Venting 10th of April

[rainmoon]

That'll be the date I ctb. As heavy as the guilt is at the thought of my family finding me and having to live with it, I cannot go back to classes. I just can't. Suspension hanging seems to be my only viable option and though it won't be nice, if I want it bad enough it will work out. It's been on my mind almost constantly lately and I figure if I'm not gonna make it in this world then I may as well do it soon. As unlikely as it is, I hope all goes to plan and that it doesn't take long for me to pass out at least.

 

[JigsawFeelin]

I'm so sorry you feel this way. What's getting you down about classes?

 

[rainmoon]

I'm so sorry you feel this way. What's getting you down about classes?

Overall they're just far too much stress. These exams to get to a future that's so uncertain, that I'm not even sure I want. The workload is far too heavy and even when they're trying to help they just make it worse. I don't even have friends that make it slightly easier. I cannot keep up nor deal with the emotions that are caused by them, and no matter how many times I've tried to talk about it, it always gets brushed off. So I've given up. And the thought of never going back to them really fills me with relief.

 

[JigsawFeelin]

Overall they're just far too much stress. These exams to get to a future that's so uncertain, that I'm not even sure I want. The workload is far too heavy and even when they're trying to help they just make it worse. I don't even have friends that make it slightly easier. I cannot keep up nor deal with the emotions that are caused by them, and no matter how many times I've tried to talk about it, it always gets brushed off. So I've given up. And the thought of never going back to them really fills me with relief.

Stress wise, I get where you're coming from. I was in a similar boat when I was younger, the lack of friends too. All I can say is that your future can change. If there's flexibility in your studies, you may not even have to go down the career path you/your parents originally chose. Is it not something you can grin and bear? When are the exams?

 

[LifeQuitter2018]

Sounds like East Asia countries's typical education system. It really drives young people there to suicide.

 

[fred farkle]

Sounds like East Asia countries's typical education system. It really drives young people there to suicide.

is rainmoon asian?

 

[WornOutLife]

Really sorry to hear this but wish you a peaceful journey and lots of love!

 

[rainmoon]

Stress wise, I get where you're coming from. I was in a similar boat when I was younger, the lack of friends too. All I can say is that your future can change. If there's flexibility in your studies, you may not even have to go down the career path you/your parents originally chose. Is it not something you can grin and bear? When are the exams?

I guess it's not even the flexibility it's that I have nothing to strive towards. It feels as though I have no future and so the pain doesn't seem worth it. I have nothing to go into after all of this and society and the world make me hate living too, so it seems pointless to just push through it with the knowledge I'll probably end up ctb in the future anyways. My official exams are technically next year however mini assessment and essay questions are constant.