Im trying to move on from my past but it keep haunting me. Calling me back and giving me high anxiety and guilt. I fear that one day my past life will catch up to me. I will not be ready when it does. I wish I never met them or interacted with them. I wish I never did that stupid thing. Make the suffering stop.
I'm so sorry Queen. I don't know the particulars of your situation, but I deeply relate. I have lingering shame and regret about so many situations. Sometimes the feelings come up in the present through various behaviors - self-talk, self-harm, etc. This is text book definition of trauma responses.
Trauma is so hard. It lingers in various ways. Parts of us respond in various ways. There's no right way to respond.
For me a big part of learning to manage this is acknowledging we're dealing with this in multiple ways internally. Be present with yourself and be compassionate with yourself. Whatever mistakes that happened in the past happened, but we're here now able to be more and learn.
I'm sorry if that's cheesy or off-base. As this was posted in recovery I wanted to share the ways I've tried to manage these feelings myself.
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