5/30/20...

[NekoNomNom]

...could be the departure date. I've had the materials for some time now. I've got the hotel room booked.

If you're able to, please lend me your strength this week. I'm scared, anxious, nauseous; but overall...I'm tired. I want this to stop.

Inspired by @Crushed_Innocence (may she rest in peace, should that be the case), closer to the date I'll post a separate thread of my method setup, and my story, should anybody be interested.

This forum has been a haven for me, and it's thanks to you wonderful people. I can't even begin to express my gratitude and appreciation for giving me somewhere to go, being welcomed with open arms and acceptance. I would be more lost than I am now. I'm so glad to have found you all ♡

[Edit] Heh...20 minutes later; and I'm not even a week out, and I'm already sobbing like an idiot. I'm feeling very overwhelmed by many different things right now. I wish I had found this place sooner, especially during my last few attempts.

Sigh. I'm sorry.

 

[K-O]

NomNom babe
everyday i read your poems and words on your profile.. not always reacting but i do see you. and your pain and more here do, like you mentioned ..
yesterday was very sad.. every one of us girls (ok and boiz) have a huge invisible mountain on our backs.. you are right.. i too wish i have found a place like this before.. a place out there in me something or one that sometimes dissolves the loneliness and sometimes ok's the strugle and pain.. even if not resolving it. maybe its not a problem to be resolved.. we are not problems..
you are tired and overwhelmed, sad and triggered.. you are an individual soul with a story.. in times of loss and confusion we need to take a step back and breath a bit.. words.. i know..
just wanted to send a hug and to thank you for sharing and if you wish some girl on girl action im here.
x

 

[Sadkitty]

I'm so sorry you feel like you do. I wish the decision to leave this world would come without doubts and fears. I hope your journey will be painless and peaceful. I know from personal experience it can be hard to let go and it can be freeing.
I hope we are all able to be able to release ourselves from the pain when we choose. So I wish you nothing but luck on your path, whichever way it goes.

 

[Living sucks]

.This forum has been a haven for me, and it's thanks to you wonderful people. I can't even begin to express my gratitude .

I wish I had found this place sooner, especially during my last few attempts.

Well you found it now .. and it's here for you

 

[Nolye]

I'm sorry, Neko. We are here if you need us, we can all understand your pain too well.

Whatever you decide to do in the future, I hope you find the peace you seek. We'll be with you untill the end.

[Edit] Heh...20 minutes later; and I'm not even a week out, and I'm already sobbing like an idiot. I'm feeling very overwhelmed by many different things right now. I wish I had found this place sooner, especially during my last few attempts.

What you're feeling is normal. It's hard to just let go. We all wished it could be easy.

 

[NekoNomNom]

NomNom babe
everyday i read your poems and words on your profile.. not always reacting but i do see you. and your pain and more here do, like you mentioned ..
yesterday was very sad.. every one of us girls (ok and boiz) have a huge invisible mountain on our backs.. you are right.. i too wish i have found a place like this before.. a place out there in me something or one that sometimes dissolves the loneliness and sometimes ok's the strugle and pain.. even if not resolving it. maybe its not a problem to be resolved.. we are not problems..
you are tired and overwhelmed, sad and triggered.. you are an individual soul with a story.. in times of loss and confusion we need to take a step back and breath a bit.. words.. i know..
just wanted to send a hug and to thank you for sharing and if you wish some girl on girl action im here.
x

Hey, you. I've got to be honest, those are actually song lyrics crafted by people who are far more talented than I could ever hope to be.

You're very right. Each one of us has come here for our own reasons. I can only hope to try to be there for others as much as I can, while I can.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. We can talk as much or as little as you'd like this week, and perhaps after that, should I back out.

I'm so sorry you feel like you do. I wish the decision to leave this world would come without doubts and fears. I hope your journey will be painless and peaceful. I know from personal experience it can be hard to let go and it can be freeing.
I hope we are all able to be able to release ourselves from the pain when we choose. So I wish you nothing but luck on your path, whichever way it goes.

Thank you for your kind words. There's only one person who has kept me here all this time. Finding the strength to leave them has been...harrowing. I've been fortunate enough to be able to choose a painless and peaceful method. It will also be difficult to change my mind about it once it's in action. So, we'll see what happens.

I'm sorry, Neko. We are here if you need us, we can all understand your pain too well.

Whatever you decide to do in the future, I hope you find the peace you seek. We'll be with you untill the end.



What you're feeling is normal. It's hard to just let go. We all wished it could be easy.

Thank you so much, Nolye. I'm so glad that we've had the opportunity to meet. I haven't had a long distance friend since I was in middle school. I look forward to opening your messages every time I come online. If I can somehow find the strength to do this, I will definitely miss our conversations.

This all feels so bittersweet, to be honest...

 

[Broken Chimera]

I'm sorry that you were hurt enough to come here, but I'm glad you found this place for support. Whatever you decide were here for you.

 

[Lostandfound7]

I'm sorry honey. I am happy that you, like most of us, have found peace n safety in this forum..an escape from the cruelty of this world. Just know that we r here for u, and will continue to be. U r not alone in this. We got ya back! Don't ever forget that!

You r loved

 

[NekoNomNom]

I'm sorry that you were hurt enough to come here, but I'm glad you found this place for support. Whatever you decide were here for you.

I'm sorry honey. I am happy that you, like most of us, u have found peace n safety in this forum. We r here for u, and will continue to be. U r not alone in this. We got ya back! Don't ever forget that!

You r loved

Thank you so much. Everything has just been an emotional roller coaster since I booked that hotel room last night. I barely got any sleep, and I'm pretty sure I thrashed around, or something. I don't know. I had some weird dreams that I can't even recall. I've been nauseous and shaking all day. Why am I like this.

I'm finally back home and in bed now, watching YouTube. So I hope that I can at least fall asleep soon, even though I'm not even tired.

I hope all of you are having a good weekend, and enjoying nice weather where you're at.

 

[Lostandfound7]

Thank you so much. Everything has just been an emotional roller coaster since I booked that hotel room last night. I barely got any sleep, and I'm pretty sure I thrashed around, or something. I don't know. I had some weird dreams that I can't even recall. I've been nauseous and shaking all day. Why am I like this.

I'm finally back home and in bed now, watching YouTube. So I hope that I can at least fall asleep soon, even though I'm not even tired.

I hope all of you are having a good weekend, and enjoying nice weather where you're at.

I'm so NOT surprised that u would have such overwhelming emotions as a result of booking the hotel n moving forward in not just a decision, but a decision that is so terminal. Lets b honest, u didn't book a room for a vacay, fun get-away,etc..Ur emotional roller-coaster is totally understandable n warranted..

As my @K-O mentioned, this wk was extremely sad for many of us who have had the pleasure of interacting with our beloved crushed...although we know the nature of this site n why we r here (most of us), it can often b so painful. I go thru a legit mourning process each time n have to snatch myself out, and remind myself that that was his/her decision in order to obtain peace..

We r so here for u, either way, and if u decide to make it a mini "vacay", we will b right here at home, waiting for u with wide, open arms♡♡♡

 

[NekoNomNom]

I'm so NOT surprised that u would have such overwhelming emotions as a result of booking the hotel n moving forward in not just a decision, but a decision that is so terminal. Lets b honest, u didn't book a room for a vacay, fun get-away,etc..Ur emotional roller-coaster is totally understandable n warranted..

As my @K-O mentioned, this wk was extremely sad for many of us who have had the pleasure of interacting with our beloved crushed...although we know the nature of this site n why we r here (most of us), it can often b so painful. I go thru a legit mourning process each time n have to snatch myself out, and remind myself that that was his/her decision in order to obtain peace..

We r so here for u, either way, and if u decide to make it a mini "vacay", we will b right here at home, waiting for u with wide, open arms♡♡♡

I've actually booked this hotel for my other attempts, but this has a different feeling entirely. Maybe because my method this time is guaranteed to be fatal, since I've gotten ahold of the resources to do proper research and have prepared better.

It really has been a week, hasn't it. Crushed and I talked a bit when I first joined the forum, and exchanged method details (we discovered we were using the same method.) I hope she's okay one way or the other.

It's very bittersweet getting to be close with people on here. While I feel relief for those who are able to pass on, knowing that they've found peace; I also can't help but feel sad for not only being left behind, but losing them too. Even though I didn't know them in any way, I've read a few threads about some members here who have passed on, and find myself emotionally impacted by it, all the same.

 

[Winston]

Inspired by @Crushed_Innocence (may she rest in peace, should that be the case), closer to the date I'll post a separate thread of my method setup, and my story, should anybody be interested.

Neko, I too was inspired by Crushed Innocence- what a brilliant, articulate soul. Like you, I will follow her pattern by notifying SS community a week or so out and come after with details and some bio. May we call it the Crushed Protocol?