charaunderground
* Let justice be done.
- Nov 29, 2024
- 72
First off, sorry if this post comes off weird. I typed the whole thing, left the tab, came back and it was Gone. So I have to retype the whole thing since I guess the draft didn't save either...
What's your guys' current / preferred method? My current plan is a mix of night-night and/or mass amounts of CO2 (I know CO2 is distressing, but high concentrations will make you pass out quickly and making it doesn't require anything "suspicious" or shady like SN or a gun). Gun is only a backup for a few reasons:
1) Might come off as super neurotic during a background check. Don't like talking to people and usually come off as overly polite / nervous in public, especially with strangers, especially during things like background checks. I was super anxious when I had a bg check for work, and it was the most surface level, low risk thing ever. Worried I'll somehow set off some sixth sense red flag detector for the employee and have issues.
2) My parents are surprisingly anti guns for people who live in a very red state. Not against other people having them, but they really don't want guns in/near the house, and I think if I bought a gun and they found it before it CTB'd it would cause Major issues (read: being kicked out immediately).
3) Unfortunately, I can't exactly test shooting myself to "make sure" it'll work. I can with either method I have. Yes, those can still have complications of course, but I prefer having something I can "try out" before doing it.
4) Citric acid, baking soda, ligatures, rope, etc are "normal" things to have and won't put me at odd with my parents or cause issue if they're found or intercepted in the mail.
Guns are still my first backup, along with SN as a runner up, but that's my ideal current plan for those reasons. I still think the gun would be more lethal for sure (and, because Red State, arguably more Dramatic and definitely more lethal) but can't easily hide/get/keep one for now without risk til' I move out.
Also — sorry if my frequent posting is some sort of SaSu social faux pas! I (obviously, I think) never get to talk about anything even remotely related to suicide IRL, so...
What's your guys' current / preferred method? My current plan is a mix of night-night and/or mass amounts of CO2 (I know CO2 is distressing, but high concentrations will make you pass out quickly and making it doesn't require anything "suspicious" or shady like SN or a gun). Gun is only a backup for a few reasons:
1) Might come off as super neurotic during a background check. Don't like talking to people and usually come off as overly polite / nervous in public, especially with strangers, especially during things like background checks. I was super anxious when I had a bg check for work, and it was the most surface level, low risk thing ever. Worried I'll somehow set off some sixth sense red flag detector for the employee and have issues.
2) My parents are surprisingly anti guns for people who live in a very red state. Not against other people having them, but they really don't want guns in/near the house, and I think if I bought a gun and they found it before it CTB'd it would cause Major issues (read: being kicked out immediately).
3) Unfortunately, I can't exactly test shooting myself to "make sure" it'll work. I can with either method I have. Yes, those can still have complications of course, but I prefer having something I can "try out" before doing it.
4) Citric acid, baking soda, ligatures, rope, etc are "normal" things to have and won't put me at odd with my parents or cause issue if they're found or intercepted in the mail.
Guns are still my first backup, along with SN as a runner up, but that's my ideal current plan for those reasons. I still think the gun would be more lethal for sure (and, because Red State, arguably more Dramatic and definitely more lethal) but can't easily hide/get/keep one for now without risk til' I move out.
Also — sorry if my frequent posting is some sort of SaSu social faux pas! I (obviously, I think) never get to talk about anything even remotely related to suicide IRL, so...
