A guy harrasing me has threatened to spread evil lies about me in a F B group dedicated to my old school if I block him

[Now_And_Then]

I need some advice

I am a member of a face book group set up for ex pupils of a school I went to and a guy who is harassing me joined the group to stalk my posts . He never went to the school and is a lot older than me . He has threatened to jokingly spread evil lies about me , saying I am a paedophile and a child rapist if I block him or do not answer his calls . { he started joking about that when I sent him some paedophile sting videos } I know a lot of the ex pupils there , so that could be breaking and could not only taint my past , but also ruin my life

I have contacted two of the admins of the group to block him from there and the first one ignored me , and the other replied with a laid back response and said he would delete him if I sent him the link to the guys profile . He has not blocked him from there and is now ignoring me too . I do not know either of the admins , they both attended the school way before me, so I don't get it

What can I do about this . Calling the police will be tricky , especially if he has not done any thing yet

He might see it as a joke , but it really is not a joke at all

I am in a tricky situation

 

[Poptart]

Dont feed the fire.

I would block and ignore him. Hell get bored eventually and move on.

If his behavior escalates you can look into getting a restraining order.

Read The Gift of Fear. The author was a security guy who handled stalkers for famous people. It might have some handy tips.

 

[Living sucks]

Couple ways :

If you're not guilty. Ignore him and hope he goes away. Tell him you will call the cops if he doesn't. Block him on every account.

If you are not guilty and have nothing to hide.. Beat him to it. Create a post saying you're being threatened by him, and attach his threat to you publicly. State that anything he says is a lie or has been photo shopped to make it look incriminating. Make him look like a crazy psycho that stalks people so he has no credibility . Tell him you've called the police and reported him and demand he leave you alone. Block him on every account .

If you are guilty, voluntarily leave the FB group and don't share anything else with anyone ever and discontinue contact with him. Block him on every account

 

[Now_And_Then]

Couple ways :

If you're not guilty. Ignore him and hope he goes away. Tell him you will call the cops if he doesn't. Block him on every account.

If you are not guilty and have nothing to hide.. Beat him to it. Create a post saying you're being threatened by him, and attach his threat to you publicly. State that anything he says is a lie or has been photo shopped to make it look incriminating. Make him look like a crazy psycho that stalks people so he has no credibility . Tell him you've called the police and reported him and demand he leave you alone. Block him on every account .

If you are guilty, voluntarily leave the FB group and don't share anything else with anyone ever and discontinue contact with him. Block him on every account

But I am not guilty , I would never do any thing like that . He knows this too and said he will do it as a joke if I block him . I said to him that such a joke could ruins some one's life

He just laughed


What gets me is that the admins ignored me , even after I told them he never went to the school and what he is capable of

Dont feed the fire.

I would block and ignore him. Hell get bored eventually and move on.

If his behavior escalates you can look into getting a restraining order.

Read The Gift of Fear. The author was a security guy who handled stalkers for famous people. It might have some handy tips.

Thabk you for the recommendation


I would like to know though why the admins ignored me . All they have to do is remove him from the group

Then problem solved

 

[Giraffey]

But I am not guilty , I would never do any thing like that . He knows this too and said he will do it as a joke if I block him . I said to him that such a joke could ruins some one's life

He just laughed


What gets me is that the admins ignored me , even after I told them he never went to the school and what he is capable of

Take screenshots of the conversations where he has made these threats to falsely accuse you of being a paedophile if you block or ignore him. Do this whilst you can; before you block his account or he deletes his account. You'll want to make sure that you have screenshotted the whole screen, don't be tempted to crop them down or just copy and paste the messages as these can create problems later on with authenticity (from a legal point of view).

Depending on what country or indeed state that you live in there may or may not be grounds for you to obtain a court injunction against him. I'm not familiar with US law, but in the UK there would be grounds for police to investigate for harassment, he would be issued with a warning and if he followed through with his threats then he would be arrested.

As others have said, I wouldn't worry too much at this stage about his threats to publish the information. His ultimate goal is to keep control of you by stopping you from breaking contact with him, he knows that if he executes his threat to publish the false allegations then you will just block him and stop talking to him anyway - so he gives up that control.

I would suggest that you take the screenshots as above, whatever you do, don't delete the conversation even after taking screenshots, and finally block him - no need to provide an explanation to him or message him beforehand, just block. If the false allegations appear on the group (or anywhere else), you have the screenshots of him making the threats which you can publish, and you can report the posts to the admins or group moderators who will no doubt remove them.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Screenshot the threats and post them in the group. Even if the mods delete it, others will see before that happens, so you have witnesses and people will come to your defense if he does anything after you block him. He's basically the stupid villain who reveals his plan and gives you a chance to thwart it.

If he has friends in the group, tag them in the post and PM the screenshots to them.

You can also screenshot and PM to people on his friends list. Post it on his wall, too, before blocking him, do it at a time when he's usually not active so maybe it can sit there for awhile before he realizes.

Basically, he's threatening to fuck up your social support. Fuck up his. I'm not one for revenge or engaging in toxic bullshit, but there are times when defensive action is necessary and justified. And it's not revenge, such actions are logical consequences for what he's doing. Personally, I wouldn't feel good about doing what I suggest, because I don't like harming other people, but I would stand up for myself and fucking do it anyway. It's the situation that doesn't feel good, it's shit. In comparison, I don't feel good about killing mosquitos, but if they're going for my blood and I'm going to suffer the effects both during and after, I wish their mosquito souls well and defend myself.

What I and others have suggested for self-defense isn't slander, what he's threatening is slander. He put you in the power position, I recommend you use it. If it feels bad to do, it's because you have ethics, but what he's doing is worse and comes from a place of no ethics, and such a response to it is not unethical, it is not victimizing. The mods aren't protecting you, so it's up to you to protect yourself. Just don't make any threats you're not willing to follow through on, including reporting him to the police. You don't have to threaten it, you can just do it if at any time you decide that's best. And if the mods block you, that will suck, but it's a small price to pay for your safety and well-being.

Finally, he's working up your emotions which can override rational thinking. I recommend you step back, look at it objectively, make a plan for how to deal with it, and when you feel like it's a good plan, take action. Think of what you'd recommend someone else do if it was happening to them and not to you. Expect you'll feel emotions after you act, and when you do, remind yourself of all the reasons why you did it and stand firm. The emotions will pass. The strength will not.

 

[Despondent]

Screenshot the threats and post them in the group. Even if the mods delete it, others will see before that happens, so you have witnesses and people will come to your defense if he does anything after you block him. He's basically the stupid villain who reveals his plan and gives you a chance to thwart it.

I really like your points and if I were in this position, I would definitely post those threats before someone were to spread around false information. Ngl, I laughed more than I probably should have when I read that last sentence of yours -- especially because you're so logical when you said this and then he seems dumb

 

[Now_And_Then]

If he has friends in the group, tag them in the post and PM the screenshots to them

He has no friends in the group , as I stated above , he never even went to the school . I met the guy when he was a chef in a restaurant across the road from me about 6 years ago . He is from Italy and nearly 60 years old , so not even in my age range

Because I have put the name of both my primary and secondary school's on a post some months back , he went and typed the names in the search field and when he found the two groups , one for the primary school and the other for the secondary school and saw I am a member , he joined them . Like he is latching on to me to try and make my life miserable

I will screen shot the private messages like you said and I may even warn him and ask him to leave both groups

The second thing is that all three of the admins of that group all attended the school about 7 years before I did , so I never met them nor does any of my class mates know them . They obviously do not know the stalker guy either , so what gets me is why they ignored my request . . What warranted that ? What have I done to them ?


Thank you for your reply

Take screenshots of the conversations where he has made these threats to falsely accuse you of being a paedophile if you block or ignore him. Do this whilst you can; before you block his account or he deletes his account. You'll want to make sure that you have screenshotted the whole screen, don't be tempted to crop them down or just copy and paste the messages as these can create problems later on with authenticity (from a legal point of view).

Depending on what country or indeed state that you live in there may or may not be grounds for you to obtain a court injunction against him. I'm not familiar with US law, but in the UK there would be grounds for police to investigate for harassment, he would be issued with a warning and if he followed through with his threats then he would be arrested.

As others have said, I wouldn't worry too much at this stage about his threats to publish the information. His ultimate goal is to keep control of you by stopping you from breaking contact with him, he knows that if he executes his threat to publish the false allegations then you will just block him and stop talking to him anyway - so he gives up that control.

I would suggest that you take the screenshots as above, whatever you do, don't delete the conversation even after taking screenshots, and finally block him - no need to provide an explanation to him or message him beforehand, just block. If the false allegations appear on the group (or anywhere else), you have the screenshots of him making the threats which you can publish, and you can report the posts to the admins or group moderators who will no doubt remove them.

I am in the U K and as I said to the other guy I will screen shot those messages and then attempt to kindly ask him to leave the group with a warning that I will get the police if he does not

 

[Now_And_Then]

Up date :

One of the admins has removed the guy from the group which is a relief . Now I can go to block him on every one of my accounts

The guy has a sick sense of humour

 

[Deleted member 17949]

Screenshot evidence of these threats and block his ass lmao, don't let him control you with a hulking mass of lies and bs.

 

[Joey]

Up date :

One of the admins has removed the guy from the group which is a relief . Now I can go to block him on every one of my accounts

The guy has a sick sense of humour

That guy sounds like a sick psychopath. If I lived that way, I'd kill myself. I would never do that to someone.

 

[Zeus35]

Are you in England? Don't answer any calls from this guy. If he's calling you. Wait to ensure everything is in black and white in text, email or Facebook messenger. Then he can legally be charged for harassment and malicious communications. I hope your ok. We're all here for you (hugs). What an awful person

 

[BruhXDDDDD]

The best course of action is to not respond, but if that doesn't work try threatening suicide. I've been in about the same situation and it got them to stop once they sense that their actions might be met with consequence.

 

[summers]

Meet him and put two in the chest one in the head. Your problems will be solved in seconds.

 

[Painless_end]

This post is more than 2 years old. What happened are you ok now ?

 

[rationaltake]

OP was last seen in Oct.

 

[Julgran]

I need some advice

I am a member of a face book group set up for ex pupils of a school I went to and a guy who is harassing me joined the group to stalk my posts . He never went to the school and is a lot older than me . He has threatened to jokingly spread evil lies about me , saying I am a paedophile and a child rapist if I block him or do not answer his calls . { he started joking about that when I sent him some paedophile sting videos } I know a lot of the ex pupils there , so that could be breaking and could not only taint my past , but also ruin my life

I have contacted two of the admins of the group to block him from there and the first one ignored me , and the other replied with a laid back response and said he would delete him if I sent him the link to the guys profile . He has not blocked him from there and is now ignoring me too . I do not know either of the admins , they both attended the school way before me, so I don't get it

What can I do about this . Calling the police will be tricky , especially if he has not done any thing yet

He might see it as a joke , but it really is not a joke at all

I am in a tricky situation

As others have said or implied, don't negotiate with him, because he may try to do even more horrible things to you - like pressuring you for sex, money or anything else that he may think of.

If he does go through with his threats, you may explain the situation on your common Facebook group and tell the others that he's harassing you.

OP was last seen in Oct.

Oh! Good point!

 

[Hookah-smoking-cat]

I need some advice

I am a member of a face book group set up for ex pupils of a school I went to and a guy who is harassing me joined the group to stalk my posts . He never went to the school and is a lot older than me . He has threatened to jokingly spread evil lies about me , saying I am a paedophile and a child rapist if I block him or do not answer his calls . { he started joking about that when I sent him some paedophile sting videos } I know a lot of the ex pupils there , so that could be breaking and could not only taint my past , but also ruin my life

I have contacted two of the admins of the group to block him from there and the first one ignored me , and the other replied with a laid back response and said he would delete him if I sent him the link to the guys profile . He has not blocked him from there and is now ignoring me too . I do not know either of the admins , they both attended the school way before me, so I don't get it

What can I do about this . Calling the police will be tricky , especially if he has not done any thing yet

He might see it as a joke , but it really is not a joke at all

I am in a tricky situation

Do not let anyone manipulate or intimidate you hun. Don't give them that kind of power. If your innocent you wouldn't be worried