Did you ask your parents why they chose to have you? If so, what did they tell you?

[Havnis]

I have four siblings. When I asked my parents why they chose to have that many, I never got an answer. The only thing I got from them was that life without children is boring or that God chose that. It's like saying life is so fucked up, so we chose to have children so they cheer us up, but they also totally ignored the fact that we will also be bored and miserable too. I started to think that children are a reflection of their parents's lusty desires. I don't think there's a profound reason to have children. It is totally irrational nonetheless; it is like playing video games, listening to music, or going on a trip, but at the cost of the suffering of another being, children are only used to fill the parents's emotional gap. I think the universe is tricking us into having children using sex and love.

 

[escape_from_hell]

I think the universe is tricking us into having children using sex and love.

This sadly. Antinatalists don't stand a chance arguing with genital playtime, baby looks cutie, and narcissistic legacy fantasies.

 

[whywere]

I have said this millions of times on here. My "parents" wanted 1 boy and 1 girl. Well like a lot of aspects in this life it did not turn out that way. I have a older brother and a younger sister. When I was born and the doctor informed my "parents" that I was a male and NOT a female child, they at first was going to leave me at the hospital for adoption. Well back in 1956 that would have made my "parents" look REAL bad in public where they lived, so I was taken "home" and endured 18 years of being called "the mistake" and at the age of 18 being kicked out, homeless and hungry and never hearing from them again, 100% their choice.

So, I agree with @Havnis that I wonder why people have kids. I never did and never missed it, never.

Walter

 

[Kalista]

from what i somewhat remember, a product of rape from the biological dad. my mom was raped a lot by him even if she didn't admit the real reason. she still loved him even after all the beatings she got.
also i wasn't supposed to be born because i think my mom got her tubes tied, because of that she has called me for the duration of my childhood 'lucky baby.' i never liked it even though i'd shy away from it with a smile as a child. i think of it in a worse way now that i'm far more aware at this age.

yep, couples want a child to make themselves happy or to fulfill some idiotic idea of responsibility stemming from a culture, or societal pressure -- usually religious-based. religion also puts a stop to getting an abortion. so there goes that child who had no damn choice to be born.
anyways, i get it, we need people to keep progress going in this planet. otherwise it'd be a struggle to even create what we have now such as technological advances due to lack of population. yet many shouldn't have been born in the first place and we're the ones to suffer from their bullshit. i especially hate it when they choose to have a fucking child when they can't afford to support one in the first place or even five. damn idiots.

 

[lizzywizzy09]

I was a bandaid baby to fix my parents' shitty marriage. I wasn't enough to do that.

 

[Heartaches]

My "father" was having an affair with my mother, For some unclear reason, he wanted to have another kid, even though he already had children. My mother, deeply in love with him, agreed, and that's how I came into the mix.

I resent being born. It just feels so selfish to me. My "dad" says he loves me but has barely been present in my life, hasn't supported me in almost any way and demeans many of my experiences. I don't understand why he wanted another child if he was never going to be present and emotionally disconnected. I don't understand why he cheated on his wife. He blames my mom for his own mistakes and for everything negative that I've been through. He's a fucking misogynist who loves to talk shit, thinking he's smart, when he's an ignorant fool thinking he knows everything.

I'm trying to break, or at least, limit my contact with him as much as possible. He had his chances.​

 

[Havnis]

This sadly. Antinatalists don't stand a chance arguing with genital playtime, baby looks cutie, and narcissistic legacy fantasies.

The thing is not about genitals but about love. When someone loves somebody too much, they want them to be happy, sex can provide that, but at the same time, they don't want their offspring to suffer which is impossible, so it is kind of contradictory. I think it's a trap.

 

[AnonThinker]

I was an oops. My mom was on birth control and was planning to leave my father when she found out she was pregnant (abortion wasn't legal then). Took her another 3yrs before she finally left after that.

My mom has been a great mom. So won't ctb until she's left the earth. My dad, I don't care. He wasn't/still isn't all that great.

 

[SMmetalhead36]

I never have, because I saw him 3 times and her once and had phone conversations with her and I told her she should have got an abortion with me like she did the other 4 she supposedly had. Her response " that's how you feel?"

 

[whywere]

I was an oops. My mom was on birth control and was planning to leave my father when she found out she was pregnant (abortion wasn't legal then). Took her another 3yrs before she finally left after that.

My mom has been a great mom. So won't ctb until she's left the earth. My dad, I don't care. He wasn't/still isn't all that great.

Thank you! It is so refreshing to be able to read such a loving connection. It is something that I never have had, and it always makes me both long for one and also feel so much love and warmth towards both parties involved.

Again, THANK YOU for sharing and have a GREAT week filled with love, sunny blue skies and the love of me and so many others here.

Walter

 

[Praestat_Mori]

My parents wanted to have me so much, they did everything to have a child and I really can't complain about anything. I had a wonderful childhood. It's not their fault that I failed in my early 40's and my life turned into shit.

 

[everythingoes]

I didn't ask them, but I know the whole story.
It was basically a forced marriage. My mom didn't have a choice, once she finished high school, her parents didn't allow her to continue her studies, they said "that's it, now you must get married and have children". I will always resent them for that. Had she continued her studies, her life would've been much better and I would've never been born. They didn't even allow her to find someone SHE liked, they somehow got into contact with my dad's parents and they agreed to marry them. She had zero say in it. She was 18 and he was 30. She had no choice but to give him children. I was first, then my brother followed a few years later. From what I know, the first few years of our family were relatively okay, we were very poor, but at least the abuse hadn't started yet.

So yeah, it all began from my grandparents from mom's side. Those stupid old religious fucks with sheep mentality. I'm an atheist but boy do I hope a hell exists just for them.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

My dad wanted to have a family like my grandparents and my mom just always wanted kids. I love them, but I honestly wish they didn't decide to have me. They were still living with my grandparents when I was born, then I spent part of my toddler years in an abuse shelter with my mom, then her and my dad moved into an apartment together, and then they got divorced when I was in grade 1 and I ended up living in another women's shelter for several months. Their relationship wasn't healthy, as you can tell, lol. I really would have preferred never existing, but here I am...

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I never asked them directly but I figured out why based on the information they shared as well as their mindset. They had me because they wanted somebody who can take care of them during old age as well as somebody who can unconditionally love them until they die. They also had me because of religion as well as asian culture. I was meant to be born only to satisfy them and take care of them when I work. However, that backfired immensely because I was born with autism which means that I don't really have the desire to take care of them nor do I have the ability to take care of them. Apparently my mum cried a lot once she found out I had autism... she must have realised that she's fucked and that I wouldn't be able to provide for her. They deserve to get fucked like that because, if you want to play stupid games, you win stupid prizes. Hopefully I die early so that I can escape serving them even more than I have to

 

[eatantz]

I was a one night stand baby, my dad wanted an abortion. My mum ,coming from a religious country, is very prolife so she had me since 'life is precious'.

 

[Mirrory Me]

That's a really good question. I guess it just happened spontaneously in nature, but they took it pretty well I suppose. They did a lot for me and my sister... We weren't much physically present in our lives, but that kinda pushed me to create my own things and interests.

 

[rozeske]

I did when I was a kid, was told it was to have me serve them and do all they wish. I later learned my mom wasn't happy about the pregnancy and wanted to abort but it was my dad who insisted that he wanted the baby. I then ended up with a mom who never wanted me and a dad that was more absent than an absent father.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

I never asked my parents why they had me, but from other conversations I can connect the dots a bit and know why. I know my mom always wanted to have children, she wanted 3 girls especifically. I think this is because my mother had two other sisters and their family life was hard so I figured she wanted to try having 3 girls and give them good lives. For my father I don't know, I think he probably just said "yes" to what my mother wanted.

My childhood was great. My mom worked very, very hard so we could have a comfortable life. My father gave up on his dream job so he could provide a steady income. One of my mother's sisters would bring lots of presents for us at Christmas, she was single at the time, and the other aunt also treated us so well. Some years went on and my mother changed jobs so she could earn more money and we could live a better life. She sacrificed so much free time and time with us so she could earn that big cash... It was because of her that we were able to move to a very nice flat in the city centre.

I think she focused so much on providing for us, having enough money so we could go to university, all of those things that she forgot to spend time with us. Most of my memories are of her chatting on the phone with clients, on her laptop working, me at her job watching her work.

Then suddenly she was terminally ill and died. After that nothing was the same, our family was destroyed and my father would tell us he wished he never had us, wished he never met our mom.

 

[JKFleck]

Nah I have no balls to ask but can predict the results

I'd be labeled as evil and ungrateful kid (yeah I should be grateful for being forced into life lmfao)

 

[Zanmato]

They just wanted two children.
And I'm the second.
Hurray, what a luck

 

[Meteora]

I m the second of three children. They planed and wanted me. So far so good. But what came after I was born..... was just horrible.

 

[MapleSyrupVein]

sex.
they fucked up and had my sister then my mom survived more abuse just so she could have me so my sister isn't alone.
went great considering she doesn't talk to me and there 5 photos of me but an entire 7 albums of my sister

 

[Lady Laudanum]

I didn't ask. Why ask, if you know you're not going to like the answer?

 

[crystal_meth97]

Yes, I did, I asked my mom and dad. They told me they wanted a child, like they felt the need to have a child and it was the right time to have me. They had the best intentions and I was sort of planned. I resented them for a while for choosing to bring me into this shithole, but not so much nowadays, I'm trying to understand and be reasonable, though I'm an antinatalist myself.

 

[Havnis]

sex.
they fucked up and had my sister then my mom survived more abuse just so she could have me so my sister isn't alone.
went great considering she doesn't talk to me and there 5 photos of me but an entire 7 albums of my sister

I hate when they bring people to life as instruments for something without autonomy. It feels even worse.

 

[Catch-22]

I have asked her but never got an answer .. I know my father married my mother because she was pregnant with my sister which is 2 years older than me. I believe she got pregnant with me so my dad would not leave. I don't think she really wanted children. If she wanted children she wouldn't have neglected me and basically walked away from taking proper care of me when I was so young.

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

They just wanted two children.
And I'm the second.
Hurray, what a luck

Same. My parents wanted 2 kids and that's it

 

[whywere]

sex.
they fucked up and had my sister then my mom survived more abuse just so she could have me so my sister isn't alone.
went great considering she doesn't talk to me and there 5 photos of me but an entire 7 albums of my sister

100% am the same. All over here about how I was "the mistake"

My heart goes out to you, as you are such a wonderful person.

Walter

 

[untothedepths]

Never asked directly, but the only reason why I wasn't aborted was because my dad wanted a little girl. He went on later to SA my ass. Guess I know why he wanted a daughter. Wish I was aborted. Thanks dad.

 

[Forveleth]

My mom came from a bigger family with a lot of siblings, so she's always wanted children. My dad told me after I was a grown adult that he didn't actually want kids and just gave in from my mom pressuring him. I figured this as my childhood was very rocky with him and it was obvious he didn't want me around and didn't know how to handle a child. Left me fucked up for life. Thanks dad!