_smile_
Student
- Jun 26, 2022
- 131
It's crazy to be part of a community where essentially everyone has something in common but still feel so alone. How do you get past the mentality that you're not a burden to someone? That someone isn't just being nice and they DO actually care? Or is it in fact that they DON'T care? I will bend over backwards for others, but how do I allow myself worthy of someone doing the same for me?
The irony of this all is that I don't even have anyone in question.
Making myself vulnerable to others is so tough. And when it happens, I start to spiral. Perhaps I'll just take this benzo tonight to help me calm down. Hmm, I'm feeling a bit stressed, a benzo would be nice. Next thing I know all my benzos are gone.
I just want a friend. A connection. Someone I'm comfortable with. Who cares. And will be there to listen to my self depreciation and rambling nonsense. Where I'm not out on blast or judged. Chat and groups and servers are all great for the day to day distractions and fluff. But at the end of the day, when the hurting is at its highest, no one is there.
The irony of this all is that I don't even have anyone in question.
Making myself vulnerable to others is so tough. And when it happens, I start to spiral. Perhaps I'll just take this benzo tonight to help me calm down. Hmm, I'm feeling a bit stressed, a benzo would be nice. Next thing I know all my benzos are gone.
I just want a friend. A connection. Someone I'm comfortable with. Who cares. And will be there to listen to my self depreciation and rambling nonsense. Where I'm not out on blast or judged. Chat and groups and servers are all great for the day to day distractions and fluff. But at the end of the day, when the hurting is at its highest, no one is there.