Thoughts on just moving somewhere new and completely starting again?

[StarsintheDarkness]

Anyone just want to leave everything behind sometimes. Just move somewhere else, leave everything else behind? Start again.

 

[innominesatanas44]

Of course. Why be trapped in one place, go see the world and grow your perspective. I am lucky I have nothing to care about in this shithole

 

[soulkitty]

I've done this a couple of times, moving to a whole new city or town and trying to start again. But somehow I always end up right back at the beginning where all of my trauma happened, it has never worked out for me. But I'm going to try again eventually. I think about this a lot

 

[didntitrain]

i think about this all the time, just don't have the confidence and i don't make connections easily. i fear i'll be stuck living with my mom forever

 

[Forever Sleep]

I've done it a few times. In my experience, it helps initially. New places to explore, people to get to know. New problems to keep you occupied. But- if you don't concentrate on the things that really hamper you in life- they just tend to follow you around.

I should have used the opportunity in my new starts to become less socially awkward/ more confident. I guess I tried initially but it's more comfortable to slip back into old habits that probably don't help us- isolating, eating and drinking badly etc. I guess I used to tell myself that I was facing enough change and scary things as it is.

But yeah, basically, I think it can help as a tool to start over. New people don't know you. You don't have to be reminded of who you were if you want to change but, you need to put in that effort to change and confront things that probably scare you, on top of being in a new place with less security and support.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

Your problems just follow you unless they are related to where you were living. I moved country and at first it's all nice and exciting but my problems are my family, my loneliness, emptiness and sadness. I felt the say way in a new country as I did before, the difference was that now I also missed my country's cuisine and was even more lonely.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

My main issues are with myself. There's no amount of moving I could do to get away from myself.

 

[StarsintheDarkness]

I've done this a couple of times, moving to a whole new city or town and trying to start again. But somehow I always end up right back at the beginning where all of my trauma happened, it has never worked out for me. But I'm going to try again eventually. I think about this a lot

Do you prefer to take personal belongings with you, things that are meaningful? Or just start completely fresh?

I've done it a few times. In my experience, it helps initially. New places to explore, people to get to know. New problems to keep you occupied. But- if you don't concentrate on the things that really hamper you in life- they just tend to follow you around.

I should have used the opportunity in my new starts to become less socially awkward/ more confident. I guess I tried initially but it's more comfortable to slip back into old habits that probably don't help us- isolating, eating and drinking badly etc. I guess I used to tell myself that I was facing enough change and scary things as it is.

But yeah, basically, I think it can help as a tool to start over. New people don't know you. You don't have to be reminded of who you were if you want to change but, you need to put in that effort to change and confront things that probably scare you, on top of being in a new place with less security and support.

Yeah, it's interesting how you can just be a whole new person. Completely switch up your personality. Because you are not confined to the image other people depict you as in their mind, people who have known you for a while.

 

[chestnut]

Yes, I can relate to that so much. I'm feeling that way most often after a break up or other major blows. Like that feeling of being in a car, going home and fantasizing about never stopping and driving through the night to someplace else. Never looking back.

While I agree, that problems within yourself will likely not be resolved by fleeing country, I feel like it holds potential for getting to know oneself better, having a positive outlook, and gaining life experience. It's no substitute for inner work and therapy though imo.

 

[halleyscomet]

I am planning to in the next couple of years. I plan to move to the other side of the country and cut all my relatives off, change my name ect... Most of my problems stem from trauma and people treating me poorly, if I have a new start I can try to build a good life for myself without these things holding me back.

 

[soulkitty]

Do you prefer to take personal belongings with you, things that are meaningful? Or just start completely fresh?

Yeah, it's interesting how you can just be a whole new person. Completely switch up your personality. Because you are not confined to the image other people depict you as in their mind, people who have known you for a while.

I prefer to take personal belongings that are meaningful but usually I'm not able to take much ;^^ just 2 suitcases worth of stuff including clothes. Although I have cut out a lot of meaningful belongings and just kept a few. What about you? Would you prefer to take meaningful items or start completely over?

 

[thepiecessatup]

Anyone just want to leave everything behind sometimes. Just move somewhere else, leave everything else behind? Start again.

Wherever I go, I am. It's horrendous. I have moved about so much and I've still ending up feeling like rubbish. I just want to CTB and be done with it but something is stopping me. I think it I had access to a peaceful way, then I wouldn't hesitate for a second.

 

[Rocinante]

Relocation to a new location where nobody knows you, and you don't know them, is ideal
Fresh start, it's like having a new identity.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

This is another topic that I have conflicting thoughts on...

Yes I would like to move somewhere different from where I am now, and build a life for myself, but I also have some feeling of attachment to where I live currently, and this is strange because I do not usually form attachment to people or places. The few individual people who I used to know well had moved on many years ago, so there is not much here for me anymore, and yet despite this I feel that I will be missing out on something if I ever do move away. I want to escape from where I feel trapped, but do not want to feel as if I am abandoning anything good.

 

[derpyderpins]

Anyone just want to leave everything behind sometimes. Just move somewhere else, leave everything else behind? Start again.

It sounds like a great dream. It would hurt too many people for me, in my big family, but if I could just go and start over with no pressures from anyone, no expectations, no reputation and connections, that sounds so freeing.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Since around late elementary/middle school, I used to have the urge to run away, though I never cared about starting it over again. I either wanted to kill myself or suffer in some way, such as being a homeless drug addict or going into prostitution.

 

[1MiserableGuy]

I did this when I turned 19 to start a career as a professional musician. I lived that life for seven years. Then it came to an abrupt end when the world shut down over a lie in 2020 and I had an unplanned kid.

 

[Motoko]

Anyone just want to leave everything behind sometimes. Just move somewhere else, leave everything else behind? Start again.

I was just going to post a similar thread like this.

I've never moved in my life and I will be 30 soon. I often thought about moving to another city, but it was just daydreaming. Now I have too many physical and mental conditions and I'm afraid that I will be no longer able to do that, because my health will probably get worse and worse. I'm afraid that one day I will have to be dependent on other people.

Also, nostalgia is holding me back. I often take a walk to visit some old places. My feet can touch the same ground they were walking on 20 years ago. If I moved to another city or country, I wouldn't be able to do that anymore, damn it. If I move then I can't see the same places. I'm stuck in a nostalgic loop.

What also sucks is the fact that I will never have my own apartment, so I would have to rent rooms for the rest of my life. Although I guess I still will have to do that even in my current city. This is devastating that I have to be a slave and work until I die and on top of that live in strange places, none of which will be ever truly mine.

On another hand sometimes I think that maybe it's worth trying, maybe it would be freeing at least for a while. Maybe it's better to die trying?

 

[HereTomorrow]

I've considered moving to South Korea, though I know my circumstances mentally will be worse. Ultimately I'd want to move somewhere in my country. Most of my family is in one area though, I'll admitingly miss visiting them occionally unless I pay a lot of money to travel back.

Also, my trauma will probably stick with me. I need to escape from myself, not exactly my area.

 

[thebelljarrr]

It's all the same for me. I hate the idea of living so much. Maybe I would like a life removed from everything in the woods with only my books or something, if only it was possible

 

[delta.sigma]

No matter where you go, you'll always be you.

 

[L0neW0lf]

No matter where you go, you'll always be you.

it's a curse

 

[lazyeye]

I moved across the country 7 years ago to a place that I found so much peace in. It took so long, but i felt so at home here. I still find some kind of peace here, but it's fleeting, compared to when I was just a visitor. It took five years for the same problems I had before I left to for them to catch up to me. It took six years for those problems to completely consume me again. It took seven years for those same problems to make me feel like a child again, like I'm severely regressive, like I never moved past them at all. Point being, I think you can leave to a new place. Just figure your shit out first. The change in environment won't last long without doing that.

 

[Lucid7972]

tried a few times, it doesn't help

 

[Hvergelmir]

I've swiftly cut contact with all social circles twice.
I've moved around quite a bit, and to other countries, twice.

To me each attempt to start a new life has been more successful than the last. I highly recommend it.
That said, it requires courage (or sufficient despair) and serious effort. It has also failed to remedy some deep rooted issues. It's in no way a quick fix to everything, but it could be what you need. It also doesn't have to be irreversible, if you don't want to make it so.

 

[Heartaches]

100%, but I have no energy and I'm incompetent at many things in life, so I have no hope I'll actually be able to make.

 

[accountnamerequired]

Anyone just want to leave everything behind sometimes. Just move somewhere else, leave everything else behind? Start again.

I would absolutely love to do that, I think me and a lot of people here would prefer to restart life with all current problems and debts gone instead of ctb. I just don't have that kind of luck

 

[onbekend]

I've thought about it, But nothing ever came to fruition. Regardless if I were given the chance maybe I'd even consider doing it myself just so I can be alone in my final months.

 

[theboy]

yes and no