Will try ketamine therapy

[kettlevinbarq]

My husband keeps begging me not to ctb so I will try ketamine to see if it helps. I really want to die but a small part of me also wishes to just be able to live like a normal person.

My brain is just so incredibly overwhelmed by anything that I can't bear to live anymore. 2 days ago, I played a board game and lost. This caused me to spiral so I started bashing my head into the wall and locked myself in the bathroom and cut myself. Going through stuff like this everyday is torture.

I've been in therapy and taken meds for 12-13 years and nothing has really stuck. I just remembered ketamine therapy was a thing and I mean, if I'm gonna die I might as well try it since I have nothing to lose. In the past, recreationally, I've done a fat line of K before without really knowing much about it and fell in the k-hole. It was awful and I hated it so I never even considered Ketamine therapy. I'm at the end of my rope here and read good things about it so I guess it doesn't hurt to try.

Will report how it goes.
If you've done it, lmk your experience.

 

[Dot]

Jst an FYI tht if u r lookng fr thngs t/ try thn thre = info abt lts of dffrnt approachs on https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/therapy-methods-explained-under-construction.139570/

Also info abt dffrnt psychdelc therpis etc also

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I hope it helps you. It didn't help me and was very expensive though maybe that aspect is better nowadays. In any case, everyone is different so everyone's anecdotal evidence as to its efficacy isn't really that relevant.

 

[kettlevinbarq]

Jst an FYI tht if u r lookng fr thngs t/ try thn thre = info abt lts of dffrnt approachs on https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/therapy-methods-explained-under-construction.139570/

Also info abt dffrnt psychdelc therpis etc also

thank you!

I hope it helps you. It didn't help me and was very expensive though maybe that aspect is better nowadays. In any case, everyone is different so everyone's anecdotal evidence as to its efficacy isn't really that relevant.

good to know so I can manage my expectations. is there anything that has helped you?

 

[trashhologram]

Good luck, I hope that helps! I would absolutely love to try ketamine therapy but it's very, very hard to get here in Finland and I'm a junkie soooo... No ketamine for me.

 

[kettlevinbarq]

Good luck, I hope that helps! I would absolutely love to try ketamine therapy but it's very, very hard to get here in Finland and I'm a junkie soooo... No ketamine for me.

damn sorry that sucks. it's so unfair that you don't have the opportunity to get help. I hope you can find what you need another way.

also baby let me decompose is hilarious

 

[trashhologram]

damn sorry that sucks. it's so unfair that you don't have the opportunity to get help. I hope you can find what you need another way.

also baby let me decompose is hilarious

Yeah, it sucks. I'll get mental health help when I get clean and unfortunately I'm not ready yet.

Haha, it's from the song New Chains, Same Schackles by $uicideboy$. One of my favourite songs ever!

 

[kettlevinbarq]

Yeah, it sucks. I'll get mental health help when I get clean and unfortunately I'm not ready yet.

Haha, it's from the song New Chains, Same Schackles by $uicideboy$. One of my favourite songs ever!

having the intention is very good. I'm rooting for ya!

and omg i love $uicideboy$ songs but haven't listened to this one. ty I will take this with me everywhere now

 

[KafkaF]

Yeah, I want to try ketamine too. But I have to be on at least a 6 month waiting list before I can even talk to a psychiatrist. So I'm not sure whether I'll last that long. But it is one of the few things I haven't tried and I would be willing to give it a shot.

Anyway, good luck with the treatment. I hope it works.

 

[trashhologram]

having the intention is very good. I'm rooting for ya!

and omg i love $uicideboy$ songs but haven't listened to this one. ty I will take this with me everywhere now

Thank you ❤

Oh, you need to listen to it! It's amazing and Scrims verse hits me straight in the feels hard! It's a masterpiece

 

[Dot]

Yeah, I want to try ketamine too. But I have to be on at least a 6 month waiting list before I can even talk to a psychiatrist. So I'm not sure whether I'll last that long. But it is one of the few things I haven't tried and I would be willing to give it a shot.

Anyway, good luck with the treatment. I hope it works.

Thre mght b sme clincl trials in ur cntry whch cld b fastr

Psychedelic Clinical Trial: Enroll in Psychedelic Research Today

Follow these steps to join an ongoing psychedelic clinical trial today. Use the map and list to search for current research studies near you.

psychedelic.support

 

[LaVieEnRose]

thank you!

good to know so I can manage my expectations. is there anything that has helped you?

Not really. Certainly nothing in the MH world. I don't think I could ever define benefit from something clinical. It can only come from my personal life.

 

[oddetoad]

Just beware of the side effects that can come with frequent ketamine use ..

Incontinence is one of them and the reason I never jumped on the ketamine spray or infusions

 

[kettlevinbarq]

Yeah, I want to try ketamine too. But I have to be on at least a 6 month waiting list before I can even talk to a psychiatrist. So I'm not sure whether I'll last that long. But it is one of the few things I haven't tried and I would be willing to give it a shot.

Anyway, good luck with the treatment. I hope it works.

I mean, it's worth a shot. I know someone who does it with K you buy from your local drug dealer. the hard thing is dosing properly and purity but if you have no other options, could be an option. get a K testing kit as well as a fentanyl one. if all's well then microdose with a key bump until you reach the place you want. idk just an idea

Thank you ❤

Oh, you need to listen to it! It's amazing and Scrims verse hits me straight in the feels hard! It's a masterpiece

ahhh ty for the rec you are an icon
h

Just beware of the side effects that can come with frequent ketamine use ..

Incontinence is one of them and the reason I never jumped on the ketamine spray or infusions

how frequent is frequent? I'm doing the troche version and it's a microdose everyday for several months. you don't trip or fall in the khole so is microdosing everyday ok?

 

[KafkaF]

I mean, it's worth a shot. I know someone who does it with K you buy from your local drug dealer. the hard thing is dosing properly and purity but if you have no other options, could be an option. get a K testing kit as well as a fentanyl one. if all's well then microdose with a key bump until you reach the place you want. idk just an idea

ahhh ty for the rec you are an icon
h

how frequent is frequent? I'm doing the troche version and it's a microdose everyday for several months. you don't trip or fall in the khole so is microdosing everyday ok?

Definitely not gonna do it myself. I'm either going to do it the official way or not at all. Not going to risk messing up my life even more by trying to get illegal drugs or risk using it improperly and damaging myself.

 

[kettlevinbarq]

Definitely not gonna do it myself. I'm either going to do it the official way or not at all. Not going to risk messing up my life even more by trying to get illegal drugs or risk using it improperly and damaging myself.

do you not have something like mindbloom in your country?

 

[Pg.964]

Did ketamine through the IV straight into the veins, cost 3000. 6 sessions with temporary minor relief on the 6th session.
Also tried the mindbloom stuff (oral ket) cost 1000 and I honestly hated it it's hard to get the dosage right and the effects are weaker.
So to sum things up for me I got 4000 dollars less in my bank account and it didn't do shit.

 

[kettlevinbarq]

Did ketamine through the IV straight into the veins, cost 3000. 6 sessions with temporary minor relief on the 6th session.
Also tried the mindbloom stuff (oral ket) cost 1000 and I honestly hated it it's hard to get the dosage right and the effects are weaker.
So to sum things up for me I got 4000 dollars less in my bank account and it didn't do shit.

damn that sucks. I hope you find something that works for you :(

 

[kettlevinbarq]

I signed up for an at home ketamine program and the troches are supposed to come next week. Yesterday, I was feeling really bad though and felt like I couldn't wait and was really going to off myself. My husband had some recreational powdered ketamine so I decide to try that instead. The at home ketamine program consultant had warned me that K could cause nausea so I took the Zofran I had.

I was pleasantly surprised how well the experience went. I felt like it instantly curbed my suicidal thoughts. Songs that used to make me really emotional and sad, I either felt very happy listening to them or had no feelings towards them anymore. I laughed a lot. I didn't do very much so it only lasted like an hour or so and didn't fall in the khole. After, I just felt a mild headache and was a little thirsty but other than that I felt very light. Today, I feel fine and don't feel suicidal. Remembering that I was suicidal a few days ago, when the thought comes up, I feel like I automatically just block any more thoughts on it, just stops. I don't really have any negative thoughts right now. Thinking about things that used to bring me anxiety, I don't really feel any anxiety, just neutral. I just feel a little dizzy right now and my memory is not as quick but other than that I feel pretty ok.

I used to be obsessed with suicide and for the past month it was all I could think about and was paralyzed at home just planning it and on this forum all the time. When I think of my SN right now, I feel pretty indifferent to it. I think I'll be able to be semi-productive today and not obsess over suicide.

As of right now, I can say that K quite literally saved my life. I don't know what it will be like in a few days but we'll see. I don't know what the at home ketamine program results will be like because it could have different effects (iv K too) but honestly, street K is pretty nice, and it's cheap. My local drug dealer has veterinary K so I'll try that too and see how it goes. I'll also report how the at home troches go as well.

FYI this is just my personal experience

 

[Mayonaise]

I signed up for an at home ketamine program and the troches are supposed to come next week.

I really, really hope it works for you

 

[kettlevinbarq]

I really, really hope it works for you

Thank you! It is working! It's definitely lifted me from my rock bottom. I have to do it 1-2 times a week or I feel low again but I think that's pretty manageable. I think I'm gonna stay in the world a while longer and see how it goes.




I used to be obsessed with this site because I was so dead serious about CTB but because of K, I haven't even visited the site for a month. ty ketamine.

FYI i do not like the at home ketamine program because the oral tablets are really hard to take and make me throw up so I went to my local dealer and got some medical grade vials of K and made a nasal spray with it. much, much cheaper and no vomiting.

 

[Mayonaise]

Thank you! It is working!

FYI i do not like the at home ketamine program because the oral tablets are really hard to take and make me throw up so I went to my local dealer and got some medical grade vials of K and made a nasal spray with it. much, much cheaper and no vomiting.

Happy to hear that you're feeling better, but I don't quite understand if the K you're taking is from a medical source or just recreational stuff. I'm not familiar with K at all so I'd like to hear more, please. Thanks

 

[MBG]

People should also consider Magic Mushrooms/psilocybin. Oregon and Colorado have legalized them and treatment clinics are opening (costing thousands per "trip"). LOTS of cities around the USA have decriminalized magic mushrooms and many more are trying to decriminalize them this year. See "Decriminalize Nature" online. RESEARCH HOW TO SAFELY USE THEM ONLINE FIRST!!!

Just take a vacation to one of those cities. Spend a few days there at a local hotel/motel. Visit local head shops to ask where to buy chocolate bars with MM (only ~$50 each). Take back to local hotel. HAVE A SOBER SITTER. Start low and work up over several days. Crush up and dump any excess down hotel room toilet. That's it! No need to smuggle product across state lines or in luggage on airplane. Don't try to resell them. Even if caught, someone suicidal just trying to self medicate is unlikely to be a priority for Fed law enforcement.

Some changes in thought immediate, other insights over weeks or months. Make another trip in 6 months if you feel you need another "trip."

Look into growing your own and microdosing too.

"How Dangerous?"


MM vs Depression