Discussion what holds you back?

[pulltheline]

i just visited one of my grandparents, she's moving house and i've not spent time with her in so long. i forgot how much i loved being around her, she's one of my favourite people. it just hit me how much she'd be affected if i ctb.

so now i wanna find out from you guys, is there anything that makes you think harder or doubt things? no judgement, no pressure!!

 

[nolongerhuman]

A combination of intertia and spite.

My father also helps a lot. When he goes I expect they will have to throw a double funeral.

 

[Life_and_Death]

If we're going to talk about people, my brothers and my grandfather. They dont even know im suicidal. But everyone else does and they know my story so it'll hit differently with a better understanding so im not as concerned.

My girls (cats). Considering theyre 'just animals' (something i typically wouldnt say but in this case they would lack complete understanding, unless they found my body but i wouldnt allow that). I mean to a degree theyd know 'mommy' isnt here anymore, considering they give my husband a filthy look when he comes home without me and for me theyre like dogs and come running to the door lol.

And for me personally, theres a lot of things i like. I dont want to die. But i have too many problems.

I basically work on "getting better" but during the down moments i dont exactly fight them either. If i die i die if i dont i dont i guess

 

[Hotsackage]

No idea. But I guess my mom. Let's say if she weren't alive I wouldn't stop partial until I get it riggt

 

[TheYounger]

I really don't know what holds me back from ctb. I'm not really a self destructive person except for drinking alcohol. I drink a lot of alcohol. Probably been getting wasted every afternoon for the past 3-4 months. My life is just sad at this point. I go to work and stuff but it really doesn't seem like enough to make me happy again. So I just drown myself in alcohol.

 

[noname223]

Currently I have no psychosomatic pain. If it comes back in the severe form I am gone. I hope it so much I have the courage because the desperation is infinite. My parents/ psychiatrist might prevent my plan. But I have an idea to trick them in the future.

 

[FuneralCry]

I do have family members that would be sad, but that would never hold me back. I wouldn't suffer for the sake of other people. I think for me its the lack of a peaceful method/survival instinct/fear of it going wrong. It is hard to ctb really. Suicide is inevitable for me and someday I will reach the point of desperation to actually get there.

 

[ummwhaaat]

Primarily because I don't have SN, but also because of my family. I tried partial which was not too bad but I survived unfortunately, and if I am going to try again I do not want to fail.

 

[Scribble Fan]

I don't have the money for SN yet. Otherwise I'd be playing the harp.

 

[NothingElseMatters]

fear of what comes next

 

[Largeletters]

Fear of failing and potential disablement, my father, and the idea of love.

I do have family members that would be sad, but that would never hold me back. I wouldn't suffer for the sake of other people. I think for me its the lack of a peaceful method/survival instinct/fear of it going wrong. It is hard to ctb really. Suicide is inevitable for me and someday I will reach the point of desperation to actually get there.

Me too, FuneralCry... it's really hard, I'm sorry.

 

[0utsider]

Can't order SN at the moment without being questioned, and probably fear that I'll survive and become disabled for the rest of my life.

 

[WornOutLife]

My dad and dog, the best beings on this Earth I know.