Which was the moment that you were closest to dying?

[Oblivion Lover]

I'm curious to see the answers of everyone. For me, the closest I ever got from dying was ironically when I was about to experience actual life. I've suffered from oxygen deprivation for a minute during the moment of birth, and I only survived because of a crazy but good intentioned nurse that took agressive measures to force me out of the birth canal. Unfortunately the damage was already done, as my brain was already damaged and I was left with mental disorders and a lower-than-average IQ which is one of my main reasons for wanting to ctb. So, what about you guys? What was the closest you've ever gotten from dying? Were you suicidal at that point?

 

[RM5998]

When I had my head in a noose last November. Didn't have the spine to go through.

 

[TAW122]

While I was never "literally" close to dying in the physical sense, I will say there were times where I was only one catalyst away from death, oftenly things outside of my control. In 2012, I told myself, if my encounter with Lindsey Stirling (before she got famous/started touring) had gone awry and didn't get what I wanted, then I'd die late 2012 or sometime 2013. Then in 2017, a similar thing happened, if my encounter with a pianist went poorly, I'd die in 2017 sometime. Finally, just this year, this past March 2019, I went on a solo trip to somewhere I never been before and I told myself, if I failed to achieve what I set out to achieve (purpose/goal redacted here for privacy reasons), then I'd CTB near end of May 2019.

Today, I am alive and in a slow, long term process of recovery along with coping with the travails of life, thanks to various events that otherwise would have meant that I died sooner yet turned out favorable for me. I have also decided not to gamble my fate ever so crazily as I did many years before.

 

[FionaWR]

I had pneumonia and stopped breathing for about a minute.

 

[Orin]

I have been suffering sleep-paralysis related suffocation for years now. At first i didn't understand why this happens because breathing is an autonomic function, thus must not be affected by the normal paralysis the body goes through during sleep. But i read an article stating:

"Because rapid and irregular breathing occurs in REM sleep, people who experience sleep paralysis may struggle to breathe properly, which can feel like suffocation."

It's always a horrendous experience as i struggle to regain mobility, but ironically, at the point that i think i'm gonna die, my mind is at peace and i say to myself "well, i tried my best."

 

[not_a_robot]

Many times, but none that are interesting to talk about.

 

[mathieu]

When I took 50 antidepressant tablets at 15 I had serotonin syndrome. Was delirious etc. The doctors told my parents I might not make it. Sadly, here I am. I had an earlier close call when I was 4 and a german shephard bit me on the head. Apparently I nearly died then, too, due to the bacteria from the dogs saliva getting in my system.

 

[SinisterKid]

The closest I ever got was when I died. Sadly, someone gave me CPR until medics arrived and I wake up a week later in ICU. The worst part of it all, I had to thank the person for giving me CPR and make it sound sincere. If it had been a man, I would have kicked ten bags of crap out of them

 

[deathenvoy]

I think currently I am closest to death as I have my N&meto in my drawer.

 

[Rose]

Had many near-accidents happen, none of which are particularly interesting. Most interesting was when I curiously pulled on a string coming down from the ceiling and a very heavy, sharp object attached to it fell very close to my head.

Been choked twice when I was very young, either of those could count. Probably the one where nobody else was around was most likely.

Went ~4 days into a 7 week plan to cause total organ shutdown in my body, it showed signs of working, but I didn't manage to go through with it. Wouldn't recommend it at all. Did manage to cause some lasting damage, though.

 

[Oblivion Lover]

I have been suffering sleep-paralysis related suffocation for years now. At first i didn't understand why this happens because breathing is an autonomic function, thus must not be affected by the normal paralysis the body goes through during sleep. But i read an article stating:

"Because rapid and irregular breathing occurs in REM sleep, people who experience sleep paralysis may struggle to breathe properly, which can feel like suffocation."

It's always a horrendous experience as i struggle to regain mobility, but ironically, at the point that i think i'm gonna die, my mind is at peace and i say to myself "well, i tried my best."

I have sleep paralysis very frequently too. It's a terrible experience, but I learned with time that the more panicked you become, the worse the feeling of suffocation becomes and the more time it takes to go away. When I'm aware that I'm not dreaming, I close my eyes and focus on my breathing until it stops.

 

[inconsequential]

While having brain surgery. I lost too much blood, it was the 90s, they didn't have a transfusion ready to fuckin' go, so my heart stopped for a few seconds.

 

[AhG]

One time when I was in high school, my mother kicked me outta the house and it was 30 below, I had no pants on, only shorts, short sleeve shirt and a shitty jacket. I ended up walking 2 miles in the cold to my grandmothers house, got there at sunrise. Was exhausted and passed out in her floor. Skip to like 2 days later, I was very sick and couldn't breathe properly, my airways were closing up. They rushed me to the furtherest hospital because our local one couldnt even help me. My mother was probably doing a 100mph to get me to the ambulance. Apparently I stopped breathing when we were half way there, and passed out/died? The EMT's said they had to bring me back. Although I don't really remember what it felt like dying tbh, all I rememeber is my chest hurting and people looking at me weirdly while they shove a oxygen mask over my face. Told me I was gone for a good 5 minutes and that they brought me back.

 

[Soul]

The closest I ever got was when I died. Sadly, someone gave me CPR until medics arrived and I wake up a week later in ICU. The worst part of it all, I had to thank the person for giving me CPR and make it sound sincere. If it had been a man, I would have kicked ten bags of crap out of them

What did you (nearly) die of, @SinisterKid? If it's okay to ask.

I got aspiration pneumonia (funny name!) and came to on a respirator like a week later. They had told my friend I was not a very sure bet. I didn't have an advance directive in writing then, but I do now, and I carry it with me.

 

[mamiko9399]

Hmm....Three times I would say tbh

1.When I was newborn and my lovely Mum "accidently" drowned me a bit durning a bath...

2. 3yrs ago when -whats is so ironic-I fall from 2 floor window to SAVE MY LIFE(we've got fire downstairs and on staircase...)-get completly smashed pelvis which how they described"No one belives its could be fixed in one whole piece",left hip-knee and "just"broken ankle...

3.Get full blown sepsis from pseudomonas which are bacteria resistant for almost all antibiotics,if attack and get into bloodstream-its so high % of mortality,even if catch early Literry get whole week fever like 40.5-41.7 the highest,next 4 weeks in hospital and shit.Im alive,even not have any single damage from it...

So or Im most unlucky and lucky person ever or its mean that I have to fucking hell suffering and steal oxygen from planet Seems like any devil dont want me in their Kingdom hahhaab

 

[been_there]

How would you ever really know? Until you decide yourself, when it becomes most moments.

 

[Paisley]

first time i was close to death was accidental. was suffocated by a quilt made for me by my grandmother while i slept as a child. had wrapped myself in it like it was a cocoon and then fell asleep that way. next thing i remember was being in the backseat of my dad's car with my head rested on my mom's lap, and she was crying. i pass out. next i'm in a hospital and i scream at the nurse for some reason i don't remember. i pass out again. awoke in my parent's bed.

 

[Asta]

Many years ago I was driving home alone from work, up and down the hills of a four-lane highway with a lot of curves, barreling along over 50 mph in the right-hand lane. Suddenly, a loud voice in my left ear said, "Move over!" Without thinking or even looking over my shoulder to see if another car was coming up on the left, I moved. As I rounded the next curve, there in the right lane was a stalled vehicle which would have been impossible to see before the bend in the road. If I had remained in that lane, I would have smashed into the back of the car and the people standing around it. (BTW, in those days we had no seat belts or air bags.) It all happened so fast that I didn't even have time to think until afterward; and though I experienced an incident like that twice, I still haven't been able to figure out what, if anything, I was saved for.

 

[been_there]

I would love to hear the stories of all those who died in similar situations.

 

[Sargasm]

I was an eighth of an inch away, so basically not even close. That was all that remained of the trigger pull. I wish I didn't have training with firearms, with my handgun in particular. That way I might accidentally pull the trigger too far and go through with it. I bought a 9mm for my concealed carry, and I trained with it many times for that purpose. But now it has a new purpose, and I feel like all of that is hindering me. I can grab that gun, press it to my head, and squeeze that trigger right down to the millimeter before it actually fires, all in under a half of a second. I know this because I have done it hundreds of times. I went with a 9mm because I bought it for self defense. I didn't intend for it to be a one-hit kill, especially through the skull. I know it's considered effective for CingTB, but it's the bare damn minimum, and there won't be a second chance.

On the flip side, I have really good trigger discipline and knowledge of firearms safety. I also know how to hold the weapon, and how to aim for the sweet spot.

I'm prepping for the Nite Nite method, but I do take some comfort in the knowledge that I have Plan B waiting for me. Right next to Plan C which was the noose from when I tried full suspension seven times and couldn't go through it.

Fuck me sideways....

 

[Ruffian]

I have been suffering sleep-paralysis related suffocation for years now. At first i didn't understand why this happens because breathing is an autonomic function, thus must not be affected by the normal paralysis the body goes through during sleep. But i read an article stating:

"Because rapid and irregular breathing occurs in REM sleep, people who experience sleep paralysis may struggle to breathe properly, which can feel like suffocation."

It's always a horrendous experience as i struggle to regain mobility, but ironically, at the point that i think i'm gonna die, my mind is at peace and i say to myself "well, i tried my best."

I have this experience at times too. Never knew of anyone else who did. It literally feels like someone is sitting on my chest.

I have this experience at times too. Never knew of anyone else who did. It literally feels like someone is sitting on my chest.

Yeah huge surprise here but my bf came home from work and I was foaming at mouth from an OD. Of course he called the ambulance and I was in ICU, then when I woke up angry and confused, the hospital psychiatrist came down and slapped me with a new diagnoses. Fun times.

 

[Conker]

A car crash that was a close call (seriously wear your seat belts if it weren't for that I may not even be here any longer), almost falling on the pavement in Mexico & probably some other instances that my me isn't recalling.

 

[alonely]

~instead of making a new thread, i found this one, and im curious about other/newer peoples answers~

i think the closest is probably a tie between two times. one was alcohol poisoning, where i woke up on the bathroom floor alone over 36 hours from the time i passed out. the other was nearly getting strangled to death by an abusive ex.

 

[aGoodDayToDie]

I was in a psych ward with god awful delusions. I tried to ctb by partial suspension. I'm pretty sure I lost consciousness a couple of times but the body's defence mechanisms kicked in and I reflexively got out of that position. It sucks. I wish it had worked. Life is hell

 

[synthcadia]

when i was 3/4 i almost got crushed by a cabinet. i moved out of the way but yeah.

 

[XdragonsoulX]

There's several for me, but the main ones that stick out the most was my OD when I was 17, and when I was a kid (12-13) my ex step mom was in her "I'm gonna kill you mood" and chased me around the house till I tripped and smashed my head on the floor leaving an imprint of my teeth, which she then took that opportunity to suffocate me with a pillow till I passed out woke up few minutes later to her grabbing a trash bag in a panic

 

[Csmith8827]

Multiple Meth OD's... horrible experiences...

 

[Professor K]

3 times when reaching my lowest weight (i had severe anorexia nervosa) the only reason i didn't succumb is that i was forced into hospitalization.

 

[day]

Failed a CTB on Xanax a few months back but don't know if I was ever close to dying to begin with, wasn't a pleasant time that's for sure.

Had a seizure when I was a 16 that was never explained so maybe that as well.

 

[𖣴 nadia 𖣴]

Walked directly in to traffic without looking or thinking when I was 9 because I become numb and dissociated after sexual abuse, but the van narrowly swerved. Aside from that, a couple of ctb attempts which don't count because I either had too much alcohol and not enough pills, or too much fear and not enough courage.