Venting Why is it so hard to die

[PatrickG]

I have tried partial so many times and cant get it right. I really thought i was gonna get it today I had been practising getting my sweet spots and was all ready. I drank a lot of alcohol to help with SI and put up my post but then when it came to the actually partial i didnt feel anything and had to stop. To top it all off my mates found the post i made so now i have to clean everything up and theres no way i could try again. I could always use full suspension but I only cant stand the pain. I just want something where i'll pass out and gravity will do the rest.
Is there any other ways apart from partial that are pretty easy and painless. Or do i just need to be patient?

 

[dandan]

N

 

[PatrickG]

N

I would use N but i simply cant afford it

 

[Raggas]

Train or high building will work, and get drunk/drugged up beforehand for courage.

 

[TheREALDisgustingMe]

I would assume based on myself that it's not only due to trying to overcome the survival instincts, but there's also the fear of failing the attempt and the huge consequences that come after. It's really difficult to try to determine when and where exactly is the right time to actually go and even attempt to do so, at least on my end. I can be at my most miserable states and still won't have the guts to go through with it. I can say and promise myself when I will finally off myself, but will still never go through it. These often leave me with huge regrets not just from cowardice, but also that whenever I actually feel like I'll finally do it soon, I just often waste time, lie down, and laze around most of my days since it's like "eh. none of this will matter since I'll definitely die soon" when I could have used that time I wasted for more meaningful things in my life, making me feel even more disgusted with myself. It's an agonizing cycle for me.

 

[headinghome]

I would use N but i simply cant afford it

how do I get N? I am in desperation...why can't we have humane ways???? how do I find out the process and not get scammed....is it a sure thing to buy N I am in US...west.....I would pay

 

[xiaomingdie]

Maybe you are a female?
I heard than females usually have more suicide attemps before they finally die

 

[Roberto]

I have tried partial so many times and cant get it right. I really thought i was gonna get it today I had been practising getting my sweet spots and was all ready. I drank a lot of alcohol to help with SI and put up my post but then when it came to the actually partial i didnt feel anything and had to stop. To top it all off my mates found the post i made so now i have to clean everything up and theres no way i could try again. I could always use full suspension but I only cant stand the pain. I just want something where i'll pass out and gravity will do the rest.
Is there any other ways apart from partial that are pretty easy and painless. Or do i just need to be patient?

What do you mean with you didn't feel nothing? Were you just waiting while hanged and didn't feel anything?
Another thing, that I don't know why people don't consider y taking a painkiller. I don't know if it helps. I hope someone can tell if taking painkillers, work for ctb this way.
I'm sorry for what happened to you.
A hug

 

[PatrickG]

What do you mean with you didn't feel nothing? Were you just waiting while hanged and didn't feel anything?
Another thing, that I don't know why people don't consider y taking a painkiller. I don't know if it helps. I hope someone can tell if taking painkillers, work for ctb this way.
I'm sorry for what happened to you.
A hug

I meant that with other attempts i have felt light headed or atleast some indictation that im doing it right but with this time i felt nothing. I'll try with painkillers thank you

 

[dandan]

I would assume based on myself that it's not only due to trying to overcome the survival instincts, but there's also the fear of failing the attempt and the huge consequences that come after. It's really difficult to try to determine when and where exactly is the right time to actually go and even attempt to do so, at least on my end. I can be at my most miserable states and still won't have the guts to go through with it. I can say and promise myself when I will finally off myself, but will still never go through it. These often leave me with huge regrets not just from cowardice, but also that whenever I actually feel like I'll finally do it soon, I just often waste time, lie down, and laze around most of my days since it's like "eh. none of this will matter since I'll definitely die soon" when I could have used that time I wasted for more meaningful things in my life, making me feel even more disgusted with myself. It's an agonizing cycle for me.

exactly ... this makes sense and its so true... EVEN more disgusted with myself for wasting more time and more things... im even giving my family some hope that I'll be alright, but im not!!

 

[headinghome]

I would use N but i simply cant afford it

how much does it cost?

 

[PatrickG]

Maybe you are a female?
I heard than females usually have more suicide attemps before they finally die

I am 100% a male. I have tried so many times today now my throat is in immense pain and even the slightest pressure is excruciating.

 

[dandan]

how much does it cost?

'A' sold it around 700usd for two bottles a few months ago... price must have risen since

how do I get N? I am in desperation...why can't we have humane ways???? how do I find out the process and not get scammed....is it a sure thing to buy N I am in US...west.....I would pay

i'm so sorry you feel this way....
is your pain emotional?

for some specific reason mate?
I dont mean to be awkward or disresepctful but curious, as I am so tired, and hopeless... and I do have N... damm it...

 

[headinghome]

'A' sold it around 700usd for two bottles a few months ago... price must have risen since

i'm so sorry you feel this way....
is your pain emotional?

for some specific reason mate?
I dont mean to be awkward or disresepctful but curious, as I am so tired, and hopeless... and I do have N... damm it...

Physical and therefore emotional....was healthy happy independent then broke ankle now bone loss and not able to do what I did before am devasted to point of wanting death....I certainly don't advocate suicide but in my case there is no way to get myself back...tried drugs but not enough, then stupid pointless hosp and useless shrink...just want out NOW!

 

[Hotsackage]

I have tried partial so many times and cant get it right. I really thought i was gonna get it today I had been practising getting my sweet spots and was all ready. I drank a lot of alcohol to help with SI and put up my post but then when it came to the actually partial i didnt feel anything and had to stop. To top it all off my mates found the post i made so now i have to clean everything up and theres no way i could try again. I could always use full suspension but I only cant stand the pain. I just want something where i'll pass out and gravity will do the rest.
Is there any other ways apart from partial that are pretty easy and painless. Or do i just need to be patient?

I'm exactly where you are. I cant get the sweet spot.

 

[JadedGray]

It's hard to die because it goes against our very nature and biology. We are programmed/conditioned to live and even when we consciously want to die our unconscious will fight to live. It's a fight against your self.

You might want to read this: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/the-night-night-method-mega-thread.6834/

I found when I tried partial, it only worked in the moment when I wasn't practicing or trying so much. I was instantly able to get the sweet spot and pass out, probably because I wasn't so stressed and focusing on finding the sweet spot. It only didn't work because I was found... though I wouldn't recommend this as it is too risky (as far as being found and ending up with brain damage).

 

[dandan]

I found when I tried partial......though I wouldn't recommend this as it is too risky (....

I would never try partial again.... I went out looking for N... glad I have a job and could pay for my N, but using it is very hard like you said... goes against my very nature...

Physical and therefore emotional....

damm... im physically okay... and still want out... I can imagine how you feel...
I hate I have this congnitive mental problem , very bad beliefs, plus I could've been a millionaire but I sold my ethereum because my mom didnt wanted to lend me $350usd...and I had to sell at that time... damm... that was my Ticket to a financially free life!! and I lost it!! me!

 

[PatrickG]

It's hard to die because it goes against our very nature and biology. We are programmed/conditioned to live and even when we consciously want to die our unconscious will fight to live. It's a fight against your self.

You might want to read this: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/the-night-night-method-mega-thread.6834/

I found when I tried partial, it only worked in the moment when I wasn't practicing or trying so much. I was instantly able to get the sweet spot and pass out, probably because I wasn't so stressed and focusing on finding the sweet spot. It only didn't work because I was found... though I wouldn't recommend this as it is too risky (as far as being found and ending up with brain damage).

I've been trying to combine the night night method and partial. I don't have a ratchet so i'm basically just trying to put Bean bags on carotid arteries and let gravity do the rest. But so far nothings worked. I will try again tomorrow.

 

[dandan]

. I will try again tomorrow.

cool cool, practicing makes perfect

I can not practice drinking N, thats the whole deal!! fucking scary!!

Attempted OD
Had a nearly fatal car accident
Attempted Nitrogen Exit Bag

But havent drink my N... theres no return!!

I wish I could fix things before I die,,,, but its so fucking difficult, so im living with regret and hate... sadly this is no way to live...
maybe I should accept reality... and try to do something... but what?

 

[Hotsackage]

cool cool, practicing makes perfect

I can not practice drinking N, thats the whole deal!! fucking scary!!

I've tried to ID
Attempted OD
Had a nearly fatal car accident
Attempted Nitrogen Exit Bag

But havent drink my N... theres no return!!

I wish I could fix things before I die,,,, but its so fucking difficult, so im living with regret and hate... sadly this is no way to live...
maybe I should accept reality... and try to do something... but what?

What's ID mean. And I wish u luck

 

[dandan]

What's ID mean. And I wish u luck

sorry my bad, just 3, was OD, repeated...

thanks... I wish I could just ACCEPT life , but I hate remembering the words of my father and mother and my brothers silence...
they didnt undestood I was incapable at the moment....
now I have to live a sub-life

If I could accept and try to make the most.... push hard...
I also need to make money... but how?
yes , I have a job, but I want more...

but the truth is I wish I could just enjoy life as it is... even with poverty, accepting it, and trying to grow...
but enjoying is hard because I cant concentrate at work..
damm... its a conundrum...

 

[ron_g]

@PatrickG Have you tried everything that has been repeatedly suggested so far? Don't tense the neck muscles. Pretighten the noose. The noose should be able to constrict easily. Have you tried different knot positions? Some have said you should throw your weight into the noose all at once. It goes without saying that, when you do this, you're injuring your neck.

 

[TAW122]

The body is really resilient when it comes to surviving, which includes the damned survival instinct. The body does anything to survive so if there is discomfort or pain, then it will seek all remedies to avoid that since it knows it will result in a lot of damage. It is difficult to fight or overcome survival instinct, but there are ways to overcome it enough just for the method to work or suppress it enough to follow through.

 

[dandan]

of course its hard, and the body and mind is resilient, even drinking N is quite hard...... drinking N, which supposed to be easy!

 

[PatrickG]

I've been trying again today for around 5 hours now and still nothing. I'm still combining the night night method and partial. The most ive felt is a tingling in the back of my head but that was after a long time. I havent manager to black out once. I have been tempted by full suspension but i don't want my last experience to be painful hence why i'm so frustrated that i jusst cant black out.

 

[headinghome]

I've been trying again today for around 5 hours now and still nothing. I'm still combining the night night method and partial. The most ive felt is a tingling in the back of my head but that was after a long time. I havent manager to black out once. I have been tempted by full suspension but i don't want my last experience to be painful hence why i'm so frustrated that i jusst cant black out.

why can't those of us who truly want to die be allowed to have access to drugs and therefore pass peacefully...
wish I had N I would go today
I am desperate I scream I scream
husband will put me away
I am suffering...I need a way out...
help me help me....desperate