Venting There was no point in me being born

[failureofahuman]

I was never going to be loved by a man no matter what I did. Born failure, live failure, die failure. I was put into the earth unlovable: average/below average-looking, socially retarded, stupid, unfit for forming connections of any kind, just a burden to my family and society. I've been thinking about converting to Christianity and my conclusion is that I am never going to be loved by a true Christian man and I would most certainly go to hell and in life be shamed by the actually pious (I had premarital sex). Maybe I like the concept of being loved by God/Jesus but I don't think they really love me and no man would ever love me either. There's no place for me anywhere. I hope there is nothing after I die so I don't have to exist as myself forever. I'm excited for the day I can hang myself from a tree and be done with this awful world. I'm sorry to everyone for existing. I will kill myself as soon as I can and make the world a better place.

 

[Death is my goal]

if you're young then you definitely can find a man, most women are desirable

 

[physai]

First, I'm very sorry you're feeling like this. It awful to feel like you're a burden and undeserving of love. I'm a christian for 5 years now. I have sinned before and I still do. If you're really wishing to convert I won't say do it or not, I'll just say what christianity actually preaches. Jesus/God loves sinners, He died for the sinners, not for the good and "perfect" ones. He came to rescue those in pain, suffering, those that are hopeless, that are sick. This is what christianity is about. Is believing you're worth of love, empathy and respect no matter who you are or what you're going through. I know it's not how it's always portrayed out there, there are hateful people everywhere that might judge you, but their actions are their own wrongdoing. You can definitely find someone that will love you because you are deserving of love and no one can tell otherwise. Please be safe, I'm wishing you the best.

 

[WeDontKnowTheFuture]

I do not know how you got such a low self esteem but i'm sure that you have capacity as everyone as, each person can be bad at one thing and good at another and i cannot imagine that a total failure could exist. Maybe your past experience brought to this sad opinion about yourself. I wish you to find some love with yourself.