Treku
why am I even alive
- Oct 15, 2023
- 58
the date is set, well it has been for a while now, but yeah. as of now it is a little over 48 hours untill I ctb. I'm def not scared abt it or anything, it's not my first rodeo but will def be my last, and I'm just so ready for this shit called life to be over.
idk if anyone is interested or cares but my method is jumping. I'm not gonna get into any specifics as I'm paranoid as shit lol but that's the best option that I've decided on.
I've said "goodbye" to almost everyone or the ones who I'm not gonna see tomorrow and lied to my therapist abt being fine lol. I'm planning on seeing my bf for the last time either tomorrow or the next morning and same with my immediate family. my brother is on holiday currently so I haven't seen him in a while and i hope this doesn't affect that too much but oh well.
I've written letters to the few people left in my life and am planning on doing either a delayed email or message (I'll use 'auto message' on google play. idk if I've seen it mentioned here before but is really good for delayed messages instead of emails) and I'll put a link to a file with each of the letters. if anyone has any ideas for anything better let me know but I think that should be ok.
I also don't know what to do on my last day so any ideas are welcome lol.
I think I will do a goodbye thread with context abt shit and idk what else on the day but idk.
I was wondering if there was anything else that I needed to do before I ctb. like I will log out and delete all history of me being on SS obv and log out of my other accounts and stuff, clean my room and idk what else. pls let me know if im forgetting smth important.
but yeah fuck this got so rambly lol sorry if u got this far.
idk if anyone is interested or cares but my method is jumping. I'm not gonna get into any specifics as I'm paranoid as shit lol but that's the best option that I've decided on.
I've said "goodbye" to almost everyone or the ones who I'm not gonna see tomorrow and lied to my therapist abt being fine lol. I'm planning on seeing my bf for the last time either tomorrow or the next morning and same with my immediate family. my brother is on holiday currently so I haven't seen him in a while and i hope this doesn't affect that too much but oh well.
I've written letters to the few people left in my life and am planning on doing either a delayed email or message (I'll use 'auto message' on google play. idk if I've seen it mentioned here before but is really good for delayed messages instead of emails) and I'll put a link to a file with each of the letters. if anyone has any ideas for anything better let me know but I think that should be ok.
I also don't know what to do on my last day so any ideas are welcome lol.
I think I will do a goodbye thread with context abt shit and idk what else on the day but idk.
I was wondering if there was anything else that I needed to do before I ctb. like I will log out and delete all history of me being on SS obv and log out of my other accounts and stuff, clean my room and idk what else. pls let me know if im forgetting smth important.
but yeah fuck this got so rambly lol sorry if u got this far.
