Discussion Writing your suicide note

[Life_and_Death]

does/did anyone feel sick writing their note? im trying to write it but the more and more i write the more and more i feel sick and my head hurts/feels dizzy. i just want to write it and get it over with but im not feeling good (and the throwing up emoji that we either dont have or i missed)

 

[TheLomboq]

I´m sorry to hear that. I find in general, that the more depressed people get, the harder the find it to write or read. So you´re not alone in that!

Have you perhaps thought of doing a recording or a video instead? I would prefer that tbh. It strikes me as much more personal and intimate

 

[ClairyFairy]

Nope. I partly think what's the point and then the other part of me thinks that I'd be writing to everyone how it wasn't their fault. I've wrote one before with all my funeral plans. They got found when I was sectioned

 

[Life_and_Death]

Have you perhaps thought of doing a recording or a video instead? I would prefer that tbh. It strikes me as much more personal and intimate

no that would be emotionally harder on me, plus i want to do kind of like a layout where i have before, now and conclusion basically and keeping my thoughts straight is damn near impossible for me. i would have to redo the video a million times.

you arent a prolifer trying to trick me into postponing it are you?

 

[ClairyFairy]

does/did anyone feel sick writing their note? im trying to write it but the more and more i write the more and more i feel sick and my head hurts/feels dizzy. i just want to write it and get it over with but im not feeling good (and the throwing up emoji that we either dont have or i missed)

Sorry made heads a mess I didn't realise what you were saying

 

[Breakout92]

Mine took like a week for me to write the first draft. Then when i wrote out the final draft I did that over the course of 3 days. It's really hard and emotional so sometimes you may have to take breaks, and that's ok.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Sorry made heads a mess I didn't realise what you were saying

thats ok, i accept. it actually kind of made me happy to see this. im so sick of people "understanding" while im playing hockey and theyre playing baseball (just an example for how far off people are no matter how much i explain it) or people making stupid comments that had nothing to do with anything expect prove they didnt read past the title. its honestly one of my reasons for committing im so sick of it. although your comment wasnt as far off compared to what im referring to in this comment

 

[ClairyFairy]

Thank you @Life_and_Death I hope that you can find the strength you need. It is hard everything you want to say will drain you emotionally. Like someone else said it's ok to take a break. The letter sends you on an emotional roller coaster. When I did mine with the plans I worked on it for a week

 

[TheLomboq]

no that would be emotionally harder on me, plus i want to do kind of like a layout where i have before, now and conclusion basically and keeping my thoughts straight is damn near impossible for me. i would have to redo the video a million times.

you arent a prolifer trying to trick me into postponing it are you?

Quite the opposite haha. Thought that speaking into a camera or a recorder would make thigs much quicker- lest you get back into just being plain depressed. Then again, I work in film so perhaps I'm biased.

But yeah as others already said, focus on making incremental steps. Just write as much as you're able to everyday- doesn't matter how ranty, unpolished or bad it might be. There will always be something that you can use

 

[WornOutLife]

I remembe crying and crying again as I was writing my notes.

What's more, I wrote about 10, even one for my lovely dog lol.

 

[Disappointered]

Sometimes I feel like there's no point in a note or that I just don't care about anything because my suicide exists in a breakdown of reason and reality that isn't my problem to indulge with a note. Other times I try writing one but I don't have much to say because it's such a lost cause to get people to understand so all I'd be doing is wasting time. I guess I will just put something down to help the one person I still care about move on with her life and that's about it.

 

[Beautiful Angel]

does/did anyone feel sick writing their note? im trying to write it but the more and more i write the more and more i feel sick and my head hurts/feels dizzy. i just want to write it and get it over with but im not feeling good (and the throwing up emoji that we either dont have or i missed)

I feel sick to my stomach about wanting to give up to because I know I'm going to actually do it it makes me physically sick that's probably the same thing you've got going on we've held on to Long and got too much pain from hanging on

 

[Life_and_Death]

... that's probably the same thing you've got going on...

At no point did I say or infer that I didn't know why I felt sick, all I did was ask if others felt that way as well.

 

[smithy]

I am not sure if I would write one.
i have tried. And completely understand what you are going through. I would just keep it simply and direct to the point. Like a lawyers letter.

 

[orlandom]

does/did anyone feel sick writing their note? im trying to write it but the more and more i write the more and more i feel sick and my head hurts/feels dizzy. i just want to write it and get it over with but im not feeling good (and the throwing up emoji that we either dont have or i missed)

Tears flowed when I wrote.