Discussion What is the secret of happiness?

[ctoan]

and how to achieve it?

 

[lostinthedream]

The only glimpses of happiness that I have found are when I totally and completely and utterly surrender to what is, meaning seeing divinity in everything and everyone and relaxing into a sense of love and connection to all that is.. much much easier said than done however..

 

[Final Escape]

and how to achieve it?

Have you ever listened to Jordan B Peterson? He has these great lectures about this subject or at least helps with getting an understanding of how to go about it. He discusses things I wished had been talked about with me when I was younger. It's pretty hard to change now but that information could have saved me from the disaster I'm living now if I had access when young at least.

 

[okyeah]

Sex and love lol. Not that hard. We're mammals

 

[Justanotherconsumer]

It may be completely biological, sex seems to be the end all and be all. It's how we gauge the healthyness of a relationship.

 

[starcrossedfate]

I guess not being suicidal 24/7 for starters.

 

[ctoan]

Have you ever listened to Jordan B Peterson? He has these great lectures about this subject or at least helps with getting an understanding of how to go about it. He discusses things I wished had been talked about with me when I was younger. It's pretty hard to change now but that information could have saved me from the disaster I'm living now if I had access when young at least.

...

i only saw this clean your room if youre depressed video

 

[CRM]

A "healthy" brain (completely out of your control), sufficient coping mechanisms (only somewhat under your control, numbed by depression), and a steady source of dopamine (only somewhat under your control, numbed by depression). You need all three.

 

[ctoan]

A "healthy" brain (completely out of your control), sufficient coping mechanisms (only somewhat under your control, numbed by depression), and a steady source of dopamine (only somewhat under your control, numbed by depression). You need all three.

i need cocaine for sufficient dopamin supply

 

[thetwilightzone]

Would you say that drugs are better than sex? I'd have to say so.

 

[406blue]

Feeling that your life is synchronized with the rest of life. Reincarnation might be how to achieve it.

Conventional view seems to be this, however. There might be some truth in it for someone able to address the issues in question.

The experts' tips for happiness
• Relationships are important. Engage with people, and maintain those relationships.

• Get involved with your community. Having a sense of purpose is really important.

• Gratitude. Find something to be thankful for each day.

• Generosity. You really do get back what you put in.

• A tip for younger people: focus on your own strengths and personal qualities, rather than comparing yourself to others.

Personally, i'll be happy when i can pluck up the courage to ctb with a sense of peace about it.

 

[weedoge]

Feeling that your life is synchronized with the rest of life. Reincarnation might be how to achieve it.

Conventional view seems to be this, however. There might be some truth in it for someone able to address the issues in question.

The experts' tips for happiness
• Relationships are important. Engage with people, and maintain those relationships.

• Get involved with your community. Having a sense of purpose is really important.

• Gratitude. Find something to be thankful for each day.

• Generosity. You really do get back what you put in.

• A tip for younger people: focus on your own strengths and personal qualities, rather than comparing yourself to others.

Personally, i'll be happy when i can pluck up the courage to ctb with a sense of peace about it.

I feel like gratitude journal thing.. Forcing yourself to be grateful for something that you're genuinely not. Its a good way to learn to lie to yourself and be complacent with a crap life.

 

[+ + + +]

...

i only saw this clean your room if youre depressed video

hahaha, same

 

[406blue]

There was some irony involved, yes. The 'tips' came from a typical newspaper in the uk, the guardian. I quoted it because it's the usual shit that gets dispensed about this issue of how to be happy in the common press and among therapists. Anyone genuinely understanding the issue wouldn't be capable of getting to the office, nevermind writing such drivel.

 

[weedoge]

There was some irony involved, yes. The 'tips' came from a typical newspaper in the uk, the guardian. I quoted it because it's the usual shit that gets dispensed about this issue of how to be happy in the common press and among therapists. Anyone genuinely understanding the issue wouldn't be capable of getting to the office, nevermind writing such drivel.

I just think advice like this makes certain assumptions about the people receiving it. No generic list of advice is the key to happiness, at most its the key to complacency and avoiding questioning shit around you.

 

[406blue]

I just think advice like this makes certain assumptions about the people receiving it. No generic list of advice is the key to happiness, at most its the key to complacency and avoiding questioning shit around you.

Precisely. But i suppose they have to print something. On the other hand, maybe there's one person out there who read it and for some reason got their shit together, went to the gym next day and became an altogether different human being....

Avoiding the questions revolves around accepting commonplace ideas and not thinking too much. That's why people buy newspapers, in general, to provide them with ideas of how to conform. Having said that, i have met people who refuse to conform and live none the less amongst the herd. I honestly don't know how they do it. Some driving force or a perverse pleasure in doing the opposite.

As you say, happiness is such a personal thing and i can't really blame society or anyone or thing for the lack of it. It just seems like an existential issue that's critical to my sense of being. I wouldn't be any happier in a commune of hippies and poppies everywhere or in a smoke filled industrial city in isolation. The poppies might be nicer at first but it wouldn't last.

 

[Fallen_From_Grace]

I don't think we humans truly know happiness. When a person is happy, the brain remembers it and creates a threshold of how much happiness you feel to consider yourself happy. After a while, nothing truly does. Or if it does make you happy, it quickly fades away as your brain is used to feeling that happy. That's why we have these anti-depressants and mood stabilizers, they give a point of reference for what the brain may need to feel average and give people a boost.

I can think of a few achievements that I once was super proud of and happy about getting but now look at them like "wow, well, that sure was something... I guess" and feel nothing towards it.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I'm not sure true happiness is easy to pin down as it tends to be fleeting and sort of fluid/different for everyone. But I find that the most content people seem to be those who are continually busy. Either their schedule is full of social engagements, or they work non-stop, or they're obsessed with minutia that someone like me doesn't give a shit about but is like, the world to them. These people may struggle with things like complex, abstract or analytical thought, and may not have much in the way of self-awareness, but they're deeply engrossed in life and it's enough to keep them plodding on. They may also feel a sense of duty - to their families, employer, etc whereby giving up is not an option in their mind. I don't think they're immune to feeling bad or anything though, we all do from time to time.

 

[MEoDP]

Considering the kind of site we hang out in,I don't think we're qualified at all to answer this question.

 

[406blue]

I have met very few people i would describe as happy. A few in india in ashrams, but they all got there by convincing themselves through sheer necessity and willpower that they were after some kind of breakdown. I could see the cracks in it but i kind of admire them. They certainly had got the idea that material things are meaningless and struggled with their shit, but they had found meaning and something of the wheel of life. I have often thought that a total breakdown is the only way to move into a place where there is less fear of life and death and where we cease to constantly be opposed or attracted to things and just exist with freedom. The other happier people seem to exist in a very regulated environment, doing exactly the same thing day in and out for their entire lives, but my experience is that their lives become very small, and it makes them envious, paranoid and nasty happy people. Ha. Wait, i've reflected on that and it's just my mood. I know some very good and decent, kind people who understand their struggles and are so nevertheless, who have open hearts and the odd moment of weakness. People who have helped me unconditionally in the past. Whether they are happy... i would say they are more or less because they can accept and give affection/love with no hangups, and have very busy lives and lots of extended family. Forgive my misanthropy.

 

[ctoan]

I'm not sure true happiness is easy to pin down as it tends to be fleeting and sort of fluid/different for everyone. But I find that the most content people seem to be those who are continually busy. Either their schedule is full of social engagements, or they work non-stop, or they're obsessed with minutia that someone like me doesn't give a shit about but is like, the world to them. These people may struggle with things like complex, abstract or analytical thought, and may not have much in the way of self-awareness, but they're deeply engrossed in life and it's enough to keep them plodding on. They may also feel a sense of duty - to their families, employer, etc whereby giving up is not an option in their mind. I don't think they're immune to feeling bad or anything though, we all do from time to time.

its no secret and probably no coincidence unemployed people have a high risk of getting depressed

not only due to the social stigma but also bc if you have too much time on your hands you start to think...if youre brain isnt occupied with sth its bad...it isnt constructed for this...people in the stoneage were always busy

 

[Taylored]

I'd say ignoring reality. Is an easy way to stay happy.

 

[weedoge]

I'd say ignoring reality. Is an easy way to stay happy.

I choose to ignore reality by removing myself from it.

 

[Miss clefable]

I'd say ignoring reality. Is an easy way to stay happy.

I can't ignore reality

 

[Wantingpeace]

I guess not being suicidal 24/7 for starters.

Yes every second

 

[406blue]

its no secret and probably no coincidence unemployed people have a high risk of getting depressed

not only due to the social stigma but also bc if you have too much time on your hands you start to think...if youre brain isnt occupied with sth its bad...it isnt constructed for this...people in the stoneage were always busy

Just give me a big chunk of granite to hack down to a cylinder, i'm sure everything would be fine. But i get your point, it's not good to be idle.

 

[ctoan]

I can't ignore reality

thats why we invented drugs honey

 

[Wantingpeace]

Considering the kind of site we hang out in,I don't think we're qualified at all to answer this question.

:D yes I'm not sure lol

 

[Miss clefable]

thats why we invented drugs honey

Abused them a lot Dude

 

[ctoan]

I choose to ignore reality by removing myself from it.

noone knows more about depression than depressed people