Teenage kids?

[nopointinlife]

I have a 14 year old. I miss her toddler version….so cute and lovable. Not so much as a teen. Good time for me to ctb

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I guess I don't follow, but you want to off yourself because your kid's a brat and you can't stand them? I've come across quite a few reasons that people ctb during my time here on SaSu, but, I must say, this is a new one.

 

[nopointinlife]

It's not just that, but only one of the many reasons…. I miss when my kids used to make me happy

 

[Install-Gentoo]

She will likely come to love you again. Though I realize it must be a rough few years.
Surely that's not the only reason you feel like this though. Before you ctb please talk to your kid some. I doubt they will be able to do anything all that much in the way of blocking you, but maybe you could at least get them to understand so it doesn't come as a surprise.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

It's not just that, but only one of the many reasons…. I miss when my kids used to make me happy

That's a tough one. They say, whoever they are, that in order to be truly happy, one shouldn't rely on others for fulfillment. The best, and most solid, and lasting happiness needs to come from within one's own self. Perhaps instead of keeping all of your eggs in the one basket of needing your children for your own happiness, you could try and break out of that scenario and venture out and find what else can bring you some enjoyment in life. I know, easier said than done. Sounds a little like early-onset, empty-nest syndrome. Just a layman observation. I'm not a professional.

 

[Worndown]

A child that age is in the process of finding out who they are and where they fit in. They might need you mire now then when they were cute and lovable. You are their rock even though they may not realize it.

 

[makethepainstop]

I have a 14 year old. I miss her toddler version….so cute and lovable. Not soentt much as a teen. Good time for me to ctb

I hate you break it to you but teenagers are teenagers. When I was young, calling me a juvenile delinquent wouldn't have been totally wrong. I am now somewhat successful, so you see kids change over time.

 

[Hollowillow]

I have a 14 year old. I miss her toddler version….so cute and lovable. Not so much as a teen. Good time for me to ctb

My mother was abusive... She kept saying that I'm not cute and not lovable too. I tried to kill myself... I wish she had tried to get to know me & love me as a person, instead of seeing me like a broken doll.

 

[Jimblue]

My mother was abusive... She kept saying that I'm not cute and not lovable too. I tried to kill myself... I wish she had tried to get to know me & love me as a person, instead of seeing me like a broken doll.

My mother is same, she wish I never exist from first point.

But I gives up her when I was a small child. I used to think my father was the okay one. However few years ago, I just realized he is as shit as my mother, just different way. And he is so creep too.

I have cut the contact of them completely now.

 

[BGooG]

I have an 18 yr old daughter. She's the only reason I DON'T kill myself. And yet? She clearly wants as little as possible to do with me and my wife. Now, she hates me because I didn't leave my wife and take her with me (I probably should have, but why I didn't is another long story). Anyways, I'm still waiting and hoping she starts to care about me/us again. But it's been difficult since she was 13. Teenage children are tough.

 

[nopointinlife]

My mother was abusive... She kept saying that I'm not cute and not lovable too. I tried to kill myself... I wish she had tried to get to know me & love me as a person, instead of seeing me like a broken doll.

I'm sorry your mother put you through that. I too was abused by my parents, and I make every attempt to not expose my kids to the same. Raising kids is tough.

 

[DeadButDreaming]

I have a 14 year old. I miss her toddler version….so cute and lovable. Not so much as a teen. Good time for me to ctb

She doesn't need the cuteness now that she can walk and wipe her own ass.

Family can be tough to bear, but they're more likely to stick around than friends and romantic partners. The latter will abandon you when better times are to be had elsewhere.

 

[Pluto]

According to Erik Erikson's theory of psychosocial development, the teenage era is dominated by questions of identity. In this age group, it is desirable to be a unique individual and yet simultaneously to fit into a social group. There are various additional problems caused by schools (teaching children to compete with one another for 'success'), corporations like Facebook who choose profits over human wellbeing and our messy, conflicted society in general.

Another challenge is that the adult world is a somewhat cruel 'survival of the fittest' kind of place, which teenagers will emulate immaturely, without the cloak of subtlety and sophistication of adults who are experienced at feigning civility. The result is a rather cold-hearted culture which devolves further as aggression is normalised in everyday social situations between teenagers. Then there's the hormones. Ah, the hormones.

The point is that it is best to strive to genuinely understand what is happening and engage accordingly rather than assuming that the teenager is a 'bad person'. I suspect there is a lot of information on the topic online, though this is at least an amateurish primer.

 

[nopride86]

While I sympathize with your feelings of emptiness, trauma, and desire to feel close to your loved one, I also know that my #1 reason to CTB is due to my mom using me to satisfy her unmet emotional needs.

There's a good chance your teen is being distant because they're aware, even subconsciously, that you're devaluing them now that your relationship isn't codependent.

Your other reasons for wanting to CTB will always be there, but maybe try connecting to your teen in a non-infantilizing way. And when they make mistakes, give them grace and growth instead of just thinking "see this is why you were better when you were a baby".

I don't know your dynamic, truly I could be way off the mark, but that was my experience on the receiving end as an adolescent.

 

[theboy]

I'm not a parent, but it must be hard to watch your children grow up.
I hope you share beautiful moments with your children.

 

[Worndown]

Like everything, it is just a slow transition. Hopefully enjoyable.