serah
Student
- May 6, 2020
- 177
I'm sick and tired of feeling this way, I made a similar post like this before but I really wonder if anyone else on this site deals with the same issue. I suffer from really bad "suicidal episodes", that's the best way I can attempt to describe it. Out of nowhere my suicidal thoughts will worsen. I think about suicide every day and have managed it for years, but during these "episodes" they become the only thing in my mind. My desire to ctb is amplified and I stop thinking rationally. Life becomes utterly meaningless and I'm so fucking terrified of the decisions I might make when going through these episodes. I'm not sure if this is just my depression or a more extreme version of suicidal ideation. I remember speaking to someone who mentioned having similiar issues but they said it was because of their BPD. Does anyone struggle with this? Any idea on how to make the thoughts disappear?