1-10 will you CTB someday

[ddn.ctb]

I am a10 amd much sooner than later!

 

[cats333]

i get super intense depression episodes and they can last years. so yeah definitely 10, the only thing that rly stops me is the fact that i dont have what i need to ctb successfully

 

[KafkaF]

First time I thought about CTB was when I was around 13.

Around 17 or 18 I accepted that I would probably die by my own hand some day.

So far I haven't done it yet, despite having wanted to many, many times throughout the years. I want to again nowadays. And I feel like even if I don't manage it during this depression, a new depression will come and make me end it.

The only thing that makes me doubt it, is I've historically been very hesitant to actually go through with it.

So I give it about 8 that I end things within the next year. And about a 9 that I end things eventually.

 

[paroxysm]

i am a 10 as well i hope i will get tools to successfully CTB. i've tried before so i'll try again either now or in the future.

 

[asian.neet]

8.5 I hope I die next month

 

[WonderingSoul]

10 (Hopefully). My SN might arrive (If I'm not scammed), tired of working, and I already bought a rope just in case. I'm even looking at other methods at the moment.

 

[SleepySept]

10. My (conscious) SI is kind of fucked, I've actually been disappointed by the lack of it during my past attempts. When I was in elementary school I would do dumb things like eat paper because my mother mentioned doing that would kill you lol.

 

[NocturnILL]

10. Some day, hopefully next month. I stopped giving myself false hope and just accept what I truly desire and what's meant to be.

 

[Wyldfyre4948]

Technically everyone is a 10. Everybody will ctb eventually, but it's more voluntary here. As much as I'd like to ctb on my own accord I'm a proven fuck up. It sucks that I'm always sitting here hoping to die, but I just can't get it right.

 

[FlyAwayHoney]

I would say a 10. Not a matter of if, but when for me.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Maybe a 7-8. It feels much more likely than not some day.

 

[ADeadBunny]

10, I'm going to order the cocktail of chemicals needed to end my suffering next week when I get paid. I've tried various other methods and they've all let me down, except for one in which I let myself down.

 

[stxrdustprincex]

i'm probably an 8. some days are better than others and i feel decent for a bit. it's pretty inevitable that i will ctb someday so it's really just a question of when

 

[username8888]

7 - 8

 

[NeedAnEscape]

I'm at a reasonable 7. I cannot stop fantasizing about the possibility of an escape. While it might not be too soon, I believe there is a strong possibility that I will die by own hand.

 

[Quill]

at this point in time I don't think I'll ctb jist yet but maybe on a 3?

 

[FuneralCry]

I do hope I eventually manage to die on my own terms but sadly it's not so straightforward in this pro-suffering world where we are denied the option of a guaranteed peaceful exit.

 

[springleaf]

7

 

[Ashu]

Maybe two or three, the way things are looking now. I'm here for the five attempts I made in my youth, and the lifelong brother- and sisterhood they ushered me into.

 

[Kit1]

7

 

[deadbody]

5-6

 

[SoulofSteel]

I'd say a 5 or 6, sometimes it goes up so much... and I don't know what method I could handle going through with. I simply wish I could just sleep to never wake up again, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

 

[Yaffle]

Having had a really bad day today I'm a firm 11.

If affairs were in order and method in place I'm ready.

I joined here bad; improved a bit for a few days then relapsed over the weekend and worse today.

Such a rollercoaster but it never stops, the thoughts never ever go.

Edit:
I should say I've been cycling through the peaks and troughs of depression and suicidal thoughts for many years. I know my mindset will improve, I'm just in a terribly dark place right now.

 

[Smelly_ballz]

10 - I want to do it asap. I just have to wait for the right moment. It felt right to do it over the weekend, but I had no resources to do it. I am only going to be able to do my primary plan tonight, but I might wait just not to fuck up Thanksgiving (U.S.) and do the secondary plan next weekend.

 

[kilowatt]

10, I'm a week and a half away

 

[konstantine_217]

7 I'm too much of a pussy to ctb, although it is the only thing I want and dream about for years. And unfortunately I have a family that I don't think could take it

 

[アホペンギン]

10