• If you haven't yet, we highly encourage you to check out our Recovery Resources thread!
  • Hey Guest,

    If you want to donate, we have a thread with updated donation options here at this link: About Donations

F

Fr2

Member
Jun 15, 2019
84
Hi,
due to circumstances, I have big troubles with providing for myself. It's all complicated and true, like it is with everybody's problems...

My reason for ctb is an emotional/mental huge cluster of things. Sometimes it's so strong, that the delay in delivery of my substance is the only reason why I'm still here. But I also have a damn lot of fight in me. I only need time to fight and fight again, and I need a roof over my head and basic commodities for that to be feasible. On the streets, time will become just another enemy of mine.

I thought I owe myself that much as trying to ask for financial help.

Thank you
 
  • Like
Reactions: Baskol1
T

Thanatos

Outsider
Mar 23, 2018
356
Is there disability pay where you're from? That's what I've done or I'd be struggling a lot. Good luck but not sure this is the best place to look
 
F

Fr2

Member
Jun 15, 2019
84
@Thanatos thank you for reading and for the idea. I have no chance to get a disability pay though, for more than one reason.

I don't hold much hope here, this attempt is as desperate as it looks like :) But I tried to ask for it in every other place (and way) I could think of
 
F

Fr2

Member
Jun 15, 2019
84
Have you tried on reddit? If i may ask
I think this may not be allowed here.
No, I'll look into it. Thank you :) Do you know a more or less specific place on reddit?

In case this is not allowed here, I'm sorry and I hope this topic will be deleted without incidents. I'm ashamed of it anyway... I would be relieved to see it gone.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: Soul and Donewith_
D

Donewith_

Elementalist
Sep 28, 2018
874
No, I'll look into it. Thank you :) Do you know a more or less specific place on reddit?

In case this is not allowed here, I'm sorry and I hope this topic will be deleted without incidents. I'm ashamed of it anyway... I would be relieved to see it gone.
r/Assistance
r/basicneeds
(But asking for financial help is not allowed in basicneed subred i think..but helping, receiving other groceries, other items is allowed as far as i have seen..check it out)

Sorry..i didn't mean to make you feel bad. We all need support sometimes when we are having hard times. Hope it'll be a bit helpful to you.
 
F

Fr2

Member
Jun 15, 2019
84
@Donewith_ thank you!
You didn't make me feel bad, I started the topic with the uncomfortable feelings already there :)
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Soul and Donewith_
F

Fr2

Member
Jun 15, 2019
84
@Shamana , to buy myself time to find a solution for those episodes of intense suicidality to not happen anymore.
 
F

Fr2

Member
Jun 15, 2019
84
What country are you in.
Its a simple question, What country are you in ?
Sorry for not replying to your previous post, forgot... :I I would prefer to not disclose my location unless really necessary. I can say though that I won't stay long where I am, if I don't manage to do something about my financial situation.


I realize I have accentuated here two contradictory things. On one hand suicide is imminent, I'm basically at the whim of those waves of despair, and on the other I speak as if I can control how I react to them, as if those waves are handleable. The thing is, it's a race, whichever comes first, the solution or the queen of despair. I fight every second, but when she comes, all my power means nothing. I'm just trying to make the 'revolution' happen before she hits me while in possession of my means of ctb.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Righttodie
F

Fr2

Member
Jun 15, 2019
84
@Kirkscoobz , I don't think it's strange, if the question about the country is not put in a context. Also you remind me of my mother... acting like if I ask for help, that means I'm elligible for being treated curtly.
 
F

Fr2

Member
Jun 15, 2019
84
Oh well,
If your asking for funds how in gods name is any one gonna help if you won't provide even your country,
Because yourgonna have to provide an address or bankining details to receive any money.
Of course I would share details, if such help is offered, it would be in a private conversation. I mean, we're not really on a normal forum here, public sharing is somewhat sensitive.
 
F

Fr2

Member
Jun 15, 2019
84
I think I found my solution.
I'm going into full reset mode. If I am right, in a week or so I will be mentally sane and capable of taking a job, so the money problem is no longer actual. Luckily my sn won't arrive until next saturday, so I'll have my chance to remain alive in this period no matter what black I'll go through.

When I created this thread, I half expected to be aggressed. I wasn't and I appreciate that. Thank you again for the suggestions and support.

I know I haven't been compassionate on this website (or anywhere for that matter), that's because I was uncapable to have such feeling. I'm sorry for treating you like you're not real.

I'll give myself a couple of hours to consider if I prefer to self-ban or not, because I already self-banned once and the privilege of only one unban has been used.

If anybody is interested in what is my solution, it is to tamper with the subconscious, stored both in the brain and in the body. I'm confident I have identified the feeling signature of the two chemicals which dictate subconscious automatisms. I'm going to be a wreck for a week, after that I should be able to program myself subconsciously as I see fit. Hope to make this work and to make the whole nightmare I've been through count.

Be well...
 
k75

k75

L'appel du Vide
Jun 27, 2019
2,541
How, exactly, do you plan on doing this?

Just a thought, if such a thing is possible, it might be helpful to stay unbanned so you can update if your idea works.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Baskol1
Kirkscoobz

Kirkscoobz

Experienced
Feb 8, 2019
219
would be nice if it was normal practice for posters to ahow country - like i see your area and i show my county - helps facilitate conversations
Hi,
Its what I was and tried to explain, but they thought it strange that I asked what country they were in, it was then questioned that I then thought it strange, very odd, but hey its all good.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Baskol1
HGL91

HGL91

Warlock
Jul 2, 2019
720
Dang. @Fr2 decided to do the 2nd ban. Hope they don't regret it...
 
  • Like
Reactions: Baskol1

Similar threads

imcrashingout
Replies
10
Views
312
Recovery
greatblueheron
greatblueheron
demonac
Replies
4
Views
316
Suicide Discussion
demonac
demonac
DarknessInMe
Replies
3
Views
207
Recovery
Equaldentist
E
DarkRange55
Replies
17
Views
327
Politics & Philosophy
DarkRange55
DarkRange55