Livingvsdying25

Livingvsdying25

Enlightened
Dec 8, 2019
1,188
Yeah kno I've really tried and still try to keep a balanced view of life and death..

I feel like this has dwindled. Like I actually don't kno if I think I can live/life I can live is possible...

Hope hurts. Even just entertaining the concept of actual helpful help for my fucking rotting self... hurts...

Been so long. So many things. So many realizations...

I just had a therapy ànd it was fine but. I don't even kno what I need and im tired of tryna find out...


Sometimes fèels better to be flat bc my alternative feels desperate and crying a lot. Rn.
 
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S

Symbiote

Global Mod
Oct 12, 2020
3,101
Hope that things will get better is painful because I think I'll fuck that up and make shit worse all over again. All that hope becomes a pipe dream because the people that expect you to get better feel sad and down because you let them down too, then they start distancing themselves from you because they don't want to drown in your negativity. Sucks bro.
 
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UseItOrLoseIt

UseItOrLoseIt

1O'8
Dec 4, 2020
2,217
Hope is that thing with feathers,
That sings the tune without the words,
And swallows your soul when you don't stuff its beak shut.
All that hope becomes a pipe dream because the people that expect you to get better feel sad and down because you let them down too, then they start distancing themselves from you because they don't want to drown in your negativity.
This is too relatable... It's happening to me right now, with my best friend and with everyone at work. I keep trying not to ruin everything, I really try to be a good friend and colleague, constantly leaving cues that I care, but I'm ruining it with just me being me. No matter how hard I try to be affable, my facade is constantly crumbling.
 
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W

WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,164
Yes, my friend, hope can really hurt.

Send you lots of hugs and good vibes!

Matt
 
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Beachedwhale

Mage
Mar 3, 2021
526
I completely relate. Hope is painful. Total hopelessness would make ctb easy..
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
37,036
I get what you mean. If I tried to have hope, life would just go against this and I'd end up worse than I was originally. I see my hopelessness as rational, as there is no hope for this existence, we are all just going to die anyway though. That is our only purpose and intention as humans.
 
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