Venting Suicide as painless is rubbish

[Bardia]

To be honest, I've had it with worrying about painless or not, agonizing or not, comfortable or not. Those are all distractions that paralyze my taking action. What I need is certainty, quickness, and to minimize the immediate impact on others. I've previously been through agonizing pain, and multiple times, too; I can take it all knowing that it will end, especially if the timescale involved is definitely short.

A lot of people seem to want their death to be guaranteed easier on the nerve endings than a routine visit to the dentist. I don't think this is realistic, ever, at least not without MD-level internal medicine or anesthesiology training and probably a real anesthetist or CRNA to monitor everything, study your chemistry and physiology to make the best choice, etc. In other words, forget it. They won't help you. All they want is to keep you alive regardless of any other consideration.

Unfortunately, a lot of the most certain and quick methods leave a huge traumatic, gory mess for some poor underpaid sap to have to deal with. Guns, falls, trains, etc. Inflicting PTSD on others I will not, if I can help it.

The least impactful-on-first-responders methods we have seem to be less quick, and the methods that are most certain might include some suffering. So be it.

Bring on the agony. If it's temporary, I can take it.

What I can't take: the endless mental anguish, the intense self-loathing, the constant suicidal fantasies. Mental pain isn't visible, but it is fucking real. If I must suffer a little for just awhile to end greater, permanent suffering, then suffer a little I shall.

Certain as it can realistically be. Relatively quick. Minimized impact on first responders. That's what I need. Not necessarily painless.

Getting closer, folks. Basically, I'm just working out how best to overcome SI without stopping myself in my tracks before I even get started. That SN in the basement closet is looking better and better.

Thanks for reading.

 

[Alec]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. I agree, to suffer pain knowing for sure it's gonna end is better than to suffer anguish and misery with no end in sight. Although that been said, we've suffered enough, if there's a way to make this as painless as possible, I'm gonna take that one. That's why I chose SN too.

 

[littlelady774]

I have SN and am scared too.. but aren't we all. My anxiety disorder has kept me from doing a lot of things in life and I won't let suicide be one of them.
It can't be that bad. It's rated 7/10 in the pph and Nitschke is promoting it.

I think the worst pain I've ever experienced is after my wisdom teeth extraction, I got a dry socket. I doubt it will be worse than that.

 

[LifeOver]

This is what I think too: a moment of physical pain is much better than a lifetime of mental suffering. I'm using SN too and I'm waiting for my meto to arrive before I can end everything.

It's really ironic that we all convince ourselves that this little moment of pain is nothing, yet when we actually hold the bottle of SN in our hands... it's a different story.

 

[Fragile]

i think there has to be a balance between speed and low suffering, that's why a lot of people survive overdoses, when there is pain and time involved then the survival instinct kicks in and makes you call an ambulance. it also makes me think that SN is not a good method because of this, there is some suffering, a lot of time and it doesn't seem as reliable as people make it out to be.

if you really want a reliable and quick method then it is either full suspension, shotgun or falling from 100 meters+, but as you said, most of us don't want to give that trauma to other people.

that's why i'm looking for N, but i know that i'll have to settle for other methods that i'm not comfortable with. it is borderline impossible to get.

 

[Bardia]

Maybe Fentanyl is the better choice, after all? But I have SN. And I have no idea how the dark web works, though of course I could learn.

 

[Fragile]

Maybe Fentanyl is the better choice, after all? But I have SN. And I have no idea how the dark web works, though of course I could learn.

F seems like a really good method, the lethal dose is so tiny that some people get an OD just by touching a few grains of it and people pass out almost instantly while injecting, it is also an opiate so there should be no pain involved.

sadly, this is something that i can't get in my country so you may have better luck once you learn how to use the darknet.