Venting A Deadline.

[Is0lated]

I've realized that maybe i've been trying to avoid suicide by telling myself that I'm going to do it once I finish my goals. And the more time passes the more they become impossible to finish. So I've been thinking of doing something. I'm an artist and a game developer so I thought maybe I should draw something on a big canvas and I can make it very detailed. Maybe it'll take me a month or two so after it's finished I can CTB. Maybe then I'll feel like there's a meaning to why I desire death. Or maybe I could develop a meaningful game. It could take so long but once it's done I'll do it. I really can't choose but both options are very tempting.

 

[fallintotheshadows]

From what I can see you legitimately listed the reasons as to why you haven't done it yet. This shows that you do have a reason for living albeit once you achieve it then you are unfulfilled once more and may end up doing it or the other side would be end up getting a new goal.