Venting Think i just shot myself in the foot.

[AnnihilatedAnna]

Okay so where do i start? I just told my school counselor that i think i want to quit therapy and or die. Or both. My whole situation is a fucking disaster but i dont want to lie to him. I think i just hung myself (metaphorically). I think i need to start doing this on my own again. Just cope and process this on my own. Maybe i will die maybe i wont, i dont know. I dont wanna live like this anymore which in my oppinion is kinda valid. What do i do now?

 

[Redt2go]

Okay so where do i start? I just told my school counselor that i think i want to quit therapy and or die. Or both. My whole situation is a fucking disaster but i dont to lie to him. I think i just hung myself (metaphorically). I think i need to start doing this on my own again. Just cope and process this on my own. Maybe i will die maybe i wont, i dont know. I dont wanna live like this anymore which in my oppinion is kinda valid. What do i do now?

oh boy :/

 

[AnnihilatedAnna]

He let me go home upon promising i wasnt gonna do anything stupid. He said he'll call or text me later with his plan of action or something :/

Really hate myself atm

 

[JustAboutDone]

Can I ask why you quit the therapy? Was it not helping?

 

[AnnihilatedAnna]

Can I ask why you quit the therapy? Was it not helping?

Havent quit, am still think about it. I cant do it anymore, the going to school, go to therapy, going home. Its too much. Its like everbody drops weights on my shoulder but keep expecting me to walk up right. A couple of years back when i was feeling like crap but still able to hold It together i felt way better then i do now. Everybody keep saying "it always gets worse before it gets better" is nonsense. Ive been doing this for over a year now and it isnt working.

 

[JustAboutDone]

It sounds like you feel totally overwhelmed with everything right now?
People always say things get worse before they get better - I don't know why they say that! Sometimes things get a whole lot better then you get a crash - so it's all nonsense!

It might be you are doing too much for you to handle - school, therapy, normal life etc and you need to just pick one thing eg therapy or part time school to do, what do you think you might be able to manage?

 

[AnnihilatedAnna]

It sounds like you feel totally overwhelmed with everything right now?
People always say things get worse before they get better - I don't know why they say that! Sometimes things get a whole lot better then you get a crash - so it's all nonsense!

It might be you are doing too much for you to handle - school, therapy, normal life etc and you need to just pick one thing eg therapy or part time school to do, what do you think you might be able to manage?

At this point i have absolutely no clue, i dont know what i can handle, i just cant handle this anymore. I need to think about what i want in peace for a while. Without anyone in my family telling me what to do, or the school counselor or my therapists.

 

[Welcumtotherealworld]

Havent quit, am still think about it. I cant do it anymore, the going to school, go to therapy, going home. Its too much. Its like everbody drops weights on my shoulder but keep expecting me to walk up right. A couple of years back when i was feeling like crap but still able to hold It together i felt way better then i do now. Everybody keep saying "it always gets worse before it gets better" is nonsense. Ive been doing this for over a year now and it isnt working.

"It gets better" is a lie

"It can always get worse" on the other hand is completely true.

 

[AnnihilatedAnna]

"It gets better" is a lie

"It can always get worse" on the other hand is completely true.

Agreed

 

[Thisisme373]

Do you find therapy helps at all?

 

[Cookiedough8956]

You know to be honest i made the mistake of letting the problems go in h s and refused to continue seeing a therapist. If i had continued searching i dont think id be in such a bad place rn.
Continue seeing him, or evrn change to a new one. But dont stop getting help and dont take this on by urself its not gonna work.

And it's good to be honest even if it gets you in "trouble" thats how they can truly help you. Take it one step at a time.

 

[About_to_Go]

"It gets better" is a lie

"It can always get worse" on the other hand is completely true.

Let's not get too negative, it *can* get better, but it's not gaurenteed as some people like to make it seem. Unfortunately, it can always get worse as well.

You know to be honest i made the mistake of letting the problems go in h s and refused to continue seeing a therapist. If i had continued searching i dont think id be in such a bad place rn.
Continue seeing him, or evrn change to a new one. But dont stop getting help and dont take this on by urself its not gonna work.

And it's good to be honest even if it gets you in "trouble" thats how they can truly help you. Take it one step at a time.

I agree with Cookiedough. If after a few sessions you find your therapist doesn't help you, try another one!

 

[AnnihilatedAnna]

Do you find therapy helps at all?

At the moment i dont know, not yet.

You know to be honest i made the mistake of letting the problems go in h s and refused to continue seeing a therapist. If i had continued searching i dont think id be in such a bad place rn.
Continue seeing him, or evrn change to a new one. But dont stop getting help and dont take this on by urself its not gonna work.

And it's good to be honest even if it gets you in "trouble" thats how they can truly help you. Take it one step at a time.

Thank you for that! That was actually what i needed to hear i think. I will see what im gonna do and what my options are. :)

 

[odette]

So school, therapy and your home life is draining your energy? Is there anything that refreshes your energy?

 

[AnnihilatedAnna]

So school, therapy and your home life is draining your energy? Is there anything that refreshes your energy?

At the moment not really, maybe rest would do the trick? I dont know because i cant get many of that.

 

[odette]

At the moment not really, maybe rest would do the trick? I dont know because i cant get many of that.

What about hobbies, hanging out with friends? Any of that refresh your energy?

 

[AnnihilatedAnna]

What about hobbies, hanging out with friends? Any of that refresh your energy?

Do you mean like hobbies outside of my house? If thats what you mean i dont really have those. Hanging out friends often just drains it. Im not that social. I might hangout with my best friend this weekend though

 

[odette]

Do you mean like hobbies outside of my house? If thats what you mean i dont really have those. Hanging out friends often just drains it. Im not that social. I might hangout with my best friend this weekend though

Okay, then I guess it's a matter of focusing on cutting back on the things that drain you? You said your home life is draining you, right? Do you live with family that are draining to you?

 

[AnnihilatedAnna]

Okay, then I guess it's a matter of focusing on cutting back on the things that drain you? You said your home life is draining you, right? Do you live with family that are draining to you?

Yeah, right now my living situation is pretty toxic. I have to decide wether or not i want to move out.

Cutting back in things that drain me is what im planning on doing. With school were gonnan cut my hours. I might want to keep living at home. Ill have to wait until next week them ill here what my options are

 

[odette]

Yeah, right now my living situation is pretty toxic. I have to decide wether or not i want to move out.

Cutting back in things that drain me is what im planning on doing. With school were gonnan cut my hours. I might want to keep living at home. Ill have to wait until next week them ill here what my options are

From the sounds of it, maybe moving out, at least temporarily, would be the best for your peace of mind right now? Is there anyone you can stay with for a little while to recharge your batteries?

 

[AnnihilatedAnna]

From the sounds of it, maybe moving out, at least temporarily, would be the best for your peace of mind right now? Is there anyone you can stay with for a little while to recharge your batteries?

Not for at leats a couple of months. Im not in contact with my mother, further i dont habe family im in contact with. I might be going to a youth living thing probably in a while.

 

[odette]

Not for at leats a couple of months. Im not in contact with my mother, further i dont habe family im in contact with. I might be going to a youth living thing probably in a while.

It sounds like you've got some good ideas on how to handle your situation. Good luck to you!

 

[AnnihilatedAnna]

It sounds like you've got some good ideas on how to handle your situation. Good luck to you!

Thank you :D

 

[Edrudd]

Stop saying this crap to him. He's gonna hospitalize you and put you on meds and end your life

 

[AnnihilatedAnna]

Pretty sure he cant do that. He has to call my therapist first. They can but probably wont. Unless they petition a judge. Thats sorta how it works here.