20s is so much worse than adolence

[FireFox]

People say being a teenager is hard due to pressures from school, bullying , struggling to fit in etc. Teenagers have issues which i will not dismiss

Being in my 20s i find it so much worse than being a teenager.
20s are the absolute worst.

Does anyone find this to be the case?

Being in your 20s you are not a young as you were when you are 18 but you are not seen as old enough by older and mature people.

Realising your youth is fading is so depressing and absolutely terrifying. Ageing is the why i want to ctb becauase if you are dead you cant age anymore.

In your 20s you grow up to realise all the things you were taught about life when you were young is a complete lie.

"Work hard in school, go to university or you will end up in macdonalds"

Loads of degree educated people work in macdonalds and low paying jobs.

Hard work is a myth because thier lots of people in jobs which they are not qualifed to do and they only have those jobs based on who they knew.
Looks at cronysim in politics, journalism etc

Lots of small business oweners work hard but they will never reach the level of jeff bezos or elon musk


" you can change your life" or be postive" I realise this is bullshit because some things are beyond your control. Positive people sometimes just piss me off so much because they are not living in reality.

- Covid 19 recession: my generation will be entering the worst recession in history.
Getting a job is pointless as no one is hiring where i live.

How can i be postive when the economic market is now fierecly competitive.

Mentall illness. Some mental illness make to day to day impossible. Schizoherina , bipolar etc.

Being a teenager you have loads celebrites giving you advice on how to deal with life , social media people share experiences and give tips and their shows marketed for thatage group

No one ever tells you how to deal with being in your 20s and all the confusion that comes with it

Seeing all the people i went to school with are so successful with their lives
This was this girl i used to sit in science classes with she has now announced on twitter she got a training contract in a law firm starting on monday. She will be a lawyer .

A boy i used to go to school with he works in the city in fiance. He was one of the popular assholes that liked to show off.

Other people have partners and interesting lives in general

I am 23 , suicidial , single and no career.

Seeing my classmates so sucessful then I realise have achieved nothing with my life.

Knowing all that i know i would have killed myself at 19. This is not a life worth holding to .
I know people have it worse than me but i dont believe life is worth living and dont think everyone is made for life.

The state of the world, ageing it all makes me what to ctb.

Seeing how i ruined my life i see no alternative anymore

I am not made for this world. I am too weird, i dont follow and i tend to question things more.

 

[WornOutLife]

30s are even worse, at least for me. (I'm 32)
And I think 40s will suck even more so there's no way I'm intending to live for so long.

Maybe for people like us, the more time goes by, simply the worse it gets?

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

People say being a teenager is hard due to pressures from school, bullying , struggling to fit in etc. Teenagers have issues which i will not dismiss

Being in my 20s i find it so much worse than being a teenager.
20s are the absolute worst.

Does anyone find this to be the case?

Being in your 20s you are not a young as you were when you are 18 but you are not seen as old enough by older and mature people.

Realising your youth is fading is so depressing and absolutely terrifying. Ageing is the why i want to ctb becauase if you are dead you cant age anymore.

In your 20s you grow up to realise all the things you were taught about life when you were young is a complete lie.

"Work hard in school, go to university or you will end up in macdonalds"

Loads of degree educated people work in macdonalds and low paying jobs.

Hard work is a myth because thier lots of people in jobs which they are not qualifed to do and they only have those jobs based on who they knew.
Looks at cronysim in politics, journalism etc

Lots of small business oweners work hard but they will never reach the level of jeff bezos or elon musk


" you can change your life" or be postive" I realise this is bullshit because some things are beyond your control. Positive people sometimes just piss me off so much because they are not living in reality.

- Covid 19 recession: my generation will be entering the worst recession in history.
Getting a job is pointless as no one is hiring where i live.

How can i be postive when the economic market is now fierecly competitive.

Mentall illness. Some mental illness make to day to day impossible. Schizoherina , bipolar etc.

Being a teenager you have loads celebrites giving you advice on how to deal with life , social media people share experiences and give tips and their shows marketed for thatage group

No one ever tells you how to deal with being in your 20s and all the confusion that comes with it

Seeing all the people i went to school with are so successful with their lives
This was this girl i used to sit in science classes with she has now announced on twitter she got a training contract in a law firm starting on monday. She will be a lawyer .

A boy i used to go to school with he works in the city in fiance. He was one of the popular assholes that liked to show off.

Other people have partners and interesting lives in general

I am 23 , suicidial , single and no career.

Seeing my classmates so sucessful then I realise have achieved nothing with my life.

Knowing all that i know i would have killed myself at 19. This is not a life worth holding to .
I know people have it worse than me but i dont believe life is worth living and dont think everyone is made for life.

The state of the world, ageing it all makes me what to ctb.

Seeing how i ruined my life i see no alternative anymore

I am not made for this world. I am too weird, i dont follow and i tend to question things more.

God I relate ot this. I am 22 ingle, no job, just in a dumb college and wanting to die everyday. Life doesn't get better. All lies.

 

[Living_Hurts_so_Much]

People say being a teenager is hard due to pressures from school, bullying , struggling to fit in etc. Teenagers have issues which i will not dismiss

Being in my 20s i find it so much worse than being a teenager.
20s are the absolute worst.

Does anyone find this to be the case?

Being in your 20s you are not a young as you were when you are 18 but you are not seen as old enough by older and mature people.

Realising your youth is fading is so depressing and absolutely terrifying. Ageing is the why i want to ctb becauase if you are dead you cant age anymore.

In your 20s you grow up to realise all the things you were taught about life when you were young is a complete lie.

"Work hard in school, go to university or you will end up in macdonalds"

Loads of degree educated people work in macdonalds and low paying jobs.

Hard work is a myth because thier lots of people in jobs which they are not qualifed to do and they only have those jobs based on who they knew.
Looks at cronysim in politics, journalism etc

Lots of small business oweners work hard but they will never reach the level of jeff bezos or elon musk


" you can change your life" or be postive" I realise this is bullshit because some things are beyond your control. Positive people sometimes just piss me off so much because they are not living in reality.

- Covid 19 recession: my generation will be entering the worst recession in history.
Getting a job is pointless as no one is hiring where i live.

How can i be postive when the economic market is now fierecly competitive.

Mentall illness. Some mental illness make to day to day impossible. Schizoherina , bipolar etc.

Being a teenager you have loads celebrites giving you advice on how to deal with life , social media people share experiences and give tips and their shows marketed for thatage group

No one ever tells you how to deal with being in your 20s and all the confusion that comes with it

Seeing all the people i went to school with are so successful with their lives
This was this girl i used to sit in science classes with she has now announced on twitter she got a training contract in a law firm starting on monday. She will be a lawyer .

A boy i used to go to school with he works in the city in fiance. He was one of the popular assholes that liked to show off.

Other people have partners and interesting lives in general

I am 23 , suicidial , single and no career.

Seeing my classmates so sucessful then I realise have achieved nothing with my life.

Knowing all that i know i would have killed myself at 19. This is not a life worth holding to .
I know people have it worse than me but i dont believe life is worth living and dont think everyone is made for life.

The state of the world, ageing it all makes me what to ctb.

Seeing how i ruined my life i see no alternative anymore

I am not made for this world. I am too weird, i dont follow and i tend to question things more.

Wait until you're in your 40's and look back on (my) depressing experience. So many different choices I could have made and I chose this. It sucks.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

Life keeps getting worse, I'm afraid.
Don't grow up. It's a trap!

 

[WornOutLife]

Life keeps getting worse, I'm afraid.
Don't grow up. It's a trap!

I soooo agree with you!

 

[Squiddy]

People say being a teenager is hard due to pressures from school, bullying , struggling to fit in etc. Teenagers have issues which i will not dismiss

Being in my 20s i find it so much worse than being a teenager.
20s are the absolute worst.

Does anyone find this to be the case?

Being in your 20s you are not a young as you were when you are 18 but you are not seen as old enough by older and mature people.

Realising your youth is fading is so depressing and absolutely terrifying. Ageing is the why i want to ctb becauase if you are dead you cant age anymore.

In your 20s you grow up to realise all the things you were taught about life when you were young is a complete lie.

"Work hard in school, go to university or you will end up in macdonalds"

Loads of degree educated people work in macdonalds and low paying jobs.

Hard work is a myth because thier lots of people in jobs which they are not qualifed to do and they only have those jobs based on who they knew.
Looks at cronysim in politics, journalism etc

Lots of small business oweners work hard but they will never reach the level of jeff bezos or elon musk


" you can change your life" or be postive" I realise this is bullshit because some things are beyond your control. Positive people sometimes just piss me off so much because they are not living in reality.

- Covid 19 recession: my generation will be entering the worst recession in history.
Getting a job is pointless as no one is hiring where i live.

How can i be postive when the economic market is now fierecly competitive.

Mentall illness. Some mental illness make to day to day impossible. Schizoherina , bipolar etc.

Being a teenager you have loads celebrites giving you advice on how to deal with life , social media people share experiences and give tips and their shows marketed for thatage group

No one ever tells you how to deal with being in your 20s and all the confusion that comes with it

Seeing all the people i went to school with are so successful with their lives
This was this girl i used to sit in science classes with she has now announced on twitter she got a training contract in a law firm starting on monday. She will be a lawyer .

A boy i used to go to school with he works in the city in fiance. He was one of the popular assholes that liked to show off.

Other people have partners and interesting lives in general

I am 23 , suicidial , single and no career.

Seeing my classmates so sucessful then I realise have achieved nothing with my life.

Knowing all that i know i would have killed myself at 19. This is not a life worth holding to .
I know people have it worse than me but i dont believe life is worth living and dont think everyone is made for life.

The state of the world, ageing it all makes me what to ctb.

Seeing how i ruined my life i see no alternative anymore

I am not made for this world. I am too weird, i dont follow and i tend to question things more.

I know how you feel. I hate seeing people more successful than me and me currently being unsuccessful in my 20s. I should have my bachelor's by now, but don't and am currently on disability. Another reason I want to ctb.

 

[LetzteAusfahrt]

People say being a teenager is hard due to pressures from school, bullying , struggling to fit in etc. Teenagers have issues which i will not dismiss

Being in my 20s i find it so much worse than being a teenager.
20s are the absolute worst.

Does anyone find this to be the case?

Being in your 20s you are not a young as you were when you are 18 but you are not seen as old enough by older and mature people.

Realising your youth is fading is so depressing and absolutely terrifying. Ageing is the why i want to ctb becauase if you are dead you cant age anymore.

In your 20s you grow up to realise all the things you were taught about life when you were young is a complete lie.

"Work hard in school, go to university or you will end up in macdonalds"

Loads of degree educated people work in macdonalds and low paying jobs.

Hard work is a myth because thier lots of people in jobs which they are not qualifed to do and they only have those jobs based on who they knew.
Looks at cronysim in politics, journalism etc

Lots of small business oweners work hard but they will never reach the level of jeff bezos or elon musk


" you can change your life" or be postive" I realise this is bullshit because some things are beyond your control. Positive people sometimes just piss me off so much because they are not living in reality.

- Covid 19 recession: my generation will be entering the worst recession in history.
Getting a job is pointless as no one is hiring where i live.

How can i be postive when the economic market is now fierecly competitive.

Mentall illness. Some mental illness make to day to day impossible. Schizoherina , bipolar etc.

Being a teenager you have loads celebrites giving you advice on how to deal with life , social media people share experiences and give tips and their shows marketed for thatage group

No one ever tells you how to deal with being in your 20s and all the confusion that comes with it

Seeing all the people i went to school with are so successful with their lives
This was this girl i used to sit in science classes with she has now announced on twitter she got a training contract in a law firm starting on monday. She will be a lawyer .

A boy i used to go to school with he works in the city in fiance. He was one of the popular assholes that liked to show off.

Other people have partners and interesting lives in general

I am 23 , suicidial , single and no career.

Seeing my classmates so sucessful then I realise have achieved nothing with my life.

Knowing all that i know i would have killed myself at 19. This is not a life worth holding to .
I know people have it worse than me but i dont believe life is worth living and dont think everyone is made for life.

The state of the world, ageing it all makes me what to ctb.

Seeing how i ruined my life i see no alternative anymore

I am not made for this world. I am too weird, i dont follow and i tend to question things more.

I am too old to answer your question correctly.

But I agree with the "think positive" and "you have it in your hands" bullshit.

Of course, these two thoughts are needed to motivate the fight in life.

But as you say, it takes a lot more.
Especially luck.

The luck to make the right decisions.
To be in the right place at the right time.
To get to know the right people.
To live in the right place.
And and and,....

If you are not lucky, you will probably not be able to reach the first steps and will be left behind.

And yes, getting older is a reason for CTB, I can confirm that at 52. But the 20s are not the worst ;-)

No matter how much you've ruined your life so far, at 23 you can start all over again.
But I was also told that at 52 I could start all over again instead of killing myself. Bullshit

It's just that the mind has to go along with this thought, otherwise it won't work.

You say you are not made for this world. This actually only means that, contrary to the general public, you want to go your own way and not just like everything else along with the others.
This is a good basis for making a difference, but it also takes a lot of strength.
I no longer have the strength to exist in this world that I don't fit into.
You still have it.

Whether you use them or just throw them away, you have to decide for yourself.

 

[Shiro20]

I agree so much with this, happens to me too and I feel lost.

 

[socrates]

Yeah, I'm 25 now and what I'd give to be younger. Next year I will be 26 and no longer be on my parents health insurance. I hope and dream for my online business to work, but I'll I do is waist time. Some people were born lucky and some people were lucky to be born. Well I'm so unlucky I was born.

 

[134340]

Felt this. Every year since 18 has been worse than the last. i don't know how to fix it and I don't know how much longer I can handle it either. Hugs if you want them. I'm sorry you feel the same way.

 

[FireFox]

I know how you feel. I hate seeing people more successful than me and me currently being unsuccessful in my 20s. I should have my bachelor's by now, but don't and am currently on disability. Another reason I want to ctb.

@Squiddy What are studying currently?

Lots of people finish thier degrees late . Dont feel bad ok :)

What field do you what to go in to?
Good luck squiddy

Wait until you're in your 40's and look back on (my) depressing experience. So many different choices I could have made and I chose this. It sucks.

@Living_Hurts_so_Much
Sorry what has happend during your life to make you feel this way?
If you dont want to take about it here i understand.
I hope you find happiness.
You can always pm me :)

 

[Linda]

I am 67 and would very much like to be 23 again. I can't speak for everyone, and a lot depends of things outside your control, but most people find that life gets easier to handle when they get past their mid to late 20s. You have more maturity and more experience to fall back on. Typically, it remains OK until you get to an age when your strength and health start to fail (which is starting to apply to me now). I think there is a good chance that things will get better for you.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I have so many huge regrets already. I suppose this could be good...I now know what I can work on for the future. But I just don't want to stick around. I know it sounds weak, but I'm tired.

I'm about your age btw, and it's so rough seeing former peers achieve such great successes. I'm taking a step back from Facebook for a while to see if it helps.

 

[FireFox]

I am 67 and would very much like to be 23 again. I can't speak for everyone, and a lot depends of things outside your control, but most people find that life gets easier to handle when they get past their mid to late 20s. You have more maturity and more experience to fall back on. Typically, it remains OK until you get to an age when your strength and health start to fail (which is starting to apply to me now). I think there is a good chance that things will get better for you.

@Linda
Sorry to hear about your health. Please take care.

I hope you are right. The covid 19 situation and recession terrfies me so much.

 

[Mustkeyknow]

30s are even worse, at least for me. (I'm 32)
And I think 40s will suck even more so there's no way I'm intending to live for so long.

Maybe for people like us, the more time goes by, simply the worse it gets?

I too think I will not be living for long. Being in your thirties is so hard, I can't imagine what being in your fourties will be like.

 

[ohhgeeitsme]

For me (so far) my 30's have been worse than my 20's. I'm 33. My 20's worse than my teens. I got through all the crappy teen experiences and most of my horrible 20's by daydreaming. I was excited about the future. I honestly wasted a lot of time by routinely doing nothing but listen to music and daydream, which would bring a natural high. I don't have that anymore. I can barely even listen to music anymore because it hurts so much. The reason daydreaming helped the way it did was because all of the scenarios that played out in my mind, at the time, were seemingly possible. It was that sense of possibility that made me happy and allowed me to escape whatever negative feelings I was experiencing.
I don't have that anymore. I can't seem to find any hope anymore for my future and so daydreaming doesn't have the same effect. So I'm stuck here to sink into the present and dread what the future brings. I should have spent all that time I wasted in my teens and 20's learning all kinds of skills and furthering my education. My lack of any meaningful career prospects and the financial burden that comes with entry level positions and health problems are a big factor in why I want to die. It's not the only thing, and not even the first thing, but it does play a major role.
The best years of my life were before puberty and then ages 18-22. 1993 to 1996 were probably the best years of my life (6-9). Just running around a small town, riding bikes, climbing trees, playing all kinds of games with the rest of the neighborhood kids, just being a freaking kid.
This whole adult thing blows.

 

[Lordsudbury]

Yeah wait til ur 30s lol

 

[Squiddy]

@Squiddy What are studying currently?

Lots of people finish thier degrees late . Dont feel bad ok :)

What field do you what to go in to?
Good luck squiddy

@Living_Hurts_so_Much
Sorry what has happend during your life to make you feel this way?
If you dont want to take about it here i understand.
I hope you find happiness.
You can always pm me :)

I want to go into either computer science or game design

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

The thing is, there are different challenges at every stage of life. The struggles of adolescence are often dealt with by the time you're a young adult, but new challenges emerge. Once you develop a maturity to handle the challenges of young adulthood, life throws you new pitches you've never seen before. It's a never ending game of trying to cope with what's next. Some of us have more difficulty than others, I guess. Or maybe some of us are just tired of the game.

 

[LetzteAusfahrt]

Felt this. Every year since 18 has been worse than the last. i don't know how to fix it and I don't know how much longer I can handle it either. Hugs if you want them. I'm sorry you feel the same way.

I don't know if I was strong enough or just too stupid to grow old with this problem.

The desire for the youth or the missed youth tormented me every day for years. I'm glad I finally gave up fighting and at least I can be a little happy now.

 

[TAW122]

It is certainly a hard period for me. In my experiences, I certainly enjoyed having more freedom, but yet suffered knowing that I don't have the means to enjoy life the same way others do or the ability to. Overall, I'd say that my life is generally suffering, with little bouts of respite time to time. At best, I've just hung on longer, at worst, I've been eager to die.

 

[FireFox]

God I relate ot this. I am 22 ingle, no job, just in a dumb college and wanting to die everyday. Life doesn't get better. All lies.

@DeathIsTheWayOut99 what are you studying in college? Good luck with your course you can do it.
Enjoy college while you still can.
I miss being at university . Being a graduate sucks there is not much support like there is when at university and graduate life is so isolating.

 

[FireFox]

For me (so far) my 30's have been worse than my 20's. I'm 33. My 20's worse than my teens. I got through all the crappy teen experiences and most of my horrible 20's by daydreaming. I was excited about the future. I honestly wasted a lot of time by routinely doing nothing but listen to music and daydream, which would bring a natural high. I don't have that anymore. I can barely even listen to music anymore because it hurts so much. The reason daydreaming helped the way it did was because all of the scenarios that played out in my mind, at the time, were seemingly possible. It was that sense of possibility that made me happy and allowed me to escape whatever negative feelings I was experiencing.
I don't have that anymore. I can't seem to find any hope anymore for my future and so daydreaming doesn't have the same effect. So I'm stuck here to sink into the present and dread what the future brings. I should have spent all that time I wasted in my teens and 20's learning all kinds of skills and furthering my education. My lack of any meaningful career prospects and the financial burden that comes with entry level positions and health problems are a big factor in why I want to die. It's not the only thing, and not even the first thing, but it does play a major role.
The best years of my life were before puberty and then ages 18-22. 1993 to 1996 were probably the best years of my life (6-9). Just running around a small town, riding bikes, climbing trees, playing all kinds of games with the rest of the neighborhood kids, just being a freaking kid.
This whole adult thing blows.

@ohhgeeitsme
Sorry to hear that.

I was born in 1997. I miss being a child. I used to watch cartoons on network. The shows i watched on cartoon network were courage the cowardly dog, ed edd n eddy . When i was a child there was british kids channel called cbeebies . I used watch the tweenies.
I also had a play station one when i was a child .
I was happy .
The reason why adulthood blows is our parents fault and school system.
The school system teaches you how to pass exams but not naviagate the world.

The school system does not give a lot of information on what is availble for young people.

My parents never taught me how be an adult. All they taught me was "life is hard etc" but they never prepared me on how to actually to deal with the bullshit this world actually is
My parents belive in leaving it to God . I believe in a god but i like my problems fixed as well.

Well I was sexually assaulted and bullied in college so....

@DeathIsTheWayOut99 I am so sorry i didnt know .
There is a special person in hell for people who abuse women
What would love to do in the future. It be crazy as you want

Rememebr what happened was not your fault. It is never your fault. Your body belongs to you and you alone

Is there a place for you to seek councelling or somewhere for you to talk to about what happened?

Dont let the bullies win. Bullies thrive on fear.
This world is full of bullies . Bullies are in the work place, the president of the united states is a bully
Get good grades ask tutors for help if struggling
Be your real self and never stop being you.
You can do it
Love your friend
FireFox

 

[FireFox]

For me (so far) my 30's have been worse than my 20's. I'm 33. My 20's worse than my teens. I got through all the crappy teen experiences and most of my horrible 20's by daydreaming. I was excited about the future. I honestly wasted a lot of time by routinely doing nothing but listen to music and daydream, which would bring a natural high. I don't have that anymore. I can barely even listen to music anymore because it hurts so much. The reason daydreaming helped the way it did was because all of the scenarios that played out in my mind, at the time, were seemingly possible. It was that sense of possibility that made me happy and allowed me to escape whatever negative feelings I was experiencing.
I don't have that anymore. I can't seem to find any hope anymore for my future and so daydreaming doesn't have the same effect. So I'm stuck here to sink into the present and dread what the future brings. I should have spent all that time I wasted in my teens and 20's learning all kinds of skills and furthering my education. My lack of any meaningful career prospects and the financial burden that comes with entry level positions and health problems are a big factor in why I want to die. It's not the only thing, and not even the first thing, but it does play a major role.
The best years of my life were before puberty and then ages 18-22. 1993 to 1996 were probably the best years of my life (6-9). Just running around a small town, riding bikes, climbing trees, playing all kinds of games with the rest of the neighborhood kids, just being a freaking kid.
This whole adult thing blows.

@ohhgeeitsme I hope you find happiness i really do.

Tommorrow is always a new day to start again.
People get a married in their 30s and have children in thier 30s
People change careers in thier 30s

People go to college/ university later on in life as well. I went to university and there were people in my classes who were in thier 30s and so forth.

Stan lee the guy who created marvel comincs was in his 40s when he made the comics

Take care and love your friend
FireFox

I want to go into either computer science or game design

@Squiddy that is really cool. Good luck with your course you can do it

 

[ohhgeeitsme]

@ohhgeeitsme I hope you find happiness i really do.

Tommorrow is always a new day to start again.
People get a married in their 30s and have children in thier 30s
People change careers in thier 30s

People go to college/ university later on in life as well. I went to university and there were people in my classes who were in thier 30s and so forth.

Stan lee the guy who created marvel comincs was in his 40s when he made the comics

Take care and love your friend
FireFox

Thank you. I appreciate the support. My ability to further my education now is nearly impossible. There is no way I can work full time and go to school. I know a lot of people do it (my older sister is doing it now) but I also know I couldn't. I can barely work full time with all my mental and health problems. I've had seizures in my temporal lobe since I was 14. I think they may have finally stopped (I haven't had one in two years) but the damage is done. My memory is now horrible (I mean REALLY bad) and it's difficult for me to retain information. So even if I didn't have to work and only had to go to school, I honestly don't think I could pass the tests anymore. It would take way more time than the average person. There was a time around the age of 24 or 25 when I was having about three or four seizures a day for a few months and my memory got so bad I couldn't even hold a conversation. I would forget what we were talking about as soon as I started talking. The person would remind me, and I'd have it for a second and then forget again. It was absolutely terrifying. It did get better, but it's never been the same. It's embarrassing because I'm really not as dumb as I sometimes come across in person. That's why writing and talking to people online are much easier for me. I can always go back and re-read what I said.
When it comes to relationships, that's a difficult one too. I'm suffering from Post-SSRI sexual dysfunction. I've been off them for nine months now and I still have zero libido. It may be permanent, may not. Only time will tell, though I'm pretty sure it will never return completely. So really, the only way for me to have a romantic relationship with anyone is if I find someone asexual, but still romantically attracted to people. That's some seriously slim pickings. I had a hard enough time trying to find someone I was entirely interested in when I had a very high libido. SSRIs also gave me akathisia, which I'm still going through and is a big reason I want to die. Luckily, I found something to alleviate most of it about five months in (kratom) but that's probably only prolonging it and I'm seriously terrified of when I'm going to have to face it again. I was going through severe akathisia when I made my first suicide attempts in December and I have no doubts that I will kill myself if it returns like that. It's absolute torture. I am trying to survive as long as possible. Mostly because I now live with my father after losing my job and home because of the akathisia and I just hate the idea of him finding my body so I'm trying to wait until I can move out. Once again, time will tell.
Anyway, sorry about the long post (which I always do lol) but thank you. I hope you find happiness as well. Much love to you.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

While I don't think you're being fair in saying that everything we're ever told as kids is a lie I do think that growing up is rough and makes things worse and worse over time. You do loser freedoms and that can hurt. I personally found myself daydreaming a lot as a kid. It was nice having a seemingly endless sea of possibility in front of me and I could just imagine getting what I wanted out of life without really having to face any stress. As time went on more and more opportunities were missed and I now realize that all the things I thought were realistic are not realistic if I can't bring myself to try in life.

 

[Hearhear]

Yes, now at 27 I realise how much easier studying was than holding a full time job (or even getting hired).
Where do people get the energy from to do fun stuff in their free time?