D

dospi1

Member
Nov 18, 2021
87
I really wonder what would it feel to be a "normal" part of society, i cant sleep anymore and when i do i hardly feel any rested, i talk to people but i never ever feel like they care about what i say at all, i eat mostly trashy things that keep my mind busy for a moment, i had an epyphany the other day any human connection ive ever felt was trough books, video games, or art in general. I really dont get people and i think that can only be thats something wrong whit me, am no person im a corpse unable to feel anything but this eternal longing for somthing i can never have, someone or something that considers me important. more a kin to a dead man than any living being. yet i remain here, man i really wish i could simply drop myself of some high building but for some damned reason i cant, i should have catch my bus so long ago when i was still human, when i was still someone, now i can only rot inside my own mind and pretend like im fine. im a corpse a rotting disgusting corpse that i can only wish i have a hearth attack in my sleep, i wish i got run over by a car, anything anything that will solve this horrible paradox, yet here i am roting slowly.

sorry for the rant and the gramar english is not my mother tongue
 
C

ChangeWaiter

Member
Oct 23, 2023
45
I relate. I see myself as a zombie walking around saying things, reacting, but not any more participating. Because I have so little control over my body, I also seem unable to CTB. I find piece in acceptance - so this my dead body walking and I'm observing it as pov.
 

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