Discussion Why do some men get approached by women and not others?

[thetwilightzone]

Is it looks? The reason I ask is because one of the friends I went drinking out with said that of all 3 of his girlfriends, they all asked him out. Never "put in effort" as he says.

Meanwhile, I've had a girl tell me I'm cute but apart from that...nothing.

 

[Jon]

One of life's mysteries. What I've observed is:

• Women don't like the over-keen man, which is probably what your friend meant by "never put in effort".
• Not all women are attracted to all men, but there are men who are attractive to all women.
• Women seem to 'sense' when a male is dating, and he somehow becomes more attractive.
• Men have unexplainable "off days", some days not a single woman on the street will give me the eye, while on others some do. This I find to be the greatest mystery, because to me I look the same on both days.

Search on Google for ways to improve your chances with women and I'm sure you'll get a lot of tips.

 

[tothemetalsickness]

Do not bother to understand women, we are one complicated race :P

 

[mattwitt]

Sometimes birds of a feather flock together.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Idk, but being ugly is one of the greatest frustrations of my life. Especially having grown up with a super attractive best friend and an older brother who looks like a model. Even back then it was enough to make me want to ctb, as time went on it only got worse.

The human condition is a fucking nightmare. How does this even work on a spiritual level? "Here you go Angst, be a guy, do your thing, and sow your seed"... "oh wait come back, first we'll have to make you look like a dog."

 

[Jon]

Idk, but being ugly is one of the greatest frustrations of my life. Especially having grown up with a super attractive best friend and an older brother who looks like a model. Even back then it was enough to make me want to ctb, as time went on it only got worse.

The human condition is a fucking nightmare. How does this even work on a spiritual level? "Here you go Angst, be a guy, do your thing, and sow your seed"... "oh wait come back, first we'll have to make you look like a dog."

Yes, it's a regrettable fact of life. But humans are not alone, take the Vogelkop bowerbird, not physically attractive so spends many years painstakingly building and decorating a bower, using many colourful objects taken from far afield and lining the bower with fungus. Then the female of the species will inspect each bower with acute attention to detail only to find that a neighbouring bower contains some silvery-blue metallic beetles not found in the other bowers and so she chooses him instead leaving the others with a lifetime's work snubbed and with little or no possibility of a second chance.

 

[lostinthedream]

Aye sage perspective Jon...

 

[satou]

I had a friend who would complain about not getting any female attention. He was always worried about being too ugly, but the reality is that he was just completely oblivious to women sending subtle (and not so subtle) signals his way. I would point this out to him and he would say: "oh but that girl is just someone I am friends with, she isn't interested in me".

I have no doubt that there are many plain girls frustrated with plain boys ignoring them, and not being confident enough to ask these boys out because of that.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I don't know how to feel about it, truth be told. I have had many relationships with women, but in every case I have had to do all the running. I suppose it would be nice just to receive some unsolicited validation once in a while, or heaven forbid, an openly interested person without feeling like I have to jump high and low to be noticed. It ultimately makes you feel like less of a person. And yes, I can intellectualize it and say I have enough other redeeming qualities to be desirable, which is true, but on some level it still feels like the ultimate insult as our outward appearance is something so fundamental.

 

[Schopenhauer]

Is it looks? The reason I ask is because one of the friends I went drinking out with said that of all 3 of his girlfriends, they all asked him out. Never "put in effort" as he says.

Meanwhile, I've had a girl tell me I'm cute but apart from that...nothing.

Good-looking guys get this all the time. One of my co-workers frequently gets women's numbers when he is out to lunch, they send it by the waiter (I've actually seen it happen twice). Some people are just lucky....