Venting A man jumped to the tracks just like i wanted

[FloatingJellyfish]

I was just stuck in the train for 2 hours, a man jumped on the tracks and killed himself.
This was the way I wanted to go, especially in the last 2 years.
The last like 2 months I was doing really good, I wasn't thinking too much about suicide.
But this triggered me especially since it was on the route I wanted to jump.
The ppl online discussing this incident are mad and angry that they had to be late bc of that.
I don't know I feel strange.
I was waiting till winter so that I could cut myself again and hide it with pullovers since I don't want to anyone to see.
So I've been pushing my feelings to the side, but this whole ordeal kinda draged me back.
I'm normally not that emotional on that stuff.
That man at least doesn't have to suffer anymore.
I'm gonna have a uni class now so I gotta force myself to act normal.
I don't know, now I just want to jump, tho now I witnessed how the train conductor felt.
He was destroyed.
Anyways sorry for the rumble I just had to go out

 

[Enlighten]

I was just stuck in the train for 2 hours, a man jumped on the tracks and killed himself.
This was the way I wanted to go, especially in the last 2 years.
The last like 2 months I was doing really good, I wasn't thinking too much about suicide.
But this triggered me especially since it was on the route I wanted to jump.
The ppl online discussing this incident are mad and angry that they had to be late bc of that.
I don't know I feel strange.
I was waiting till winter so that I could cut myself again and hide it with pullovers since I don't want to anyone to see.
So I've been pushing my feelings to the side, but this whole ordeal kinda draged me back.
I'm normally not that emotional on that stuff.
That man at least doesn't have to suffer anymore.
I'm gonna have a uni class now so I gotta force myself to act normal.
I don't know, now I just want to jump, tho now I witnessed how the train conductor felt.
He was destroyed.
Anyways sorry for the rumble I just had to go out

I'm sorry you're feeling that awful. I would advice against suicide by train though. As you said, it's at least very traumatizing for the conductor and might be for other people aswell.
Attending classes is something you can do passively, don't worry too much about that. If you don't pay attention for a while or something similar, you can always catch up later.
Feel free to send me a message if you wanna talk about this further.

 

[puella]

I'm sorry you had to go through an event which triggered such painful thoughts and emotions. I hope you'll recover from it soon and start feeling better like the last two months.

 

[wendy5c]

Seeing this man die so gruesomely must've been traumatizing for everyone involved. I can't imagine the reaction of those who have to clean up his remains.