Suicide at 30 is the only option i have to avoid having a lonely life forever

[FireFox]

I am 27 everyday I feel like I am running out of time to meet to man and get into a serious relationship and it gets harder to meet a man in your 30s. I read regularly the reddit sub called dating over thrity, the dating subs and it's full of stories of women struggling to finding love in their 30s, I have seen YouTube videos of women sharing how hard it is to meet a men in your 30s. I do not want that life for me.

This is my worst nightmare to go another decade being the rejected and the unlucky in love woman. I see everyone I grew up with getting married and here is me who never gets picked. It hurts so much that I have never been a boys crush in secondary school, a man's girlfriend or a someone a man really wanted so badly while everyone else is getting loved, chosen, sought after, noticed and so much more. All I have ever known is male rejection and being humiliated by men.

I am absolutely terrified this is going to be my future watching all these videos of women struggling to find a man at 30. This week at university when I was waiting to go to a class it finally sank in there is nobody for me this world. It finally sank in I will never be picked no matter how hard I try. I talk to guys at university nobody ever clicks with me and they don't click with me either. It's always another woman that catches their interest but nobody ever sees me or wants to really know me.

No matter how hard I put myself out there, show the men I love or really like how much I care about them I am never ever enough. The guy I already knew this year and began to hang out more with over the summer complained about women not being interested in him and when I show my interest he rejects me because I go to church. He is one of those militant atheist types. I told him I accept him for who he is and I will never force my beliefs on him but nope he says he can't date a woman who follows a religion.His rejection of me is number 1 reason I am depressed. I really thought this time it was going to work out this time. We were getting on so well we knew other beforehand and he's been single for over 5 years and really wants a relationship. I really wanted him and liked him the way he is but he couldn't even accept me for me.

This is the worst reason a man has ever given me to reject me. If he didn't find me attractive or wanted another woman i would have coped better. No matter what i do I am never enough for anyone. There is always something wrong with me.

My weekend are lonely, I am always going to places by myself and I just see happy couples everywhere having fun. All I ever wanted was to be loved by a man like other women around me have. The realisation it's never going to happen is the one of the reasons why I want to kill myself when I turn 30. I don't want to be alone anymore.

Being single and never chosen is so painful because I feel like I have failed as a woman because something so naturally other women can do i have failed. It upsets me everyday. The pain is intolerable everyday. Never having a boyfriend and always being constantly rejected by men feels like a lifetime.

I don't want to be the rejected woman anymore.

 

[ghost-shock]

Im in my 20s and its already hard to meet a guy. Being 30 looks like hell when your alone even if you had a partner he could leave so that fear of ending up alone again us still there

 

[cashmeout77]

I am 27 everyday I feel like I am running out of time to meet to man and get into a serious relationship and it gets harder to meet a man in your 30s. I read regularly the reddit sub called dating over thrity, the dating subs and it's full of stories of women struggling to finding love in their 30s, I have seen YouTube videos of women sharing how hard it is to meet a men in your 30s. I do not want that life for me.

This is my worst nightmare to go another decade being the rejected and the unlucky in love woman. I see everyone I grew up with getting married and here is me who never gets picked. It hurts so much that I have never been a boys crush in secondary school, a man's girlfriend or a someone a man really wanted so badly while everyone else is getting loved, chosen, sought after, noticed and so much more. All I have ever known is male rejection and being humiliated by men.

I am absolutely terrified this is going to be my future watching all these videos of women struggling to find a man at 30. This week at university when I was waiting to go to a class it finally sank in there is nobody for me this world. It finally sank in I will never be picked no matter how hard I try. I talk to guys at university nobody ever clicks with me and they don't click with me either. It's always another woman that catches their interest but nobody ever sees me or wants to really know me.

No matter how hard I put myself out there, show the men I love or really like how much I care about them I am never ever enough. The guy I already knew this year and began to hang out more with over the summer complained about women not being interested in him and when I show my interest he rejects me because I go to church. He is one of those militant atheist types. I told him I accept him for who he is and I will never force my beliefs on him but nope he says he can't date a woman who follows a religion.His rejection of me is number 1 reason I am depressed. I really thought this time it was going to work out this time. We were getting on so well we knew other beforehand and he's been single for over 5 years and really wants a relationship. I really wanted him and liked him the way he is but he couldn't even accept me for me.

This is the worst reason a man has ever given me to reject me. If he didn't find me attractive or wanted another woman i would have coped better. No matter what i do I am never enough for anyone. There is always something wrong with me.

My weekend are lonely, I am always going to places by myself and I just see happy couples everywhere having fun. All I ever wanted was to be loved by a man like other women around me have. The realisation it's never going to happen is the one of the reasons why I want to kill myself when I turn 30. I don't want to be alone anymore.

Being single and never chosen is so painful because I feel like I have failed as a woman because something so naturally other women can do i have failed. It upsets me everyday. The pain is intolerable everyday. Never having a boyfriend and always being constantly rejected by men feels like a lifetime.

I don't want to be the rejected woman anymore.

I can understand your feelings. Rejection is so hard. But i want to tell you this... Every relationship I had before age 28 was TERRIBLE! I'm now 47 and have been with the same guy since 28. While this relationship is very flawed, it has been a very open, honest, loving, and dedicated one. I'm happy I met him when I was almost 30, because 20 or 25 year old me was not the best version of me.

 

[PlannedforPeru]

Same, although you're way stronger than I for holding out till 30, I can't. Even though both of us don't technically qualify, r/FA30Plus maybe a good resource for feeling a little less alone in your struggle.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

The internet is not in itself a representation of real life. There are cases of women who end up having more luck in their 30s and onwards vs their 20s and late teens. Along with that, certain factors are important to note here, such as the fact that women in their 30s are probably less likely to put up with men who'd make bad partners (which is why there is a pattern of abusive men shaming older women and only going after early 20-somethings), which may factor into their issues with finding a good partner. My mom was still getting hit on in her 30s and was also getting hit on by some men while out of the country despite now being in her early 40s. Your 30s is still pretty young and it isn't the end of the world.

 

[DeadEndRoad]

My experience with loneliness is similar to yours. Although I'm not a woman. Everyone around me can find love but I've never been able to. It's emasculating to not have this fundamental human experience at least once. You actually try which is admirable. I don't. I don't even talk about it outside of here. I can't tell anyone how lonely I am.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

35yo manchild here, can't support myself, no sex since late 20s

 

[greebo6]

Always knew I'd have a lonely life . Always been too ugly for love. Always will be .
I wish I had had the courage to ctb back when I was 30 for just that reason. Would have saved a lot of hurt and wasted time...

 

[FireFox]

The internet is not in itself a representation of real life. There are cases of women who end up having more luck in their 30s and onwards vs their 20s and late teens. Along with that, certain factors are important to note here, such as the fact that women in their 30s are probably less likely to put up with men who'd make bad partners (which is why there is a pattern of abusive men shaming older women and only going after early 20-somethings), which may factor into their issues with finding a good partner. My mom was still getting hit on in her 30s and was also getting hit on by some men while out of the country despite now being in her early 40s. Your 30s is still pretty young and it isn't the end of the world.

@EvisceratedJester I really want to believe i do have a chance but everyday more and more i just feel there really is no one for me. This week has intensified these feelings at its worst.

I have been talking to guys at university because I attend a really large university. Every time I talk to them to get to know them they don't click with me but engage better with other women. One man will get bored or distant talking to me but he is so much happier talking to other women. I see it all the time. It's hurts so much because I know a lot about them and care all about those details but no one cares about me like that

More and more in the mirror all I see a woman no-one wants.

My experience with loneliness is similar to yours. Although I'm not a woman. Everyone around me can find love but I've never been able to. It's emasculating to not have this fundamental human experience at least once. You actually try which is admirable. I don't. I don't even talk about it outside of here. I can't tell anyone how lonely I am.

@DeadEndRoad I am now grieving everyday for all the failed encounters I had with men and everything have lost out on.

The pain is just immense everyday evenings are spent crying because I have never been wanted by a man while everyone gets picked, loved, appreciated, wanted and so much more.

Why do guys ignore me when I am just infront of them while every other woman is visible ?

I talk to men i see all the time they don't click with me but engage better with other women. One man will get bored talking to me but happier talking to other women.

I don't want to me anymore I wish I was that woman who gets picked easily

Always knew I'd have a lonely life . Always been too ugly for love. Always will be .
I wish I had had the courage to ctb back when I was 30 for just that reason. Would have saved a lot of hurt and wasted time...

@greebo6 I really tried and now I am just done. If only society understood better the pain of being single all your life.

Couples don't know how lucky they are to have someone.

I can understand your feelings. Rejection is so hard. But i want to tell you this... Every relationship I had before age 28 was TERRIBLE! I'm now 47 and have been with the same guy since 28. While this relationship is very flawed, it has been a very open, honest, loving, and dedicated one. I'm happy I met him when I was almost 30, because 20 or 25 year old me was not the best version of me.

@cashmeout77 Thanks for sharing. As time goes on it is getting harder to stay. I gone through so much rejection and humiliation ever since my teens, early and mid 20s.

I finally can't cope anymore. All i wanted was someone's girlfriend, a wife and woman really wanted.

More and more i feel like everyone is taken even at university everyone has a relationship except me

 

[FireFox]

35yo manchild here, can't support myself, no sex since late 20s

@OnMyLast Legs I am 27 but sometimes I feel like that like that unhappy lonely teenage girl who was regularly rejected and humiliated by the boys at school while the other girls at school got picked and had boys wanted to be their friend.

I still remember yesterday the boy I had a crush cruelly humiliating me in front of all his friends and the entire school. I liked him because I thought he was different from all the boys at school.

The arsehole lied to me about being gay so I will no longer be interested in him anymore. Worst of all he got his friends in the school to assist him and because I believed it he was finding it hilarious and laughing at me behind my back while seeing multiple girls over the weekend. When it came out publicly he lied people in the school found it funny I was so upset.

.It turned out he was like everyone else in the school who was thought I was the werid girl and didn't want to be associated with me because people innthe school gossiped about us hanging out together in school.

 

[Noob]

I sincerely think the man you are interested rejection you for religious beliefs was not the worst like you think.
Look like this - if this man is a militant atheist like you said, that means he is not just an averege guy who just believe god does not exist and go through his day thinking about other things. He is someone who puts more energy and time in this specific field and is a contrary belief than yours. He may have have friends who thinks like him and may be very vocal. In time this would most likely create atrition, hurt you and and a toxic relationship begins.

Finding someone who is a good match with us is a hard achievement in life, you are not alone in this. Many people out there just have soulless matches who are nothing to be envy of.

 

[AuroraB]

NOT AT ALL to dismiss your pain and disappointment but I promise you, as a woman over 60, nearly half of all marriages end in divorce. That means that around half of those married couples wish they never got married and consider divorce all the time. The fantasy is always better than the reality.

 

[divinemistress36]

My massage therapist didnt find her soulmate till she was 37 and 10 years out and they are still married. She went through 2 bad marriages before that. She and her current husband had done a lot of soul healing before they met. So I think that played a part in making it work. Like others have said not everybody is happy together. A lot of couples cheat on each other or are just together cause they dont want to be alone and few last long term.

 

[ShatteredSerenity]

I'm 43 and just separated from a 19 year marriage. I'm devastated that it didn't work out, but marriage conflicts were also making me suffer. My wife was rigid and unwilling to work together to resolve disagreements in an amicable way, so that doomed the relationship. There's just a big risk you have to take when you choose a partner you're hoping to rely on in the long term.

Now I'm middle aged, single, lonely, and ready to ctb any day now. I'm not hot, but I look decent and I get enough traction on dating sites to find someone. The problem is that bipolar disorder destroyed my life, and nobody in their right mind will want to be with me anymore. I don't want to spend the next 40+ years alone, especially not on top of all the other shit I have to deal with, so I feel this is the point I make my exit from this fucked up life.

 

[FireFox]

I sincerely think the man you are interested rejection you for religious beliefs was not the worst like you think.
Look like this - if this man is a militant atheist like you said, that means he is not just an averege guy who just believe god does not exist and go through his day thinking about other things. He is someone who puts more energy and time in this specific field and is a contrary belief than yours. He may have have friends who thinks like him and may be very vocal. In time this would most likely create atrition, hurt you and and a toxic relationship begins.

Finding someone who is a good match with us is a hard achievement in life, you are not alone in this. Many people out there just have soulless matches who are nothing to be envy of.

@Noob He told me he is an Anti Thiest. Anti Thiesm the philosophical position that theism should be opposed and sees organised religion as harmful.

I told him its OK because I liked him for the person he is. I told him I respect people's right to believe whatever they want to believe because I am very tolerant and open minded person and I will never force my beliefs on him.

The guy didn't really respect me either looking back now and put up with a lot of his behaviours.

● On multiple occasions he made hurtful and disgusting comments about my small height. He later confirmed the reason why he did it was because he was a bigger man and was worried about how "awkward" things would be in the bedroom If we ended up having sex.

I was so disgusted and hurt because we were not even dating and already he was thinking about sex. I wanted to know more him as a person and cared about everything he told me about himself ie his dislikes, likes, places he travelled too, his favourite hobbies, favourite Christmas movies,his birthday, his dreams in life. He was too busy thinking about how to put his penis inside of me because he is very tall.

● I paid attention to absolutely everything he told me about himself but he never paid attention to anything I said about myself. It eventually began to show in all our conservations.

● He constantly complained how I am "hard to read" . I was always honest with him about my attraction and feelings for him because I really liked him. No matter what I did it was NEVER EVER enough for him.

Despite everything I still miss him so much. This man is currently single and not had a relationship in 6 years. He even complained to me about women not being interested in him then here is me who is a woman who really wanted him and he decides he doesn't want me because I go to church.

This has driven to me to insanity because I can't win anymore with guys.

NOT AT ALL to dismiss your pain and disappointment but I promise you, as a woman over 60, nearly half of all marriages end in divorce. That means that around half of those married couples wish they never got married and consider divorce all the time. The fantasy is always better than the reality.

@AuroraB All my life I have been rejected by guys and it has messed up in so many ways. I was jealous of the girls at school because they were special because the boys picked them, wanted to be their friend and were always so nice to them while the boys at school terrorised me and humiliated me. A boy really liked behaved exactly liked the boys who bullied me at school it was so painful because I really thought he different from the boys at school.

I struggled to fit in at school and people thought I was crazy because I used to throw things, scream, cause disruption when I fought back against the people bullying me at school. In class I regularly answered questions and had strong opinions on various topics we were learning because I was that engaged in my subjects.

I wished I was pretty like Megan Fox so boys wouldn't treat me badly anymore at school. When I was a teenager the movie Jennifer's Body came out. I was so upset seeing how pretty Megan fox was because I felt plain and boring not looking like her.

I saw being sexualised and desired as a good thing because I hated being the weird girl boys just made fun of, excluded and treated terribly. I wanted to be the pretty girl because everyone wants to be the pretty girls friend and date her.

In adulthood my appearance has improved a lot but no matter what I do guys still are not interested in me. I ask men out and they dump always close to our date every time, I care about all the details the guys I like tell me about themselves but they don't ever care for me.

I look at my reflection and I don't want to me anymore. No one wants me I wish I was someone else. Someone prettier, smarter and someone special that a man wants because its certainty not me. I want wake up as someone else.

 

[FireFox]

My massage therapist didnt find her soulmate till she was 37 and 10 years out and they are still married. She went through 2 bad marriages before that. She and her current husband had done a lot of soul healing before they met. So I think that played a part in making it work. Like others have said not everybody is happy together. A lot of couples cheat on each other or are just together cause they dont want to be alone and few last long term.

@divinemistress36 I even got told I "try too hard with men"

One time I told an older woman divorcee in her 40s at a training event about my expression with guys she says " I try too hard with men"

I can't win anymore. If I don't try men won't pursue me when I do try men still don't want me.

 

[devils~advocate]

Are there any single men at your church? Are there single meetings at the university or city?
In my experience, people that go to your church will assist in set ups as well. This is how I met my 1st wife.
I was 26 at the time...she 20. Two years latter, got married and stayed together for 4-5 years more.
She finally left for someone else, which was very sad for me..... but I wouldnt have known that when I met her.
So if you havent tried already...maybe giving your Church as a resource would help.

 

[FireFox]

Are there any single men at your church? Are there single meetings at the university or city?
In my experience, people that go to your church will assist in set ups as well. This is how I met my 1st wife.
I was 26 at the time...she 20. Two years latter, got married and stayed together for 4-5 years more.
She finally left for someone else, which was very sad for me..... but I wouldnt have known that when I met her.
So if you havent tried already...maybe giving your Church as a resource would help.

@devils~advocate NO. My church is very small and majority of the congregation is full of elderly people both men and women.

The young adults in the church I went to school with them and now they are all married.

All social events in the church is full of elderly people and young people with their already made families. I gave up a long time ago finding a man at church.

Im in my 20s and its already hard to meet a guy. Being 30 looks like hell when your alone even if you had a partner he could leave so that fear of ending up alone again us still there

@ghost-shock One of the worst things about being bullied in school is I never got to experience the normal teenage romance milestones everyone else got to have.

● Boys at school builled me because they thought I was crazy, werid and aspects of my appearance was not pretty while other girls got picked. No guy wanted to know the real me because they listened to school gossip and cared about school gossip.

- A new kid came to our school and one day in class he snapped at me. He said " people warned me about you." This new kid hanged out with the boys who regularly builled me and listened to all the things they told him at me.

● A boy I really liked was ashamed to be seen with me at school. The boy lied to me about being gay so I will no longer be interested in him anymore. Worst of all he got his friends in the school to assist him and because I believed it he was finding it hilarious and laughing at me behind my back while seeing multiple girls over the weekend. When it came out publicly he lied people in the school found it funny I was so upset.

.It turned out he was like everyone else in the school who was thought I was the werid girl and didn't want to be associated with me because people innthe school gossiped about us hanging out.

It hurt because I thought he was different from everyone else at school

●Other boys pretended to be interested in me as as a joke for their friends.

I can't relete when people talk fondly about their first love, first date, first crush and being someone a guy really wanted. All I have ever known is guys humiliating me in my teens, rejecting me in adulthood and always being that girl now woman nobody wants

I see women with their boyfriends and how i wish i was them and not me anymore. All I am is the unwanted woman who is left behind while everyone is now married or has a relationship. There is no one for me.

A woman who gets picked by a man is the luckiest women in the world. I am the unluckiest woman in the world never being chosen.

I do not want to be like this anymore. I don't want my existence anymore.

 

[devils~advocate]

Im not trying to push the Church path...but are there any associated churches or faith that you could visit?
We used to do that....go visit other churches...admittedly to see who our age was there.
Religious singles meetups were around my city when I went to college. I would hope they still have those sorts of things.
I guess I think trying to meet someone at a bar or social event could introduce people who might conflict with your ethics, beliefs, etc.

 

[FireFox]

Same, although you're way stronger than I for holding out till 30, I can't. Even though both of us don't technically qualify, r/FA30Plus maybe a good resource for feeling a little less alone in your struggle.

@PlannedforPeru I get so upset when people talk about their first love as a teenager, their first date as a teenager and all those milestones of teenage romance. i never got to have those milestones because the boys at school severely bullied me and others boys didn't want to know the real me because they listened to all the school gossip about me.

I got gossiped about a lot because I got into regular fights at school standing up for myself when I was being buillled. I caused a lot of disruption in the fighting which took place jn the classes and breaktimes people thought I was crazy. Yep. I was made fun of for how I looked, where I lived, my hair as a black girl and other racialised bullying.

I hated secondary school because these arseholes. Learning my crush at school was a bully just like all the boys was the worst for me because I really thought he was an awesome guy and I loved him because I thought he was different.

His bullying was indirect and covert making it even more cruel.

 

[endofline2010]

Actually, suicide, natural death, or abortion are all options for not having a lonely life forever. You could die of old age having been alone your whole life, and you would have only been alone maybe 80 years. Forever is much, much longer than that. Also, since you weren't born at the moment of the big bang, you couldn't, by definition be alone forever since you missed the first 14 billion years of existence.

Sorry, I was just trying to inject some levity in the situation. But you're giving yourself a couple years, which is a good plan. Things can and often do change. Wish you the best.

 

[FireFox]

Actually, suicide, natural death, or abortion are all options for not having a lonely life forever. You could die of old age having been alone your whole life, and you would have only been alone maybe 80 years. Forever is much, much longer than that. Also, since you weren't born at the moment of the big bang, you couldn't, by definition be alone forever since you missed the first 14 billion years of existence.

Sorry, I was just trying to inject some levity in the situation. But you're giving yourself a couple years, which is a good plan. Things can and often do change. Wish you the best.

@endofline2010 I have tried so hard and have made ALL the effort to appreciate the qualities of the guys i really liked possess, I made all the effort to remember absolutely everything guys tell me about themselves, I put myself out there and still it's never ever enough.

I am not dealing with this anymore. I am permanently messed up as result of men rejecting me throughout my entire life.

Already everyone else I grew up is now married. This is my life everyone getting picked except me. I went through this as a teenager now again in adulthood I don't want my life anymore.
If I had a boyfriend as a teenager like everyone else at school and I didn't go through being continuously rejected and humiliated by boys at school including my own crush who turned into a school bully I would have all these insecurities into adulthood.

I even lie to men that I have had boyfriends because I am so ashamed I never got to experience normal relationships like everyone else.

No man would want a virgin at 27 who never had a boyfriend.

I am deeply insecure all because I have never been picked by guys. I have messed up image over how I see myself.
Top 3 reasons why i want to kill myself

1) I don't want to see another decade anymore
2) Being single and i don't want to go through my 30s being single because it's impossible to find a man at that age

3) Life isn't for me and I don't want to seen as awful future.

 

[over2025]

No man would want a virgin at 27 who never had a boyfriend.

Except a man who's a virgin at 26 like me whose never had a girlfriend.
I feel you though, this is one of the top reasons I wish to stop existing.

 

[endofline2010]

@FireFox I've had several serious relationships in my life. A couple started as friends (like what you describe) and a couple started as hookups, and we realized there was a deeper connection. I also have had strong feelings for both men and women.

What I'm saying is that maybe it's your environment that's getting in the way. Once you finish school (are you working on a graduate degree?) and get out into the adult/work world, you will be exposed to so many more people, experiences, and opportunities. Even something like a fling at a conference could easily turn into something more. And if not, at least you'll be having fun along the way.

 

[sevennn]

its all just a lie. it wont happen to me either. its better for me to die. i shouldnt have been brought into this world on the assumption ill be happy. thats my parents mistake

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

30 is the new 20 FYI.

Sucks that men are more superficial than women. Have you tried a glow up by any chance? I mean like SERIOUSLY taken a hard look at yourself and tried to drastically do things to improve your appearance? Working out, different makeup routine, hairdo change etc. I feel like most people have a lot of potential waiting to be unlocked, appearance-wise.

And I would defintely heed any advice about "trying too hard" with men. This actually applies to men towards women as well. Presenting a challenge is part of the primitive mating ritual. The thrill of the chase. Scarcity. I figured out too late that being the nice guy is a one-way ticket to Friendzoneville. But I realized that after I started being a little rough around the edges personality-wise, I became more attractive. I guess I exuded more confidence. Don't throw yourself at men.

I hope you find success romantically soon. You have plenty of time. Trust me.

 

[FireFox]

Actually, suicide, natural death, or abortion are all options for not having a lonely life forever. You could die of old age having been alone your whole life, and you would have only been alone maybe 80 years. Forever is much, much longer than that. Also, since you weren't born at the moment of the big bang, you couldn't, by definition be alone forever since you missed the first 14 billion years of existence.

Sorry, I was just trying to inject some levity in the situation. But you're giving yourself a couple years, which is a good plan. Things can and often do change. Wish you the best.

@endofline2010 At 25 I got pretty and man began to notice me.. I ended up falling in love with a 55 year old man because he noticed me and gave me attention while boys my own age were never interested me whenever I showed interest in them.

This arsehole messed me up in so many ways. He was a work colleague in a job that was my first ever full time job since graduating from my undergraduate degree. Last year this is arsehole humiliated me at work. Long story

This summer I started to bond more with a 30 year old guy from a retail store I normally shop in. Things were going great and then the guy decides to reject me because I am Catholic.

He told me he is an Anti Thiest. Anti Thiesm the philosophical position that theism should be opposed and sees organised religion as harmful.

I told him its OK because I liked him for the person he is. I told him I respect people's right to believe whatever they want to believe because I am very tolerant and open minded person and I will never force my beliefs on him.

I AM SICK OF ALWAYS BEING REJECTED AND NO ONE EVER WANTING ME THE WAY OTHER WOMEN GET WANTED

I AM KILLING MYSELF AT 30. NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY ITS ALWAYS REJECTION

NO MORE