TODAY I'm going to use SN

[Freakazette]

What if I survive on my own? No one should appear in 12 hours. But what if I wake up a vegetable or dunno?

I can't believe this. I'm not afraid of any possible symptom, I'm afraid of surviving with even more damages than I already have.

I'm going to fast, at least 8 hours, just ibupofren ( ibalgin forte ) and a chewable antiacid ( dicarbocalm ) , however I don't mind any pain or speedy heart rate. I JUST WANT TO DIE.

Oh, and I will drink 25 g in 50 ml. I even wanted to take 35g just to be on the safe side ( however, I weight less than 60 kg ). I will have 2 glasses as back-up in case I vomit, even though I sense that I will not puke at all...

I'm just afraid of not dying, maybe it's too unbelievable or something like that? ( it has to be tomorrow, otherwise I will loose my opportunity to CTB with SN ).

If someone searches for me on Thursday, and I will be drinking SN tomorrow at around 19 PM tops, I have enough time, right? All that matters, though, is to die for certain... I don't want to be found after more than 12 h, still alive and with irreparable damages , still stuck here... and worse.

 

[WornOutLife]

I'm really gonna miss you, dear. You're just so...nice and lovely!

Whatever happens, I wish you lots of love and peace!!

Hugs,

Matt

 

[Bullit]

Do what brings you peace and an end to your sorrow.
Me? What piss me off is that ctb will end my sorrow, I hope!!!,but it will not bring me any happiness,any hope. Ill just be...nuttin!!
Good luck freakazette, God be with you and achieve success!!

 

[WFJ74]

Peace and love and a wonderful rest. I admire your courage and strength.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I wish you a peaceful journey whatever you choose

 

[In2TheVoid]

Wishing you a peaceful journey if you go through with it!

 

[Amumu]

Take care and do what you consider the best for you.
I wish I could join you today.

 

[oono]

Sorry to hear that you have arrived there, I respect your motivation and your courage and above all take your time before making this decision. If you are still there in the next few days it will be a pleasure to speak with you, peace and love

 

[listeningpost1379]

Afaik, SN doesn't cause damage if you survive. Remember, it's ok to back out. Love and peace...

 

[Freakazette]

Thank you a lot! I'm still afraid that I'm going to wake up, which I don't want to... - that's the whole point.

Can I drink a coffee? With sugar?

 

[aminend]

Safe travel. Have a peaceful journey

 

[Amumu]

Can I drink a coffee? With sugar?

No it isn't recommended I'm sorry.
I hope you're still with us.

 

[Freakazette]

No it isn't recommended I'm sorry.
I hope you're still with us.

Well, I drink it... And only water afterwards.

I'm not feeling well everyday, today also and I didn't even took SN. I was thinking around 18-19PM.

If I'm not doing this today, I will let you guys know. But there's no point in postoponing this more than Thursday ( tomorrow ). I wish I can do this today not tomorrow.

I'm going to sleep a lil' bit now.

 

[Werewolf.]

Well, I drink it... And only water afterwards.

I'm not feeling well everyday, today also and I didn't even took SN. I was thinking around 18-19PM.

If I'm not doing this today, I will let you guys know. But there's no point in postoponing this more than Thursday ( tomorrow ). I wish I can do this today not tomorrow.

I'm going to sleep a lil' bit now.

Sleep tight. Hope you have pleasant dreams.

 

[Freakazette]

Sleep tight. Hope you have pleasant dreams.

I'm afraid I'm not going to die, this is unbelievable .

Thank you!

 

[ClairyFairy]

If you're feeling like you shouldn't do it now don't do it. There'll always be other times xx

 

[Freakazette]

Now it's the time. Maybe should I take 35g?

I can't help it, I need a smoke. I didn't are anything, though.

 

[aminend]

Now it's the time. Maybe I should I take 35g?

I can't help it, I need a smoke.

25 g is enough for u. And a backup SN glass in case of vomiting soon

 

[Freakazette]

What if I don't die and wake up brain dramaged? I really need to die!

 

[Snow Queen]

Now it's the time. Maybe should I take 35g?

I can't help it, I need a smoke. I didn't are anything, though.

Ooh darling know that we're with you through this process, I wish you all the luck ^^

What if I don't die and wake up brain dramaged? I really need to die!

Please do what seems right to you, but from all the resources i read, SN is completely reversible and being brain damaged is not an option, i hope this helps ^^

 

[Freakazette]

I went to the store, I looked around, people all around, and I couldn't picture it: if someone else will take SN that that person can die.

 

[Freakazette]

So, I'm still afraid that I'm not going to die...

Anyway, I have an idea. If after I announce I took SN, after 1-2-3-4 days, or whatever, there's still any activity on my account but I'm not writing anything anymore, then definetly something happened ( I hope DEATH ).

Oh, and I'm going to delete what I just said, only you guys will know this.

Update: Now I'm thinking what if others have survived but couldn't write here anymore...

 

[S like suicide]

I am so sorry that life and suffering have led you to this choice.I truly wish that everything goes well, that it is pain free and that you can find the peace you deserve<3

 

[Amumu]

What if I don't die and wake up brain dramaged? I really need to die!

If you've tested your SN and it's definitely SN, then it has never been reported SN could cause brain damage.

 

[Freakazette]

If you've tested your SN and it's definitely SN, then it has never been reported SN could cause brain damage.

I'm going to test with blood just before drinking it... That's all that I'm going to do. It should be legit, though.

Anyway, still afraid of waking up... It's raining, at least!

 

[LifeQuitter2018]

Do you live alone ? In case you wake up next or other day, just prepare food and water plus some detox drinking in the fridge.

 

[Freakazette]

Do you live alone ? In case you wake up next or other day, just prepare food and water plus some detox drinking in the fridge.

Yes. Do you think I'm going to wake up? Survive on my own?

 

[WFJ74]

Yes. Do you think I'm going to wake up? Survive on my own?

If you follow the regime it shouldn't happen.

 

[S like suicide]

Yes. Do you think I'm going to wake up? Survive on my own?

I know that it is really difficult to face all this calmly and without anxieties and worries. But I think it is very important how you approach your moment of ctb. The more you are anxious and the more consequently things may not go as hoped .Take your time. You don't have to do it if you don't feel ready. Forgive me if I tell you this, I know it's very difficult. Dying is so fucking hard damn.

 

[Freakazette]

What happens if you don't vomit but still drink the second glass? I just want to make sure.

If you follow the regime it shouldn't happen.

I just didn't ate, I will not take other meds other than SN.

I know that it is really difficult to face all this calmly and without anxieties and worries. But I think it is very important how you approach your moment of ctb. The more you are anxious and the more consequently things may not go as hoped .Take your time. You don't have to do it if you don't feel ready. Forgive me if I tell you this, I know it's very difficult. Dying is so fucking hard damn.

Indeed it is. I have to do it today. Plus, it's a must.

Couldn't take more blood from myself, I'm still bleeding. It turned brown.