Venting a little longer

[naomewki]

hi everyone,, so despite joining the site i think im going to be stuck here on this earth a little bit longer, the odds unfortunately aren't adding up in my favor and ive just decided to accept it just like everything else that's happened so far... after all this is partly my fault since im such a shut in i know absolutely nothing about how to proceed with any action i want to take...

if only i learned how to socialize and go outside when i was younger i think I would be gone by now by maybe a gun or drowning and out of all of this suffering... it's not too late to learn though i think, ive never had too much hope about alot of things but im trying to have hope that here i can learn how to finally succeed at something...

in the meantime i guess ill just be scrolling on here or sleeping 24/7 hoping to land upon something that can help free me or distract me,, it's so different from how life used to be until i lost everything so quickly- but i just have to accept it i guess...

 

[Ethernatuskoi]

hi everyone,, so despite joining the site i think im going to be stuck here on this earth a little bit longer, the odds unfortunately aren't adding up in my favor and ive just decided to accept it just like everything else that's happened so far... after all this is partly my fault since im such a shut in i know absolutely nothing about how to proceed with any action i want to take...

in the meantime i guess ill just be scrolling on here or sleeping 24/7 hoping to land upon something that can help free me or distract me,, it's so different from how life used to be until i lost everything so quickly- but i just have to accept it i guess...

Hi, at the moment i'm writing this, i realize that my life is empty and dull and that there are few things that can still entertain me. I really have hope for better days, so much so that i stayed off the site for a while, but lately the suicidal thoughts have returned and here i am again... My routine never changes, i spend most of my time looking at things on the internet and recently i have been spending most of my time on this website. I wouldn't want to be here, no one would want to be here going through this. I wish i could change and give a new direction, a new meaning to my life, but part of me also believes that this is impossible and that i will be destined to be just another person who has failed at absolutely everything in this world, and i don't know if the best option would be to just accept things as they are and try to ctb right away, or if i should do something to change that. It's very confusing, but i think the way forward will be to stay on Earth for a while and try to find the answer, and if everything continues to go from bad to worse, then i'll already have a right answer to my problems.

Anyway, i wish you good luck im whathever action you decide to take, whether trying to recover or ctb.

 

[naomewki]

Hi, at the moment i'm writing this, i realize that my life is empty and dull and that there are few things that can still entertain me. I really have hope for better days, so much so that i stayed off the site for a while, but lately the suicidal thoughts have returned and here i am again... My routine never changes, i spend most of my time looking at things on the internet and recently i have been spending most of my time on this website. I wouldn't want to be here, no one would want to be here going through this. I wish i could change and give a new direction, a new meaning to my life, but part of me also believes that this is impossible and that i will be destined to be just another person who has failed at absolutely everything in this world, and i don't know if the best option would be to just accept things as they are and try to ctb right away, or if i should do something to change that. It's very confusing, but i think the way forward will be to stay on Earth for a while and try to find the answer, and if everything continues to go from bad to worse, then i'll already have a right answer to my problems.

Anyway, i wish you good luck im whathever action you decide to take, whether trying to recover or ctb.

i understand and feel so much of what you said,, i really wish there was a way to help you and the other people on the site with either action they truly want to take, being stuck suffering is truly the worse of this all, not being able to find help or not being able to find the right means to free ourselves... i hate seeing others suffer like this but it seems like it's just part of life unfortunately... it's hard to say anything about myself or think about myself when i see another person suffering like this-

if you ever need to vent or let any of your frustrations about it all out my dms are open and im hear to listen with a open heart and mind,, no matter what decision is chosen you deserve to be heard and that goes for everyone up here whether they'll leave tomorrow or try to heal slowly... all of those feelings you feel should be paid attention to and not neglected no matter what you do in the end...

 

[Ethernatuskoi]

i understand and feel so much of what you said,, i really wish there was a way to help you and the other people on the site with either action they truly want to take, being stuck suffering is truly the worse of this all, not being able to find help or not being able to find the right means to free ourselves... i hate seeing others suffer like this but it seems like it's just part of life unfortunately... it's hard to say anything about myself or think about myself when i see another person suffering like this-

if you ever need to vent or let any of your frustrations about it all out my dms are open and im hear to listen with a open heart and mind,, no matter what decision is chosen you deserve to be heard and that goes for everyone up here whether they'll leave tomorrow or try to heal slowly... all of those feelings you feel should be paid attention to and not neglected no matter what you do in the end...

Thank you for understanding. I'm happy to know that there are apparently good people here on the site who can understand each other's feelings. I also wish i could do something about other people's pain, but unfortunately i can't do anything other than talk or try to give some advice.

Knowing that there are several people out there who are suffering in different ways bothers me a lot, and sometimes i feel like a complete idiot for thinking too much about the others, even though i know that they probably wouldn't think of me in the same way.

I also feel like a monster for using this site and encouraging people to ctb. This habit of overthinking things has always affected me a lot and caused me to develop even greater anxiety than i already have. I would like to be "normal" like they think i am. I would like to honor my family and have a decent profession since they have always done everything for me and i have basically been privileged with everything, and yet i see myself as a complete failure who won't get anything good in life, but i might change my way of thinking if things improve from now on.

Also, if you want to talk too, just sent a private message and i will respond. I think a little chat wouldn't go amiss ;)