6/20/23 - sabotaging

[irregularreconcile]

so tired. wasted my money yesterday, and feel good about it. being given sanctuary, my friend is seeing my complete unmasked symptoms. i need to sh sooo fucking bad.

been too busy and tired to post updates here. idk what the fuck im doing if im just now properly aquiring recovery. it's been 21 years, and i cant even take care of myself now that i am being given a normal life. im a sick dog that needs to be put down, it feels like.

ill eat my feelings today and just play video games or something. tomorrow is therapy, luckily. ill only have one more session after that, though.

too tired to add much of anything else. theres a lot in my head, and im really trying. hope everyone is as ok as possible today.

 

[Livingvsdying25]

so tired. wasted my money yesterday, and feel good about it. being given sanctuary, my friend is seeing my complete unmasked symptoms. i need to sh sooo fucking bad.

been too busy and tired to post updates here. idk what the fuck im doing if im just now properly aquiring recovery. it's been 21 years, and i cant even take care of myself now that i am being given a normal life. im a sick dog that needs to be put down, it feels like.

ill eat my feelings today and just play video games or something. tomorrow is therapy, luckily. ill only have one more session after that, though.

too tired to add much of anything else. theres a lot in my head, and im really trying. hope everyone is as ok as possible today.

If its any consolation (I do not know your full story but I am.going off this post) most folks that had a dsyregulated life find it hard to adjust when they are able to settle and such.

There's usually a period of things getting a bit worse before they get better as the brain & body adjusts to such regulation and such.


I hope that therapy goes well tmrw and that you have a good day today. It sounds like you are really trying and sometimes it doesn't always feel the best. Your fightin the good fight keep it up.

 

[irregularreconcile]

If its any consolation (I do not know your full story but I am.going off this post) most folks that had a dsyregulated life find it hard to adjust when they are able to settle and such.

There's usually a period of things getting a bit worse before they get better as the brain & body adjusts to such regulation and such.


I hope that therapy goes well tmrw and that you have a good day today. It sounds like you are really trying and sometimes it doesn't always feel the best. Your fightin the good fight keep it up.

thank you so much <333 your words mean a lot

 

[Sweet Tart]

I also don't know your story (outside of this post) but I suspect that many of us who are extremely self-critical were in some way taught to feel that way about ourselves when we were children. I may be a fuck of a lot older than you and am just starting to separate who I actually am from the negative perceptions I've always had of myself.

Glad you have video games and ways to self-soothe. It sounds like you deserve some rest and relief.