" is a blasé non-starter at worst, and a promise they may not be able to keep at best.
Takes a simple online search to do better.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand, it's just so dreadful to me how there's all this suffering in existing with no limit as to how much agony one can feel, it's all so cruel.

 

[hurtingmom]

When people say "it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem" it really pisses me off and feels out of touch with people that are suffering. usually what makes a lot of people suicidal are cronic health issues be it physical or mental. Literally something that is a permanent problem.

I understand there is recovery and resources to help people with these problems but to me it comes off as undermining the people's struggle.

Maybe my view is too pesimistic but I just wanted to voice my thoughts...

I can relate, though from a somewhat different point of view. My daughter died by suicide in August 2022. I find solace thinking this is what she really wanted.

The saying that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, implies that her decision was wrong. That she fell victim to what's called 'stinking thinking'. I find that arrogant and hurtful. Who are we to say what's 'stinking thinking'.

So anyway, I totally understand you don't like this saying.

 

[suffering_mo]

For some, and even the majority, this statement IS actually true. There are many events, things in a person's life that make them want to die or be suicidal, but they do pass. I've seen it with others who I have known, even people where have tried to ctb and survived and are now, many years later, glad they are alive. I, myself, have been in situations that caused me to want to die or even feel suicidal, but they did pass in time and after I was better, I was glad to be alive. I was grateful for life again.

The big problem with the statement is that people apply it to ALL situations. Some are in chronic situations that will not get better, especially when it comes to health and neurological issues, physical pain. It is minimizing and demeaning to those individuals. It hurts me and grates me to hear it now.

 

[NegevChina]

When your world was once shattered, after you've tried recovering for many years and hardly succeeded, got medication, therapy, and then all that is shattered again because of physical health issue, but this time you're therapist cant help you, your Doctor cant help you, the medication is no longer effective, the pain is unbearable, your family is falling apart, you have no job, your about to lose your house, future is so unimaginably horrifying, that is not a temporary problem. That is a gradually increasing unbearable problem. So may be say "A permanent solution to a deteriorating problem that was already unbearable a long time ago"

 

[Daxter777]

I can relate, though from a somewhat different point of view. My daughter died by suicide in August 2022. I find solace thinking this is what she really wanted.

The saying that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, implies that her decision was wrong. That she fell victim to what's called 'stinking thinking'. I find that arrogant and hurtful. Who are we to say what's 'stinking thinking'.

So anyway, I totally understand you don't like this saying.

My condolences for your loss.

My dad CTB in January 2023, I know it's not the same but I know what going through grief around suicide is like. I am just glad his suffering ended because in the end he went through hell and no one deserves that.