Venting 2 Class now know that i am starving myself

[Zenna]

I try too keep it short because even texting is exhausting currently but if you have any questions just ask.

I am currently starving/dehydrating me, yes i know not an recommendet method because other people cant stop them self from eating but I am not most people.

Few minutes ago 2 ex classmates called me because they wanted to know why i stopped caming too school and stop contact with everyone.
It was an whatsapp call and i didn't know that its there a video call so they saw my completely dehydrated face.
Both of them know like nerly everyone that I already tryd too die from dehydrated so they already know that I want too try it again.

They promised me that they wouldn't call the ambulance but i dont know if I can trust them since i dont now them at all.


I am scared that they could tell anyone or dont keep there promised and call the ambulance anyways, i am alredy at day 6 and used many kinds of laxative too speed it up.
I dont want to start over and I am a bit scard of my plan b, even though it would be cool to die in the psychatrie and giving the people there some problems.
Oh and by the way i used the term school because i couldn't find a word for Ausbildung in English, the words that google translator suggested sound wrong

 

[justanotherfailure]

I think Ausbildung would be like a trade school (Handelsschule?)
I'm sorry that you've reached the point of feeling like life isn't worth it anymore, and I wish you peace no matter what happens