clocktower
anxious
- Jun 25, 2020
- 64
this might sound stupid but just existing is so difficult. my autism makes everything unbearable. i can't stand numerous noises, textures, tastes and smells. but it isn't just a dislike - it's genuinely extremely distressing. i find myself struggling just to be awake and aware of what's going on around me because everything seems to trigger distress and/or irritation. sensory overload is hell. i can't even handle something as simple as two people talking at once while the tv is on. i just want to feel the absolute peace of ctb that i can never feel in the waking world. i may be "high functioning" but it doesn't feel like it. all this is without even mentioning the social side of things! i wish i'd never been born.