do u all have loved ones, family mainly but friends also. do they alter ur feelings of actually ctb, stay alive for them? or do u have no one and has this made the decision to ctb easier and cleaner? i have no one, couple of furry friends and a couple of friends that would no doubt get over my exit pretty quick, cant say anyone would give a rats ass when i ctb, no family, all abusive and are now dead
I have a family that now cares (when I am suicidal). These dumbasses should not have abused me over a decade and destroyed my life. I really try not to think about their emotions when I ctb they did not do the same when I was a little innocent child.
MY friends will be pretty upset. But they know it is a rational decision and just how much suicidal thoughts I've had the past 9 years. Damn this can't go on more decades...
MY friends will be pretty upset. But they know it is a rational decision and just how much suicidal thoughts I've had the past 9 years. Damn this can't go on more decades...
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 37,016
I have a few family members but no one else to think of really. They would be sad but they wouldn't hold me back honestly. I have no obligations to stay alive as I did not ask to in the first place. I wouldn't suffer for the sake of others. Suicide is a pain cycle, to end ours it passes it on to others. It is simply inevitable. Life is just painful in general.
do u think if there were more people who loved u that u would feel differently about ctb? i feel that nothing would change the way i feel
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 37,016
I don't think other people would change anything really for me.
demuic
Life was a mistake
- Sep 12, 2020
- 1,383
Yes I'm only alive right now for my mother. She would be devastated and there is no one else really there for her. The rest of my family don't care about me and my only friend will be fine. I have conflicted feelings and resentment because of this. If I had no one it would be easier.
i understand, i really believe some people are hard wired to feel the way we do
I only have my dad and dog. They're the only reason why I'm still here but I won't be able to keep on coping with life for many more years.
Sprite_Geist
NULL
- May 27, 2020
- 1,584
Sometimes I feel guilty for what I intent to do (hopefully) in the not-too-far future. After the guilt starts to manifest I remember that hardly anybody (if anyone at all) is really bothered about my own well-being, and then I do not feel bad anymore.
littleloup
しょうがない
- May 28, 2021
- 39
I have friends and family as loved ones. Only two people in my family are sort of aware of what is happening to me, that's I'm going to leave and the reason for it. I do feel guilt but that's nothing compared to the pain I've been suffering from and the thought that I'll always be in pain / suffering in agony for the rest of my life. So as much as I'd love to stay for them, I know that my time will come sooner than expected.
Superdeterminist
Enlightened
- Apr 5, 2020
- 1,877
In my normal relaxed state of mind, I definitely don't care about anyone else in terms of what they'll think if I ctb'ed. However, when I ordered SN I suddenly started panicking really badly about it out of nowhere. Whilst in the throes of panic I focussed on it and really made mental note of how unexpected it was and how it came upon me completely involuntarily. It really seemed like my SI was forcing me to worry about it in an attempt to keep me from ctbing.
I'm not staying alive for anyone, when I want to go I'll go. I didn't ask to be here in the first place and I won't prolong my suffering to make other people happy especially when they never gave a single fuck about my disability.
LastFlowers
the haru that can read
- Apr 27, 2019
- 2,170
Just as you said, nobody around me will give a "rat's ass", besides maybe my cats.
And even that much is wishful thinking.
And even that much is wishful thinking.
Bullit
Mage
- May 6, 2021
- 504
I have a brother who might have some concern, I don't know. I have steered clear of him for many years,and will continue to do so,because I don't want to draw him into my ctb,where it may affect him.
I'm all alone now,so no concerns about others.
I'm all alone now,so no concerns about others.
