Story 11/30/23 - Update

[irregularreconcile]

More of a follow up of my previous entry-- Not mentioning some of the stuff here, if you want to read it you can.

After calming down some, my partner and I really think I'm just struggling with OCD- ZOCD to be specific. I don't think it changes anything about my CTB plans, but I guess it makes sense with my history of already having really bad harm OCD.

Hard to think December is coming soon... This will be my last Christmas. I'm honestly kind of thankful because holidays fucking suck, but there is some twinge of pain with having my last Christmas.

I'm preparing gifts, and hopefully it can make an impact this year for my friends. Kind of nervous.

Just for now feeling kind of numb. Hope everyone else if fairing as well as possible within our situations.

 

[girlsboysthems]

same here, i havent started buying gifts, i just dont know what to give... what are you going to give to your loved ones?

 

[irregularreconcile]

same here, i havent started buying gifts, i just dont know what to give... what are you going to give to your loved ones?

Fair, it's honestly so hard to pick stuff out for everyone ^_^;

I'm making some art for them, various stuff. Hopefully it'll be cool for them haha

 

[girlsboysthems]

ayy thats sweet. what kind of art do you do?

 

[irregularreconcile]

ayy thats sweet. what kind of art do you do?

Sorry for the late reply; I'm a self taught multimedia artist ^_^ So I paint, write, sculpt, etc...

 

[girlsboysthems]

Sorry for the late reply; I'm a self taught multimedia artist ^_^ So I paint, write, sculpt, etc...

Thats really cool. working on anything in particular right now?

 

[irregularreconcile]

Thats really cool. working on anything in particular right now?

Just the christmas gifts! Thinking about making some minatures for myself once I'm all done. Do you like doing any arts? :^0

 

[Tarantula Girl]

After reading this and then your last post from days ago, I just wanted to let you know it is OCD. Over a decade ago I had read a news story about a beastiality case and started diving into that subject online. Ever since then, I go through periods of obsession over it, having weeks of dreams and reading, viewing stuff online about it. After enough time I'm able to get the intrusive thoughts controlled and go back to having that "fetish" locked away for months up to a year.
Luckily my husband lets me talk about it all to him without judgement. But yea, it's OCD.

 

[girlsboysthems]

Just the christmas gifts! Thinking about making some minatures for myself once I'm all done. Do you like doing any arts? :^0

i used to draw/doodle when i was younger (back in school days) and i enjoyed it very much, now I just cant do it anymore. My perfectionistic tendencies are too strong and every line I make is not right and then I spiral.

 

[irregularreconcile]

After reading this and then your last post from days ago, I just wanted to let you know it is OCD. Over a decade ago I had read a news story about a beastiality case and started diving into that subject online. Ever since then, I go through periods of obsession over it, having weeks of dreams and reading, viewing stuff online about it. After enough time I'm able to get the intrusive thoughts controlled and go back to having that "fetish" locked away for months up to a year.
Luckily my husband lets me talk about it all to him without judgement. But yea, it's OCD.

So sorry for the late reply; I appreciate your story and thank you for confiding in me regarding it. I'm glad to know I'm not alone honestly, and it makes me feel so much better.

My best wishes to you and your husband! Since having talked to my partner about it I've also found some reassurance regarding it. Thank you again :"^)