ScaredCutter
₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊ Finding a Reason ₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊
- Oct 16, 2025
- 73
i wish i could move out already and live with my boyfriend but, no job, no money, no license, still need support and therapy sigh.
i just cant handle living with my family, i hatw my dad and my brothers. i hate being told im loved, respected and support, its all lies to me. whats love and support if ur dad jist pushes u furthur into saying something when u cant because of not just selective mutism, but this stupid anxiety i have. im alwaya being pushed and pestered about myself, whats wrong and when i say "i just cant say it" im looked at like im a liar. then, when i get pushed and pestered enough, i lash out and yell, i yell and yell until i cry because nobody is litening nor understanding my reasons. telling me "but if u dont do this we wont know whats wrong" well, u just have to accept it.
im literally AFRAID of asking to see a psychologist/psycharatrist because i dont want to be pestered about why, i dont want to be asked shit i dont wanna hear. i can only tell my teacher and boyfriend because they wont pester me or tell somebody (my mum tells my dad...). im so tired of being asked, yelled st and made fun of, they dont even see what they r doing wrong. i want to ask my mum about NDIS funding coverage but, ill be pestered about my reason, yes i can lie but that only goes so far for me.
i hate my brothers a lot, always get on each nerve i have. thwy are loud, annoying, noisy and such pointless humans ive seen. i remember my dad and older brother talking ab ME HAVING KIDS???? like, u have the genatalia to produce kids, why fucking talk to me about my choices???? they dont even realise if i have kids, itd be hell for thwm because my wmotions arent always under control and im reactive, why would i have kids if my emotions arent fully stable???? these people are so inconsiderate.
i swear this family cares about themslves to such a degree that i cant even imagine.
i just cant handle living with my family, i hatw my dad and my brothers. i hate being told im loved, respected and support, its all lies to me. whats love and support if ur dad jist pushes u furthur into saying something when u cant because of not just selective mutism, but this stupid anxiety i have. im alwaya being pushed and pestered about myself, whats wrong and when i say "i just cant say it" im looked at like im a liar. then, when i get pushed and pestered enough, i lash out and yell, i yell and yell until i cry because nobody is litening nor understanding my reasons. telling me "but if u dont do this we wont know whats wrong" well, u just have to accept it.
im literally AFRAID of asking to see a psychologist/psycharatrist because i dont want to be pestered about why, i dont want to be asked shit i dont wanna hear. i can only tell my teacher and boyfriend because they wont pester me or tell somebody (my mum tells my dad...). im so tired of being asked, yelled st and made fun of, they dont even see what they r doing wrong. i want to ask my mum about NDIS funding coverage but, ill be pestered about my reason, yes i can lie but that only goes so far for me.
i hate my brothers a lot, always get on each nerve i have. thwy are loud, annoying, noisy and such pointless humans ive seen. i remember my dad and older brother talking ab ME HAVING KIDS???? like, u have the genatalia to produce kids, why fucking talk to me about my choices???? they dont even realise if i have kids, itd be hell for thwm because my wmotions arent always under control and im reactive, why would i have kids if my emotions arent fully stable???? these people are so inconsiderate.
i swear this family cares about themslves to such a degree that i cant even imagine.
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